Brain. Hurt. God, if I had under my control a cinematic zombie horde capable of traveling through time, I would sic them on the entire lot of Goddess of Fire characters because everyone (minus Tae Do) has no functioning brain tissue in that drama hence it must be super delicious and fatty. My zombie horde would approve of this massacre because episode 12 was low on the Tae Do meter but high on the “da fuck is this shit” meter. Tae Do and Gwanghaegun storm the Ming dynasty envoy’s residence and rescues Jung Yi by conveniently discovering evidence that the Ming envoy was bribing Joseon officials and stealing state secrets. Because that stuff is always just laying around for the discovery. Tae Do takes Jung Yi home and she promises to keep her distance from Gwanghaegun once she returns to the pottery department and never tell him her real identity. Gwanghaegun is told that he made an enemy of the Ming dynasty and he’ll never become Crown Prince, which makes Imhaegun all happy. Gwanghaegun learns from Shinsonggun that his trusty bodyguard is named Kim Tae Do, and he angrily confronts Tae Do about the deception that Jung Yi died and that she’s back disguised as Tae Pyung. Whatever, how dare you get screamy at my Tae Do, blame your own blindness for not recognizing her since she’s about as subtle as a rhino bowling through a flock of lumbering llamas. He notes that Tae Do is still devoted life and soul to Jung Yi. Yeah, he’s perfect like that, the back of the Jung Yi line starts in the next life for you, m’kay? Gwangaegun picks on Jung Yi while waiting for her to come clean with him, and asks her to make a bowl with him. Cue super lame pottery making sequence cribbed from a billion other more romantic couples – the Ghost pottery sequence, the Jang Ok Jung dressing sequence – plus a totally random and kinda icky fan service sequence when Gwanghaegun goes to a waterfall to shower off and makes Jung Yi keep watch for him. Huh? Also, not cool douchebag, she’s an unmarried girl and you know who she really is. The episode ends with that bowl finally getting baked and when it comes out Gwanghaeghun confronts Jung Yi about knowing who she really is. This episode sucked donkey balls even more than this drama usually does, because less Tae Do equals more suck.
Okay, I take back a little bit of the suckage commentary, the scene of the two guys sword fighting was hot, especially the moment when they simultaneously press a sword against each other’s neck. I wouldn’t be adverse to a little A Frozen Flower twist to this drama. Because Moon Geun Young and Lee Sang Yoon has ZERO chemistry with each other and look like uncle-niece when together thereby grossing me out, but both rock fantastic chemistry with Kim Bum. Actually, Gwanghaegun is a leeeeetle bit smarter than Jung Yi, hence Tae Do should pick him because who wouldn’t want the smarter person.
Tae Do-Gwanghaegun cut: