Lost You Forever Chapter 6: Like a Familiar Person Has Come

You can sense that Xiao Liu’s time being Xiao Liu is slowly coming to an end. Lost You Forever tells its story in years, tens of years, hundreds of years, since the leads are all mystical gods and demons and beings of magical spiritual powers. Because they seem to have it all, it makes it even more painful to see how they suffer more than a human would. The torture inflicted on Shi Qi is beyond the pale, years of degradation at the hands of his own brother. Xiao Liu may get bitten and tossed around by Xiang Liu, and we can all argue that she kinda likes it and eggs him on at times, watching her get tortured by orders of Xuan in the last chapter was totally heartbreaking. Tong Hua delivers her giant hammers of pain and doom in ways that feel lyrical because so much is left unsaid. We know Xiao Liu is getting her hands gnawed on but we are with her as she relives the happiest times of her life in her memory. Her childhood happiness with her older brother cousin, a time that is probably so long ago for Xiao Liu, but that is the only true happiness she has ever known in a life that was born into greatness and then thrust into danger. When I read Tong Hua’s novels, I really allow myself the freedom of mind not to pass judgment on characters right off the bat. She always has a way of fleshing everything out throughout her story so that the my final opinion ends up being so very different than my initial impression. Her writing teaches me patience and an appreciation for story flow beyond what is shown. I love the way she allows her characters to expression emotions by the tiniest of details, or nothing at all but a meaning hidden between the lines. Shi Qi is as straightforward as it gets for a leading man, his goodness without reservation. Xiang Liu is the opposite, even if he is nice to Xiao Liu you can tell he won’t ever let her think it. This chapter is equal parts action-packed battle scene and quiet contemplation between two people who are both so close yet still so far away from each other.

Chapter 6 – Like a Familiar Person Has Come:

Xiao Liu’s body was very unique so wounds healed faster than most. Jing also left a lot of good medicine ranging from the bones and elixirs from Jade Mountain, harnessed crystal, whatever was in the vast wilderness that was precious it was here. Xiao Liu’s injuries healed quickly.

Xiao Liu never hesitated or was shy about using anything, dumping the entire jar of bone essence to soak his hand in. But the only thing he never used was painkillers. Everyday he loudly howled in pain and jumped up and down. Xiang Liu initially just coldly stared, but later he was so annoyed by the noise that he snarked “I am pitying the person who tortured you. They gave you the flesh eating bug torture, you gave them the blood curdling noise torture.”

Xiao Liu pouted towards him “I really regret giving the voodoo bug to Xuan now.”

Xiang Liu laughed “Even if you raised a bug, you ought to raise a more vicious one. This bug you raised requires you to first harm yourself. Thank god you planted the other in Xuan where it might have some use. If you planted it in me, remember that I’ve got nine-heads. Even if you died from the pain, it likely wouldn’t hurt me much.”

Xiao Liu felt talking to Xiang Liu was just making himself angrier so huffed off and went to hide in the clouds. The days passed and the pain decreased and Xiao Liu’s hand gradually recovered.

At dawn when Xiao Liu was still fast asleep, he suddenly felt a stirring in his body. Initially he didn’t understand but gradually he figured it out – the bug was sending him a message. Xiao Liu quickly got up and rushed out of the hut “Xiang Liu, Xuan…..”

“I know.”

There were more then ten masked men standing on the mountain top. Each man and their winged rides were all huffing with deadly intent and braced for battle. Clearly they knew Xuan was close, and seeing the way they fanned out, Xuan was bringing a lot of people.

Xiang Liu said to Xiao Liu “Xuan’s coming with murderous rage. I’m ready to kill him so tonight it’s a battle to the death. You find a place to hide safely.” Because he was wearing a mask, Xiang Liu’s face was covered and only his eyes was revealed, and it was so cold without a shred of warmth. Xiao Liu was too scared to bullshit, looked around a few times, then darted underneath a big rock crevice.

A little while later, Xiao Liu saw Xuan leading a group of men swooping down. Over three dozen men on various winged rides, with their wings spread blanketing the entire sky. Xiao Liu looked up in shock – who was Xuan really, to have such a powerful force behind him?

The battle commenced in the sky. Compared to Xiang Liu, Xuan was at an advantage with his number of men. But Xiang Liu’s men lived under the spectre of death and accumulated mutual understanding through blood shed. They were fierce enough that the two sides were evenly matched up.

A sudden boom and a golden fireball struck one man and he was obliterated along with his winged ride. Then another was sliced in half by a massive ice sword. Two combatants swooped past and Xiao Liu couldn’t see clearly who it was. Something fell from the sky and shattered on the rocks. Xiao Liu picked it up and it was a bloody mask.

Xiao Liu couldn’t hide anymore and rushed out, climbing to the top of the highest tree.

The sky was ablaze in battle, with fire and smoke, but Xiang Liu’s presence was impossible to miss. His white hair, white robe, and white mask, on a white condor, he was like a snow patch swirling in the sky. Every move was beautiful but each was a deadly attack.

Four people encircled him, one of whom was Xuan, and each was a powerful opponent. Xiang Liu battled by only attacking and never guarding, it was to win or die. His weapon was a curved sword like a crescent moon, crystal clear like it was made of ice, and he wielded it so that it appeared to be ice droplets dancing in the air.

Xiang Liu didn’t care about protecting his back, he rushed forward and sliced through the ice blade attacks. A head went flying but Xiang Liu’s back was pierced and there was blood. Ice blades rained down on him but Xiang Liu didn’t hide and deftly dodged it. His blade went down and another man and his winged ride was gone. But Xiang Liu was hurt again and there was blood on the corner of his lips.

There was deadly leaves swirling towards him into a wood spirit maze but Xiang Liu didn’t even bother to solve it and instead pierced through the center and took out the man. That left only him versus Xuan, one on one.

Xiang Liu rushed Xuan but he was already injured and his spiritual power greatly decreased, whereas Xuan wasn’t even hurt and was full of power. Xuan held a wooden spirit long whip in his left hand and a golden short sword in his right hand. He was actually able to deftly control two different powers at the same time and attacked, with the whip like a snake and the sword like a lion.

Xiao Liu called out “Xiang Liu, left hand.” Xiao Liu smashed his left hand on the tree and the pain was excruciating. Xuan’s attack slipped.

“Right hand.”

Xiao Liu smashed his right hand on the tree and Xuan almost dropped his weapon.

Xiang Liu was able to laugh even in the middle of battle while Xuan glared in rage and send his whip flying towards Xiao Liu. Xiao Liu lowered his head and slid down the tree into the thick forest where the winged rides wouldn’t enter so Xuan couldn’t reach him.

Xiang Liu ordered “Left leg, right hand.”

Xiao Liu cursed but took a spiked branch and viciously smashed down on his left leg at the same time as he smashed his right hand on a rock. Xiang Liu summoned his powers and tossed his sword away as he flew towards Xuan, clearly intending to deliver the killing blow. Xuan was able to roll off his winged ride so Xiang Liu’s attack struck the beast instead.

Xuan fell from a great height and loudly smashed through a giant tree. He was greatly injured and covered in blood but he jumped right back up and started running while calling for his men.

In the deep forest, the trees were so thick the winged rides couldn’t enter so Xiang Liu jumped off his condor and started chasing after Xuan on foot.

Xiao Liu was jumping from tree to tree like a monkey and following along. Suddenly his eyes spotted something long and white. It looked like the tail of an animal. Before Xiao Liu could process it, his body froze. He jumped over and picked up the white thing hanging on a tree – it was a fluffy white fox tail. Xiao Liu’s entire person was immobilized. Then his lips curled into a smile, and within that smile there was tears in his eyes that were about to fall sorrowfully.

Suddenly his face changed and he charged after Xiang Liu and Xuan like a crazed person.

Xuan was flying but Xiang Liu suddenly darted out like a ghost from within the thicket, his hands already transformed into razor sharp claws like five daggers, and it was swiftly aimed at Xuan. Xuan blocked with his whip but the whip was destroyed but the claw hand was intact. Xiang Liu’s eyes glowed demon red and Xuan’s body was pressed down like a mountain was on top of him. He couldn’t move or dodge but he refused to close his eyes. If he was going to die, then he wanted to see clearly how he died.

A figure flew forward like a shooting star into Xuan’s embrace and blocked Xiang Liu’s thunderous blow.

“Ah———” Xiao Liu painfully screamed.

Xuan felt the exact same pain, it pierced him straight through the heart. But he only felt the pain and wasn’t actually injured. Xuan stared in shock at Xiao Liu, not understanding why Xiao Liu saved his life at his own expense.

Xiao Liu pushed him hard “Run!”

Xiang Liu wouldn’t let Xuan escape and tried to attack again. Xiao Liu turned and risked his life again, tightly grabbing onto Xiang Liu’s clawed hand to prevent him from attacking Xuan again.

Xuan’s men arrived and helped him escape, but Xuan turned and gave Xiao Liu a mystified look.

Xiang Liu was so close to victory but Xiao Liu ruined it. He was enraged and kicked Xiao Liu hard. Xiao Liu crumpled to the ground but still used every ounce of his might to hold on to to Xiang Liu’s leg so he couldn’t chase after Xuan.

Xuan was helped on a winged ride which rose into the clouds and disappeared. He leaned on his servant and tightly clenched his lips as he felt the same pain. The pain was in his stomach, his arms, every part of his body hurt. It was like his entire body was being ripped to shreds. But he knew he wasn’t going to be ripped to shreds, because this pain didn’t belong to him, it belonged to Xiao Liu.

Xuan stared out into the cloud sea and couldn’t figure it out. Why? Why did Xiao Liu first help Xiang Liu kill him, but at the very last moment, risked his own life to save him? He used a vicious torture on Xiao Liu, so Xiao Liu ought to hate him and want him dead. Why save him then?

Xiang Liu’s rage was like the churning ocean, threatening to swallow everything in its path. Xiao Liu knew Xiang Liu would kill him but felt no fear.

The red blood around her made her see the fire red phoenix flowers. Under the phoenix tree, there was a Mom who made a swing for her. She stood on the swing and welcomed the falling phoenix leaves. She rose high and her laughter blanketed the earth. Gege stood under the phoenix tree, looking up at her with a smile. When she came down, he pushed her up again. Her swing rose up, came down, rose up, came down…..

Xiang Liu’s razor sharp claw came down towards Xiao Liu’s neck but Xiao Liu’s eyes were wide open and he smiled sweetly towards him, his smile like a flower blooming in the Spring. Xiao Liu’s thin neck was in Xiang Liu’s hand, he only need squeeze and all trouble would be gone. Xiao Liu smiled and sighed softly, as if he was content. His head lowered and his eyes closed.

Xiang Liu jerked back his hand, picking up Xiao Liu and taking him away.

When Xiao Liu opened his eyes, he was in the middle of a cave, his entire body soaked in small pool. There was all sorts of precious medicines tossed into the pool For anyone else, mixing all these various herbs and medicines would do more harm than good. But for Xiao Liu’s weird body, soaking in all sorts of random things actually helped.

There was likely a painkiller medicine in there as well because Xiao Liu felt his body was soft and painless. Not far from the pool, Xiang Liu sat on a jade pallet, his brows furrowed as if all the energy was focused there, as if he was about to collapse at any moment. Xiao Liu didn’t dare move or speak so quietly closed his eyes.

“Why did you save him?” Xiang Liu’s voice was icy cold, containing his tamped down rage.

Xiao Liu’s mind twirled for a minute but didn’t even hesitate and said clearly “Because I know who he is.”

Xiang Liu’s brow lifted slightly.

Xiao Liu continued “A few days ago I was mulling over why you were so free with your time lately and actually spending every day with me. Then I realized you weren’t taking care of me, you were waiting for Xuan. Jing wanted me to hide in the mountains because he knew that you guys had been battling with the Xuan Yuan army for hundreds of years and they still couldn’t track you down. If you wanted, there was no way Xuan could have found me. But you guessed his real identity, and you knew he wouldn’t let me live, so you used me to set a trap with the intention to kill him.

“So I used you as a lure. You have a problem with that?”

“Normally no, since he wants to kill me so best take him out. But I know now who he really is. He is Zhuan Xu, one of the Xuan Yuan Kingdom princes. Not just any prince, he is the eldest grandson prince of the Yellow Emperor! If I help you kill him, then the Yellow Emperor will surely wreak vengeance on the world and I won’t have any peace. There won’t be a place within the vast wilderness that I can hide!”

Xiang Liu opened his eyes and stared “I used to think you had some guts.”

Xiao Liu responded “Sorry for disappointing you. You dare to make an enemy of the Yellow Emperor, I don’t. The rage of an Emperor, the blood flows a thousand miles! I cannot endure it!”

“How did you learn Xuan’s identity?”

“When you were chasing him, one of his servants was so frantic he slipped and said something about hurry up and save Prince Zhuan Xu. It was mumbled but you were willing to endure massive injury to try and kill him and there isn’t a lot of people in the vast wilderness that would get you that worked up. I thought about it and connected the dots.”

Xiang Liu stood up and walked into the pool, his hand grabbed Xiao Liu’s neck and slammed it against the stone side “You knew that I would risk severe injury to kill him!” Xiao Liu had no strength to resist so backed down “I ruined your big plan, so if you want to kill me then kill me!” He docilely stuck out his neck and closed his eyes.

Xiang Liu coldly laughed “Kill you? That’s be too easy on you!” He lowered his head and bit down hard on Xiao Liu’s neck and drank his blood as if to release his rage. Xiao Liu leaned his neck back and rested on the side of the pool. Thank god he was of some use to Xiang Liu. Since Xiang Liu was a nine-headed demon with a very strange form, it was near impossible for him to find medicine to heal his injuries. Which is why the equally strange form Xiao Liu was his best medicine.

Xuan was laying on the pallet and suddenly bolted upright and touched his neck. He was still alive!

In the beginning there was a sharp pain like teeth biting through the flesh. But gradually, the pain transformed into something odd. In the pain there was a sensation of numbness, a shivering feeling of bliss, as if someone was sucking, and licking, and lightly kissing.

Xuan felt his mouth turn dry and was suddenly very angry. With such severe injuries, was that guy crazy or what the heck was he doing?

Xiang Liu raised his head and stared at Xiao Liu, blood staining his lips, his eyes darkened, his breath slightly labored. Xiao Liu was initially sitting sprawled like a man but suddenly he slid down and unconsciously wanted to cover his chest, but he immediately stopped himself and continued to sit sprawled open.

Xiang Liu’s hand moved down from his neck, tracing his jawline, down his clavicle. Xiao Liu grabbed his hand and smiled “I’m a man. Even if you like men, you should find someone better looking.”

“You’re a man?” Xiang Liu’s slightly blood stained lips curved upward “If you’re a man, how did you lure the Jiu Jiu out?”

Xiao Liu blinked quizzically “I don’t believe you can’t change your shape as well as voice.”

“I trust a beast’s natural instinct.”

“If a beast’s natural instinct was so accurate, your Furball wouldn’t have been poisoned by me. There would be no such thing as traps, and hunters wouldn’t need to hunt.”

“What kind of transformation spell are you using? You have very weak powers but it’s completely seamless just like it’s your true form!”

Xiao Liu angrily said “This is my true form!”

Xiang Liu stared at him, his eyes as dark as ink, and Xiao Liu’s heart started racing. He violently shook off Xiang Liu’s hand and then spread himself open like a dead pig headed to boiling water “Touch me then, touch me. After you’re done then stop accusing me of being a woman!”

Xiang Liu glared at him “I’m not interested in your false form.” He released Xiao Liu, turned and walked out of the pool to go lay on the pallet and continued healing himself.

Xiao Liu’s wildly nervous heart finally relaxed. He was already severely injured, plus Xiang Liu drank his blood, so his head was woozy and he laid down in the pool to also start healing himself.

A day later, Jing arrived nearby. Xiang Liu was still injured and a very wary person so he would never meet someone that could be a threat. When he felt Jing close to the cave, he quietly left and the injured Xiao Liu was alone in the cave when Jing came in. He saw Xiao Liu floating in the pool, face completely white, body covered in injuries, eyes closed and fast asleep.

Jing felt for his pulse and immediately picked him up, carrying him out of the cave in quick steps while calling for his winged ride.

Ten days later, Xiao Liu woke up in an elegantly decorated room. It was hot Summer out but cool inside, and through the window there was a courtyard filled with blooming flowers of every type. A wind chime hung on the window sill made from crystal from the North Pole and in various colors carved into different flower shapes. As the wind blew past, the cold from the crystal chimes released into the air and brought a breeze.

Xiao Liu put on a robe and walked out to the corridor. Jing stood up in the courtyard and looked directly at him. The bright warm sun, the vibrant flowers, and a gentleman. Like a painting, it was so utterly beautiful. Xiao Liu walked up to Jing and he reached out to touch his face as if to confirm he was real. Xiao Liu slightly leaned his head to feel the warmth of his palm.

Jing suddenly embraced Xiao Liu, gentle but tightly pulling him into his arms. Xiao Liu closed his eyes, allowing his head to lightly rest on Jing’s shoulder. In this moment, they were just Shi Qi and Xiao Liu.

Cling clank, plates crashed on the ground. Xiao Liu raised his head and saw Jing Ye standing dumbstruck in the corridor, her eyes filled with shock and dismay. Xiao Liu’s evil side rose up so he maintained his position and closed his eyes, pretending he saw and heard nothing, waiting to see how Jing would react.

Jing disappointed Xiao Liu, he was calm and continued to quietly embrace Xiao Liu. There was the feeling that even if the world was ending, he was still going keep on hugging.

Jing Ye finally moved and walked over “Is Master Liu’s injuries worsened? Let me help him stand.”

Xiao Liu guffawed out loud, she’s a funny one as well! He squirmed out of Jing’s arms and smiled at Jing Ye. She bowed to him “Thank you Young Master for saving my Lord’s life. Please accept my bow of gratitude.” Xiao Liu avoided it “Your lord saved my life so it’s even.” Xiao Liu thanked Jing “Lao Mu is waiting for me so I’ll be off.”

Xiao Liu turned and left. Jing reached out his hand but slowly pulled it back, only watching Xiao Liu’s form disappear down the corridor.

It appeared Xiao Liu was recovered but he still couldn’t use any energy and would get tired from just a little labor. But he hadn’t made any money in too long and there was a family to feed. So he couldn’t rest and rushed back to Hui Chun Clinic to see patients.

Xan Tian Er followed next to Xiao Liu and the two were surprisingly in sync. He ordered, she did, and from grabbing medicine to wrapping wounds, she did a great job. She wasn’t afraid of blood or disgusting wounds, and she was so thorough the patients all complimented her.

Xiao Liu praised “You can’t cook, you can’t mend, you can’t clean, but you are really good at seeing what people need.” Tian Er smiled wanly “Brother Liu, are you praising or insulting me?” Xiao Liu added “Seeing patients is a form of observation, I think you can learn medicine.” Tian Er raised her head and stared at Xiao Liu.

Xiao Liu added “Chuan Zi and Ma Zi followed me for 20 years but they don’t belong in this profession. I think you can do it, so if you’re willing then learn from me. I will teach you to treat infertility, and with that skill, no matter where you go you won’t starve to death.”

“Brother Liu is willing to teach me?”

“Why not? If you work, then I can retire.”

Xan Tian Er knelt down and bowed three times and choked up “Thank you, Brother Liu.”

The past always followed her and even if Chuan Zi treated her well with her life experiences she never could rely on a man completely. She was falling deeper into the life with Chuan Zi but she was at a disadvantage so she was always the one resolving any problem. Chun Tao could fight with Ma Zi and go home to her parents house. But she couldn’t, and also realized she couldn’t treat her husband like a customer for the rest of her life because that wasn’t real. She had no skills and no one to talk to, but she hid her hopelessness under her smile. Who knew someone would understand her and give her a reason to be proud in this house, to allow her to protect this family.

Xiao Liu gently said “Be good to Lao Mu. When you guys die and he’s still alive, make sure your children are good to him.” Xan Tian Er looked quizzically at Xiao Liu but he just smiled. Xan Tian Er appeared to understand a bit and she nodded solemnly. “You don’t need to worry. I will take good care of Lao Mu and Chuan Zi.”

Xuan walked into the clinic and sat down across from Xiao Liu “Giving final instructions?”

Xiao Liu went to get water and used that to control the emotions in his eyes. He said to Tian Er “Go to the field to help Chuan Zi.” Tian Er looked at Xuan and walked out.

Xiao Liu slowly drank some water before raising his head and looking at Xuan “Why are you gracing us with your presence?” Xuan paused “Why did you save me?”

Xiao Liu laughed “If you died, then the voodoo bug in you body dies. It took me a lot of work to raise that bug, I don’t want it to die.” Xuan looked at him and Xiao Liu poured him water “I kidnapped Ah Nian but didn’t hurt her and just teased her a bit. Your men tortured me and I also didn’t let you off easy. Xiang Liu used me as a trap but I saved you. Let’s consider it even, okay?”

Xuan asked “When are you removing the bug from me?” Xiao Liu thought and said “When you leave Qing Shui Town.” Xuan’s hands pressed down on the table “Why not now?”

“You have great ambitions and ought to be leaving town soon. When you leave, I’ll remove the bug. This bug has no ill effects other than when one of us hurts the other hurts. So if you don’t harm me, then you won’t hurt. This is to keep me safe.”

“Fine.” Xuan got up and left, and when he arrived at the door, he suddenly turned around “When you have time, you can come drink with me at the shop.” Xiao Liu smiled “Sure.”

Xuan raised his eyebrow and smirked “And when you’re hurt, you might want to restrain your urges.”

“………..” Xiao Liu was thoroughly confused. When did he ever have urges?

Xuan touched his neck and left with a laugh. Xiao Liu stared confused and then after some time he started to smile. Can I really go drink with you? There was a voice that told him not to, but another said that he was leaving town soon, so if not now then he’ll never get the chance again.

Winter arrived and by then Xiao Liu’s injuries were all healed. Because he was easily tired, these past few months Xiao Liu stayed inside and used the time to teach Xan Tian Er.

Tian Er earnestly learned medicine and in her busy daily life, the relationship between her and Chuan Zi slowly changed. When she first married him, she was very sensitive to things related to her past and purposely avoided it. Now she would grind medicine and sometimes hum songs she used to sing. In the past Tian Er would not nag Chuan Zi, but now if he slacked off she would yell at him. In time, Tian Er became more and more like the lady of the house.

Xiao Liu smiled to see Xan Tian Er working so hard to grab onto the littlest bit of happiness, like a bud trying to sprout in the barren earth. The desire to cling onto life is something even an observer could feel.

At dusk, snow flurries came down. It was the first snow of the year and Lao Mu warmed wine and asked Xiao Liu and Chuan Zi to drink with him. Xiao Liu remembered another invitation to drink and stared at the snow in a daze. Tian Er brought a lantern over and Chaun Zi was about to blow it out when Xiao Liu took it and left the house.

Lao Mu called out “You don’t want to drink” but Xiao Liu just waved his hand. Under the falling snow, Xiao Liu walked down the street until he was outside the wine shop. He suddenly wavered and stood outside holding the lantern. Xiao Liu turned to leave when he heard “Since you came, when not come inside?” Xuan stood in the doorway and stared at Xiao Liu.

Xiao Liu slowly turned around and smiled “I didn’t see any light so thought no one was at home.” Xuan smiled and didn’t pierce through Xiao Liu’s excuse. Xiao Liu followed behind Xuan and walked through the shop into the backyard. Who knows when Xuan planted a plum blossom tree but it blanketed the entire yard with its fragrance.

Xuan saw Xiao Liu looking at the plum blossom and said “Ah Nian wanted it so I planted it for her.”

Xiao Liu said “You sure are very good to your sister.” The same words that was once said in jest, today felt bittersweet. The two sat on a warm pallet and Xuan brought out a few dishes and warmed a brazier to heat up some wine. The door and window was open so the snow and plum blossoms fell outside creating a lovely view.

The two didn’t speak and just drank. One was still wary and didn’t feel like bullshitting, the other was restraining heartache and had no words to say.

This is a wine shop so the only thing it had in abundance was wine. The wine went down like water and Xiao Liu was starting to get drunk. He laughed “How can Ah Nian be fine with me drinking here?”

Xuan laughed “She’s a light weight. One cup and she’s gone. She’s likely dreaming a happy dream right now.”

Xiao Liu added “I can tell you are Gods, and also from a powerful family. Why come to Qing Shui Town and live the hard life?”

Xuan replied “I thought you knew the reason.”

“Kill Xiang Liu?” Xiao Liu shook his head “No, you guys don’t need to do any killing yourself if you want someone killed.”

Xuan smiled and said nothing. Xiao Liu toasted him “Tell me!”

“The real reason, even if I told anyone, no one would believe me.”

“I would believe you.”

“Then…..fine! I’ll tell you! I learned to make wine from my Master. One rare time Master got drunk, he told me a story about his youth. Back then he wasn’t the head of the household yet. He traveled the vast wilderness as an ordinary person. In a small town, he became a blacksmith living the mundane life. One day a young man came to ask him to forge a weapon. They drank as he forged and the most delicious wine promised was also the strongest. So they got drunk together, and he made the one and only true friend in his life. I remembered this story and since I was small, I wanted to try living the life of an ordinary person. Perhaps….I could meet someone who could become a true friend.”

Xuan finished and looked at Xiao Liu “Do you believe me?”

“I do!”

“Why? Don’t you think this reason is absurd?”

“I can tell that you’re telling the truth.”

Xuan sighed “But I am not my Master. I am selling wine, but I am not really living as an ordinary person.”

Xiao Liu laughed and consoled him “Everyone has their own life experiences. You experienced a lot already.”

Xuan derided “Yeah, at least my Master didn’t get a voodoo bug planted in him.”

Xiao Liu held his head and laughed “Then you need to thank me.”

Xuan asked “Why did you save me?”

Xiao Liu held the wine “I’m not drunk yet, no need to try and get information out of me.” Xuan laughed “Then I’ll wait until you’re drunk then ask.” Xiao Liu countered “Impossible.” Xuan asked “Why?”

Xiao Liu drank three cups in a row “Because I’m going to sleep” and then sprawled on the pallet and promptly fell asleep. Xuan shook him “You’ve got a high tolerance!” He closed the door and window, drank a few more cups, and laid down on the pallet and also fell asleep. In the middle of the night, he woke up and saw Xiao Liu had left already. Xuan smiled.

A few days later, the plum blossom wine Xuan made last year was ready to drink. He sold wine during the day, and that night he was so excited he took two jugs to find Xiao Liu.

Xiao Liu paused to see him but invited him in. There was no good cups in the house so Xiao Liu grabbed two bowls, some duck neck and chicken feet snacks he usually ate, and brought it over. The two drank in silence as usual. After they were done, both were slightly tipsy.

Xuan asked “Why are you here in Qing Shui Town.”

“Wandering the world, I wandered my way here. I liked it so decided to stay.”

“You and Nine-lives Xiang Liu are…..very close?” Xiao Liu thought “This question isn’t suitable to be answered when drinking.”

“Then drink a few more bowls then answer.”

Xuan poured Xiao Liu a big bowl and Xiao Liu drank it “I’m scared of him, but I don’t dislike him. I am not enemies with him, but also not friends.”

Xuan replied “He’s too smart, otherwise I really want to sit down and calmly drink with him once.”

Xiao Liu asked “You and Ah Nian…..is it really just sibling feelings between you guys?”

Xuan laughed “Now this question is suited to answer when drinking.”

Xiao Liu poured him a big bowl and Xuan gulped it down. He said nothing so Xiao Liu poured him another bowl. He gulped it down and took out a satchel from his robe. He opened it and pulled out a furry thing that looked like a snowball. He shook it and it expanded into a white fox tail “This is my little sister cousin’s precious treasure. When we were parting, she gave it to me but said it was just temporarily for me to play with. But that temporarily has become three hundred years.”

Xuan lightly stroked the white fox tail “My little sister is the daughter of my Aunt and my Master. I promised my Aunt I would take care of my little sister, but I broke my promise. When my little sister was small, she went missing. They all say she’s dead but I still have a shred of hope. I hope that she is alive and will come back to ask for this fox tail back. Ah Nian is also the daughter of my Master. I am good to her because it’s like being good to my missing sister.”

Xiao Liu appeared totally under the influence and needed to hold onto Xuan. He raised a bowl and used it to wipe away a tear. Xuan curled the fox tail back into a ball and put it into the satchel, and then tucked the satchel snugly next to his body. He poured more wine and drank with Xiao Liu.

After two jugs were finished, the two fell asleep drunk. In the middle of the night, Xiao Liu woke up to find Xuan had left. Xiao Liu couldn’t fall back asleep so laid awake until sunrise.

For the rest of the Winter, Xuan and Xiao Liu would often drink together. In the beginning, the two would shoot the breeze but after some time, Xuan really saw Xiao Liu as a friend and would even ask him how to use poisons. Xiao Liu was very honest and open with Xuan, telling him all about poisons and how to cure it and mix it. He even shared simple ways to avoid poisons. Sometimes Xiao Liu would earnestly warn him “Xiang Liu wants to kill you. Even if he can’t send soldiers to Qing Shui Town, the Sheng Nong resistance army is based near here for the past hundreds of years. You really should leave soon.”

Xuan thought they were real friends but when he wanted to get closer, Xiao Liu would pretend to be clueless.

The two appeared to be only superficial friends. When they were drunk, they could laugh. When they were sober, they were strangers.

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Lost You Forever Chapter 6: Like a Familiar Person Has Come — 84 Comments

    • Ms Koala, many thanks for introducing this book and the translation you’ve done. I have hesitate to read until your recommendation. I don’t like the ending but guess this is the best.

  1. Thanks for the lovely translations!

    Ah, friends when drunk, sober when strangers. I think what I liked most is Xan Tian Er’s pursuit of happiness — the way Tong Hua described it, that was lovely to read.

  2. Lol. XL basically have the three types of guys every women wants – the loyalist, the lover, and the soulmate, now only if they can mesh into one.

  3. Really really love this story. Thanks for introducing me to my first chinese novel, koala. I wonder if there’s any korean or japanese novel as entrancing and thought provoking as Lost You Forever.

    • The first volume has 17, second has 16, and I think the third volume has around the same amount of chapters with just a few more. Don’t worry there’s a long way to go! A long time to enjoy the journey and to appreciate it, if you haven’t already been obsessing over it like I am hehe. Thanks koala – hope you can sense the weighty gratitude of that!

  4. I wonder if Xuan knows that Xiao Liu is not in his true form? and I guess that he doesn’t know that XL’s father isn’t his master?(I read a summary of ‘Once Promised’) so that’s why she didn’t tell him? and also, they’re not really related? I have so many questions about Xuan lol but this chapter is nice. More and more I can grab my ideas on the characters. The 3 male leads are so different even in their dynamic with XL. Shiqi/Jing is so restraint that I start feeling frustrated for him, cause I want to be on his ship! At this point, it’s hard to tell if XL has or even can develop feelings for him later. since they hardly see each other and there’s Xiangling, and xuan. argh. Myself is trying to resist Xiangling, i think it’s safe to say he’s interested in XL, in his true form or whatever he said lol Though like you mentioned, i have impression he doesn’t even try to show that he does care for her. But i think soon or later she’ll see, it often happens like that between a OTP so..yep. Btw, is it me or he didn’t just bite her neck ,suck blood every time, cause as revealed in this chapter, i think he did more, XL was just oblivious hehe

    • With the bug in xuan, and he can feel everything that XL feels. It will be pure toture to the tenth power when he can feel xiangling giving XL love bites. It’s one thing to be joulous by seeing the bites (SQ), and quite another when u can actually feel the bite and how she feels when it’s happening bc evidently she likes it 😉 .but that also means that XL may feel guilty later on if xiangling continues. All I can say is “Girl! Don’t resist!!!”

      • Skyblu – What? Divorced? Can you please clarify that a bit more? Or is that considered a spoiler? 🙂

        Also, is A’Heng dead at this time, and if so, how?

    • It doesn’t matter who Xiao Liu’s real dad is in terms of how she is related to Xuan. He said it already in this chapter – his little sister cousin is his Auntie’s daughter. Xiao Liu’s mom is Xuan Yuan Ba, the Crown Princess of Xuan Yuan and Xuan’s dad is Xuan Yuan Chang Yi the Xuan Yuan 4th Prince. Ergo – Xiao Liu and Xuan are first cousins because her mom is his dad’s younger sister.

      • Koala, there is something I been meaning to ask you about this chapter…if Xuan is the oldest grandson of the Yellow Emperor like XL said, is Xuan like the crown prince? Or something like “the next one in line for the throne”? How powerful is he exactly?

      • Xuan is both powerful as the grandson of the Xuan Yuan Yellow Emperor, and powerless since he’s pretty much been de facto exiled to Gao Xing.

        The Xuan Yuan Yellow Emperor had 10 kids. All sons except for the youngest daughter Xuan Yuan Ba who is Xiao Liu’s mom. Xuan’s dad is the 4th son.

        In the story so far, both Xiao Yao and Xuan have alluded to many of their relatives being dead. In Once Promised, the most rocks falls down ending EVER, 10 out of the 12 main characters end up dead by the end of the novel. Many of the main leads in Once Promised are Xuan Yuan princes. So right now in Lost You Forever, the Yellow Emperor has lost many of his sons and daughter (including Xuan’s dad and Xiao Liu’s mom), but still has a handful left.

        So Xuan has a few uncles still alive, and as the grandson of the Yellow Emperor he’s not the crown prince or anywhere near in line for the throne since there are still sons of the Yellow Emperor still alive. But in the battle for power, Xuan can conceivably take out his remaining uncles and win the throne. But in terms of power, right now he’s nothing, a prince in title only.

      • Hi koala. So who are the remaining uncles who Xuan has to vie for the throne? And are the other uncles close to A’Heng? Because they are the ones who forced Huang Di to exile Xuan to Gao Xin.

      • Thank you, Koala! for your thorough and detailed explanation! Much more than I ask for!;) It’s great! I understand Xuan situation a little bit better now.
        Just one more question, sorry for asking you so much!
        But is Ah Nian then XL’s step-sister? How are they related? Does XL knows he/she has a somewhat sister? What are their sisters dynamic when XL was younger? Personally, I would love to see XL have a cute little sister who XL can talk to and care for!:) Is this just false hope? haha

      • From the references in LYF, I think XL is Chi You and A’Heng’s daughter, but she is acknowledged as A’Heng and Jun Di (Shao Hao aka Ah Nian’s father). When XL was young, A’Heng divorced Jun Di, so she never really knew Ah Nian. Ah Nian is Jun Di and another woman’s daughter, so there is no actual blood relation. But to the characters, they are sisters with the same father but different mothers.

      • Skyblu – What? Divorced? Can you please clarify that a bit more? Or is that considered a spoiler? 🙂

        Also, is A’Heng dead at this time, and if so, how?

      • thank you!! that makes sense! it’s a bit saddening though. XL only have Xuan as the last caring relative left:(

      • I don’t think it’s really a spoiler since this all happened in Once Promised. I didn’t finish that, so I can only explain from the references the characters make later in LYF. A’Heng and Jun Di were married to further the Xuan Yuan-Gao Xin/Qing Yang-Jun Di alliance. But there wasn’t any real love between them in the beginning. In the end, A’Heng gave Jun Di a divorce letter and left Gao Xin. (It was very scandalous, even if she was a princess.) She returned to Xuan Yuan where Xuan and XL grew up together.

  5. oh btw, I was thinking about the drama, what if they cast Hu Ge again, as Shi Qi. cause heck i think he’ll be perfect. But I read that Shi Qi and his character in Da Mo Yao are similar (I haven’t read DMY) so probably not? plus if Shi Qi has same fate/ending as the other then :'(
    Do you have anyone in mind for other cast?

    • I don’t know if I would watch it even with all the pretty eye candies… Dramas never does the book or our imagination justice. It’s a good thing I grew up with old tvb wuxu dramas – ill let my mind do the imagination

  6. This chapter was hard to read as Xiao Liu was gravely injured. Sometimes I wish she would just leave as she keeps on getting hurt needlessly.

    Both Xuan and Xiang are in the doghouse for the messed up shit they’ve done to Xiao Liu. I don’t think you need to be patient to call out the shitty stuff they did even if they have their reasons. I mean it was unnecessary to throw her neck on the stone just because you can’t control your temper.
    I’m interested to see how the author redeems them.

    Anyway, love Shi Qi/Jing, always there in the shadows waiting to help, willing to do anything she asks, loving her from afar and never asking for anything. Why can’t they be the OTP?

      • yea it’s only a few chapters and the heroine has been injured so many times. granted she’s a man now but it doesn’t justify the violence. I’m pretty sure Xiangliu and Xuan will redeem/change later but right now I’m already sitting on Shiqi ship. Unless for some reason he’ll change or become evil, which i pray to god not. I can’t take such cliche anymore.

  7. Swoon.. This story is so good it made me de-lurk. I love every chapter. What? Only 17 chapters in book 1??! Can’t it be forever like the title goes. But why can’t Xiao Liu reveal herself to her beloved gege.. Yeah so her cover will be blown.. I thought her gege is more important than that.. Can it be that she doesn’t want to go back to her old life, and would much rather continue her life as a wanderer? Mysterious.. Patience, patience, more will be revealed at the right time. Self talking, oops..

  8. Did anyone get all chocked up when you read the hugging scene between XL and ShiQi?
    I think I hold my breath while reading it haha…the scene was so naturally beautiful!
    There is absolutely no way XL doesn’t like ShiQi just as much as he likes XL.
    I’m all for ShiQi, but I feel like the more I read… the more my ship is wavering by Xuan.
    Argggghh…..

    • The moment Shiqi said ‘I’m going to think it’s you, i’m willing to carry you’ i was sold lol maybe because Xiangliu has started by being violent to XL so much and i hate it when the male lead treats the female lead badly, in any form, be it verbally or physically. But because everyone knows they’re the OTP so they root for them. Here we don’t know yet so yep I’m just gonna say no to violence. On other hand, I’m secretly looking forwards to Shiqi & XL scenes which are very little atm 🙁 and it’d been the same pattern, Shiqi taking care of XL when the latter is hurt, all while being forever passive. I’m afraid if it isn’t a sign that they just can’t be, because of missed opportunities and whatnot.

  9. I can’t believe how much this story affects me when I read it. That is the power of Tong Hua’s lyrical writing. Subconsciously I feel XL’s pain and sadness so inherently that after reading this chapter, my heart continues to feel heavy even though I know it’s just a story. Wow, even with my eyes wide open, she still got me emotionally. I truly regret not being able to read this book in its native language. I can’t imagine what I’m missing out on because of things lost in translation.

  10. Thank you for introducing me to this beautiful story. I’ve finally finished the book and the ending is so heart wrenching and made me cry so hard.
    My ship sailed but towards the ending I pretty much jumped over to a sinking ship, and my heart sank with it. It’s past 2 am here and I still can’t sleep and keep on replaying the scenes in my head, can’t wait for the drama to come out!

  11. Thank you for working so hard to translate for us readers. I marathoned the book after you posted the 2nd chapter (staying up until 4AM for several days in a row was definitely a bad idea) and it was so heartbreaking. You were right, it is the journey that makes the destination. Even through all the tragedies that life threw at them, our characters are happy.

    I go through tissues like crazy when there are references to Once Promised. I couldn’t finish Once Promised because the body count was so high and I couldn’t bear to watch the characters I love die. But the few references I do understand made me feel better. Even though it has been thousands of years, Shao Hao still enjoyed those years with Qing Yang. Although, it’s not necessary to read Once Promised to understand Lost You Forever, it makes everything sweeter. Similar to how it’s possible to read Yun Zhong Ge without reading Da Mo Yao, but the references are so welcome and heartwarming.

    I love Tong Hua’s characters, they develop and grow so much. The Yellow Emperor of Once Promised and the Yellow Emperor of Lost You Forever are so different, but deep down he is still the same, he just has a new perspective. The Xuan of Qing Shui town and the Zhuan Xu of the end are different because of their experiences, but they both deeply care for Xiao Yao.

    She is also excellent at drawing parallels to her other characters. Shi Qi, Meng Jiu, and Liu Fu Ling are part of the same archetype, the loyal, patient and warm-hearted beloved, but they are so distinct from one another.

    It’s always funny to get other people’s point of view of our main characters. Jing Ye thinks that Jing and Xiao Liu might have a gay romance, and is scandalized. Xuan is just weirded out that he may have to share sensations with a hedonist (who else would be having intimate relations while injured?)

    Although I would like to ask, what are society’s view on incest? Also, when did Shao Hao love Ah Heng?

    • There is no incest when its marriage among first cousins back then. Even in Western society first cousin marriage was fine until the modern era. Most royal lineages intermarried through cousins to keep the bloodlines intact and forge tighter political alliances. Xuan and Xiao Yao are fine, the question isn’t whether they are allowed to love in a romantic way (they are) but whether they do feel that way about each other.

      Shao Hao and Ah Heng? Shao Hao fell in love with Ah Heng much too late. I would guess it was when Qi Yo was injured for those two hundred years and healing in the Great North that it happened. It was definitely after they got married, but before Ah Heng had Xiao Yao. By the time Xiao Yao was born, Shao Hao already realized his mistake and that he made the wrong choice.

      他想起了他们成婚后,第一次开诚布公,定下盟约时,也是一个月色皎洁的夜晚,那一夜,他也是一夜无眠。

      He remembered their wedding night and the official announcement and then when they made their pact. It was also a moonlit night, and he was also sleepless the entire night.

        如果时光能倒流,再给他一次选择的机会,他的选择会是什么?

      If time would be reversed and she gave him the choice again, what would he choose?

        “是王子妃,还是你的妻子?”

      “Shall I be the Prince’s consort? Or your wife?”

        “妻子就是一生一世的唯一。”

      “Your wife means the one and only in your entire life.”

        阿珩清脆娇俏的声音似乎仍响在耳畔,可是他已经不能再回答一遍。

      “Ah Heng’s clear and sweet voice reverberated in his ear, but he could no longer answer again.”

      Shao Hao’s feelings for Ah Heng may be real, but I was always most touched by the bromance between Shao Hao and Qing Yang. In fact, I would say Qing Yang was the star of volume 1 of Once Promised. I almost quit the novel after what happened to him midway through. I love my Crown Prince Qing Yang! *sniffles*

      • Qing Yang and Shao Hao’s bromance was very epic and touching. In this large world, they met each other without any obligations and rules. They were friends first and allies after. Qing Yang’s death was heartbreaking. I couldn’t really forgive Yellow Emperor for doing that, it is logical for an emperor to kill any who can threaten him, but Qing Yang was his favorite and most capable son. From what I do remember, Qing Yang changed his mind and Yellow Emperor acted to soon. Xiao Yao was right, an Emperor is like the sun, from far away you can grow strong and safe, but too close and you burn.

        Tong Hua likes emphasizing that even if you are the Emperor and can seemingly control all, there are choices that are beyond his power. Sometimes, he has to use the people he can, even if it ruins his relationship with them. The Yellow Emperor of LYF definitely eased my distaste of him in OP.

        Tong Hua always make me wonder about how these characters would have been in an ordinary world, where they aren’t enemies across a battlefield. Xiao Yao and Zhuan Xu could have grown up happily on Mt. Xuan Yuan being doted upon by A’Heng, Chi You, Chang Yi, Chang Pu, Qing Yang, and Lei Zhu, instead of the palace fighting. But it is chaos that breeds great heroes, and the world always need heroes. I am grateful that even if the characters can’t have happy, untroubled experiences, they at least have wonderful childhoods.

      • Also, thank you for the explanation.

        Sometimes, I feel sad that Xiao Liu is so lonely. She is happy in Qing Shui town, living day to day with her human family, but to the gods, a human lifetime is but a blink of an eye. If she stays longer, she would have to watch all her friends die and find new companionship. I am almost glad that she will be forced to leave, because staying there would break her heart.

      • One of the reasons I love Zhuan Xu so so much and understand where he’s coming from is because he embodies both Qing Yang and Chang Yi. He is Chang Yi and Chang Pu’s son, and he looks like his father Chang Yi, but even the Yellow Emperor can see that Zhuan Xu is really the spitting image of Zhuan Xu’s uncle Qing Yang. Ah Heng would understand Zhuan Xu as well, probably more than even Xiao Yao. I loved all the siblings in Once Promised. The romance burned hotter there but the blood ties were devastating.

      • The Xuan Yuan family is scary in how loyal they are to each other. Lei Zhu definitely raised her children well. Yellow Emperor was a good father up until he got his throne. After that, he has his good days, bad days, and really bad days. But for them, family trumps everything. They would and did do everything they could for family.

        I remember that one scene in Once Promised when one of Yellow Emperor’s other son was fighting with Chang Yi (or maybe Qing Yang) and it flashed back to their happy childhood. It was awful to see how power and ambition has changed these people. But Qing Yang, Chang Yi, and A’Heng’s devotion to each other cannot be doubted.

        Zhuan Xu is Chang Yi’s son, but he is more like Qing Yang. He can’t follow his parents’ philosophy on love, because he has to be an Emperor. An Emperor must put his people first, and he does. (The jiang shan mei ren choice gets to me every single time.) Perhaps, it is a good thing, everything, even love, in excess is not good. After all, Chang Pu abandoned him to follow Chang Yi in death.

    • Now that I’ve finished Lost You Forever and knows pretty much how Once Promised ended, will it be less painful to read? I’m tempted because I’m super curious about Chi You and his back story, but not sure if I can handle more heart breaks after Lost You Forever.

  12. Thank you for another chapter. Have been refreshing your site like an addict.
    So Xiao Liu seems to like it when bitten, and Xiang not just sucks the blood but also kisses XL.
    And why doesn’t XL reveal to Xuan he/she’s the one he is looking for?
    More questions….and the wait and anticipation for next chapter starts already…

    • I think Xuan is telling Xiao Liu to refrain from sexual activities while injured, because after the pain, there was “the shivering feeling of bliss, as if someone was sucking, and licking, and lightly kissing.” Which from his perspective sounds like someone was giving Xiao Liu a hickey.

  13. LOL if they’re filming these scenes they have to dress the female lead up to be a man but it wouldn’t be accurate cause xiao liu’s disguise should be perfect and it would be obvious to the viewers that XL is female. however, it would be hilarious for them to hire a man to play this part and have xiang liu suck on his neck so its true to the story haha

    • LOL! At first I thought they would just get the main actress to dress up as the guy Xiao Liu for the beginning of the story. Then… I realise the fact is, Xiao Liu doesn’t even look like Xiao Yao, so I guess they will have to cast someone else as the real Xiao Yao later onz…

      • LOL I thought of the same thing! Imagine all the sweet and sexy moments played by two actors, I suppose they could go for a more effeminate looking actor, it’d be hilarious if they get a tough looking guy to play Xiao Liu.

      • Yuvee, I can’t reply to your post, so I replied to mine instead. Actually in my mind, Xiao Liu is kinda a rough looking guy. But oh well, Xiang Liu is effeminate enough… kekeke.

  14. THANK YOU!!!

    Quick question: Xiao Liu picked up a fox tail and realized Xuan’s identity, but was that just a random fox tail? I thought it was Xuan’s when he fell into the forest, but he still has his on him…

  15. It would even be possible a man with all these qualities? I read and reread several times, I’m really loving it. Thank you for the chapter. *-*

  16. I think I’ve read enough to board a ship now. Given these choices (lead men):

    1) XL finding unconditional love

    2) XL finding love without reason; another weirdo to bond with in a way that others can’t understand

    3) XL finding fated love – like those kdramas where kids form bonds that stick for life

    I totally choose TWO (2) all the way!! I love how she and Xiang Liu just click despite their actions. They give each other no reason to like each other but they just make each other feel better ya?

      • That unconditional love can turn into an obsession – I would like 3 with a mix of 2 😉

    • I like passionate, fiery, full of sexual tension romance like many but for once I’d love to see a happy peaceful one. I think it’s no less beautiful. (doesn’t help with the way Tong Hua writes Shiqi, practically my ideal type, silent, protective and unwavering attention towards the girl. sadly also the typical second male lead)
      The fated love from childhood is overrated in dramas tbh. I used to like it when i was young, but now i avoid it if i can. lol

      • Oh but xuan us different… There’s something refreshing about him guys! You’ll see. And I love all three equally. Gah

  17. Anyone have an audio link so I can listen to the chapters? because my chinese definitely is not good enough to read this and im desperate since i love this novel so much. this is the first chinese book I’ve ever attempted to read because it is just that great.

  18. Koala, you keep posting those mystical beautiful images to accompany your translation post. They’re so pretty I cannot imagine any perfect human being to portray them in real-life dramas! I dunno… after some cracking of brains, I can only allow the Korean Noh Min Woo to be a Xiang Liu… but even that seems to be something off. I dunno enough young China actors to put my imagination across.

    Btw, I am nearing half of the 2nd book, and already spoiled myself wit the ending. The dynamics sure took a huge turn in book 2. I know I cannot spoil things here. Wish there is a thread or someplace to discuss the whole 3 books in detail!!! >.<

  19. now i get to know Xuan better after read this chapter and now i’m getting confused to choose the man. first, i like Xiang Liu, he may be weird and vilent but i love him. but after i read this chapter i think i’m falling in love with Xuan too. I can’t imagine his feeling when he knows XL is Xiao Yao.
    Thank you Koala, you give me a chance to read such a beatiful novel.

  20. XL went missing for 300 years, 30-40 of those urs she was captured by the fox ( I thinking its a fox) and given she is at this town for another 20-30 yrs… That still left over 200 year unaccounted for. I doubt being captured was the only part of her totorous past… I hope we find

  21. Even this sounds like a broken tape, once again I want to said thank you koala for translating this lovely wonderful book.

    I loooove Xiao Liu as male character and hope he won’t change after he turn into his real self.
    When Xiao Liu tell Xan Tian Er, he want to teaching her to be doctor, I’m choked together with Xan Tian Er.
    He really give her not only second chance but entire new wonderful life with job and family.
    I love how Tong Hua describing Xan Tian Er’s life story. Sound simple, without grand stroke but warm and hopeful.

    Aaaaah! I’m become greedy. After get one, I’m immediately want another chapter.

  22. Seriously Koala, I would like to get ahead of myself, and ask for your opinion. Why do you think the book comes with the poster but the ending is such? Doesn’t it mean that ‘xxx’ is the main lead, and that resonates with the title? Recall that the moon theme and sea are all over the place too… 🙁

    • Xiao Yao loves all three men, and all three men love her. Period. Don’t get too wound up on who is the male lead, or who is in the poster, etc. This novel is more than that.

      But if you must know, Tong Hua is the person to ask who the male lead is. She has said publicly that the male lead is Zhuan Xu. He has the most page time of the male leads and his story is parallel with Xiao Yao’s.

      Once again, the male lead may nor may not be the one she ends up with, and may or may not be the one she loves the most. She may end up with the one she doesn’t love the most. Right? Or she may end up with the perfect one for her. Yes?

      I have my own analysis of which guy she loves the most, and which guy loves her the most. I’ll share all that at the end.

      • I agree. The male lead is Zhuan Xuan and from reading the story so far (6 chapters) and references from “Once Promised”, Xuan lost Xao Yao 300 years ago and will lose her to someone else at the end, hence it’s the title of the book, “Lost you forever”. I might be wrong since I only read 6 chapters thus far.

      • Agree. I believe that Xiao Yao will be happy 幸福 ,no matter who she ends up because all three men loves her so deeply in their own ways. There are such fierce shipping wars out there in the chinese forum and understandably so. Who can resist all these awesome males that Tong Hua has so immaculately created. Though I have to praise her writings this time. Subtle with hints that makes it all the more interesting. Like its hilarious how Xuan can actually feel the erotic sensation of xiang lu sucking xiao liu’s blood, and thats probably the real sensation she felt but yet tried to dismiss it.

  23. I’m absolutely loving Xiao Liu’s journey.

    In chapter 3, Koala said that Shi Qi sees Xiang Liu’s bites as kisses and that is very telling. I wanted to know if they really look like hickeys meaning Xiang Liu WAS kissing Xiao Liu from the start or its only Shi Qi who sees them like that because he is jealous of Xiang Liu?

    I also wanted to know how people’s views were in these pre historic times about gay relationships. Was it acceptable or was it a taboo and unacceptable?

    This book is driving me nuts. I cannot wait for more.

  24. I know it’s way tooo early to think about casting, but as soon as I read the part about Xiang Liu attacking Xuan with 5-claws, I automatically thought of Yuan Hong in The Condor Heroes as Yang Kang.

    Thanks SO MUCH for sharing this beautiful story with us, Koala. I can’t wait for the next chapter.

  25. After reading Chang xiang si, i have this thought and feeling of envy for Xiao Yao, Xuan and Jing. Its like they can take it slow, everything in their world seems to be work out in decades and a matter of years are a short time for them. Yet for us human, we are so constantly caught up in the rat race of making things happen for us. Constantly impatient, constantly rushing through life rather then savoring it. I cant help but wonder if we really have the luxury or curse of living a life of thousand years old, what will it be like? At the same time, it also really draws my attention to how fast a human hours and time passes by. The story did make me appreciate how much life is about right now. That loving and cherishing your love ones is all that matters.

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