Lost You Forever Chapter 10: Who Knows Your Sorrow

I’m having such a great time translating Lost You Forever and am loving all the great discussion in the comments section of each chapter. Those asking what they can do to in thanks for my taking on this translation project? Comment more and go ahead and share your thoughts, that makes the hard work worth it for me knowing I’m spreading the enjoyment around. Chapter 9 was a very heavy chapter to read as we finally get Xiao Yao’s back story of how she became Wen Xiao Liu living in Qing Shui Town. She has revealed bits and pieces to Xiang Liu before, but this is the first time she shared the entire experience and she did so with her beloved cousin Zhuan Xu and her confidante Jing. Too bad Xiang Liu wasn’t around to make it a party, but I’m going to say her interactions with Xiang Liu strike the balance of never being able to see the light. She can take Jing and Zhuan Xu home to meet her dad if she wants either guy, but I don’t think introducing daddy to her push and pull buddy is going to fly over so well. I loved how the Grand Emperor met Jing and then promptly asked if he was engaged and left poor Jing sweating bullets. Xiao Yao might be a Princess and her future not always up to her own choice, but it’s pretty clear those around her want to do what they can to make her happy. Her dad is carrying on hundreds of years of guilt, and Zhuan Xu operates on the same wavelength as Xiao Yao which is that they always put each other’s wants first. Xiao Yao isn’t quite back to being a Princess yet, not until there is a way to reveal her true face, but it’s nice that she’s finally stopped running and is home at last. Even if her home isn’t all peace and quiet these days with angry little sister Ah Nian around, but I feel like Xiao Yao loves these little distractions and conflicts because it beats being lonely and left alone. That is what struck me about her and Xiang Liu, that a part of her liked his picking on her from the very beginning, while the other half enjoys the mundane existence of Xiao Liu.

Chapter 10 – Who Knows Your Sorrow:

Ah Nian came to Hua Yin Court to find Zhuan Xu and saw he wasn’t there. She saw Xiao Liu soaking her hands in healing water and rushed forward to upend the bowl.

Xiao Liu leaned back and rested her legs on the table, looking at Ah Nian with a crooked smile and not a care in the world.

Ah Nian glared at him, from head to toe, from toe to head, she couldn’t see a single thing that made this dirt bag any good. Last night she went to complain to her daddy and told him all about Xiao Liu’s various crimes but her daddy instead said Xiao Liu never intended to hurt her so she should stop being mad at him. She was so upset and told him about how Xiao Liu felt her up all over. She thought her daddy would fly into a rage but not only wasn’t he angry, he seemed oddly amused and comforted her “In a little while later, I will announce something and this won’t bother you anymore.”

When Ah Nian left her daddy’s residence, she thought about what he said and how could a woman not be bothered that a man felt her up? That would only be…..if that man became her husband.

Ah Nian felt like she was going crazy! She kept telling herself it was impossible, it could never be! But……he was her royal father, an Emperor who didn’t care about birth and elevated to high positions people who had talent. After he became Emperor, he never named an Empress even though the entire Gao Xing court was against him. He never picked a wife from the Gao Xing noble families and instead brought her mother from a remote village where she was a servant and made her his consort. It was clearly possible that he would marry Ah Nian to a low born commoner.

Ah Nian thought all night about it and rushed to see Zhuan Xu gege to ask him for help, but all she saw was Xiao Liu.

When did Xiao Liu move into Hua Yin Court? How come she knew nothing about it? Why would Zhuan Xu allow Xiao Liu to live in his residence? Did Zhuan Xu agree with what her dad wanted……. Yes, yes! Zhuan Xu was very respectful of her dad, so if her dad wanted…..then Zhuan Xu gege would support it.

Ah Nian glared at Xiao Liu as her face reflected all her changing thoughts. She was alternatively gritting her teeth and then almost bursting into tears. Xiao Liu cocked her head and stared, completely baffled why this chit was acting like this today.

Xiao Liu waved at Ah Nian “Hey, are you okay?”

Ah Nian’s hands balled into a fist and she hollered “I am NOT OKAY!”

Xiao Liu glanced at her fists “Don’t use force, today if you use force then I’ll return it.”

Ah Nian wandered around the yard back and forth thinking of what to do. Beat Xiao Liu to death? But there were servants all around, and there was a strange man lurking near the windows. With her daddy and Zhuan Xu’s smarts, there was no way she would succeed here.

Ah Nian sat down across from Xiao Liu and angrily spit out “Let me say it now – I will never marry you! If you marry me, I will fight with you every day! I will make every day a living hell for you! I will eventually beat you to death!”

Xiao Liu was totally confused “I never thought about marrying you!”

Ah Nian was delighted “Really?”

“Of course!”

“But I’m a Princess!”

“It’s because you’re a Princess that I don’t want to marry you!”

Ah Nian didn’t understand why Xiao Liu said that but she was just happy he didn’t want to marry her. She said “If you act even worse then my royal father will not approve of you. He’ll dislike you, so keep on doing that and I’ll forgive you and stop trying to punish you.”

Xiao Liu laughed “Sure, I guarantee your dad won’t make you marry me.”

“You promise?”

Xiao Liu raised her hand and solemnly sweared “I promise that the Grand Emperor will never marry the Princess to me, otherwise I’ll die a thousand deaths!”

Ah Nian was relieved and then leaned in to whisper “In a few days will be Little Zhu Rong’s Autumn Tournament held once every ten years. It allows the young people to socialize and also show their talents. All the powerful families in the vast wilderness will be in attendance. Daddy likes you and will send you there to meet people. At that time, I’ll work with you and help you disappoint him.”

Xiao Liu was a bit taken back. Ah Nian really was the daughter of an imperial family. She appeared innocent and clueless but since she was small she was absorbing the politics in the world. She knew the youths sent by the powerful families to the Autumn Tournament was someone powerful and would be the future family and clan leaders. If a person upset those people, then no matter how talented, one’s future was limited. The Grand Emperor would never let such a person have an important position so this was a great strategy.

Xiao Liu looked at Ah Nian “You’re very smart but lack some polishing. If you endure hardship then it’ll polish you so that you can become of great use.” Ah Nian had no need to fight for power or to struggle for survival so she didn’t care whether she was of any use so Xiao Liu chuckled.

Ah Nian gave Xiao Liu a warning glare “Don’t you dare like me!”

Xiao Liu immediately retorted “I will never like you!”

Ah Nian huffed “Then we’re agreed. If my daddy won’t send you then I’ll fight for you to go, so don’t forget your promise!”

Shi Qi stood under the awning to avoid Ah Nian and after she left he came over “You really want to go to Little Zhu Yen’s Autumn Tournament?”

Xiao Liu nodded “Zhuan Xu will go so I want to go with him. Before my dad announces me officially, before things completely change around me, I want to sneak in some last bit of freedom and fun.”

“Are you very close with Zhuan Xu?”

Xiao Liu answered “I’ve never thought about whether we’re close or not. We fought as kids, we argued as kids, I called him Gege when I was happy, I called him Zhuan Xu when I wasn’t. We played together, we laughed together, we ate from the same rice bowl, we slept under the same blanket. When I saw him hurt I wanted the pain to fall on me. When I saw others mock him I was in so much pain for him. Gege’s suffered a lot all these years, his parents both died when he was small, and later my Mom raised him. After my Mom died in battle he was all alone, and when he was still small his various royal uncles all forced him to Gao Xing. Xuan Yuan is his homeland but there is no support for him there. He appears to be doing well in Gao Xing living as a Prince, but he’s been exiled here and even the maids can look down on him. They think he survives by the grace of the Grand Emperor. We’ve been apart for far too long so I don’t exactly what he’s endured, but right now all I want to do is spend more time with him.”

“Do you wish to stay here by their side?”

“I’m willing to spend time with them. But I’m lazy now and don’t want to be the Gao Xing Eldest Princess. But knowing my dad, my grandfather, Zhuan Xu’s personality……even Ah Nian that clueless one knows that it’s pointless to go up against them.” Xiao Liu sighed “If I didn’t reappear it would be fine, but I’m here now so they will never allow me to return to being Wen Xiao Liu. I ran away before not because I was angry at them, it was also because I knew that once I returned to my real identity, it would be harder to leave here than to ascend to the Heavens.”

Shi Qi looked at Xiao Liu “A person cannot choose their birth, even if we are unwilling, we must accept it.”

Shi Qi smiled warmly, a clear and gentle smile “If a heart is like a clean moon, even in the darkened clouds it will pass and the moon will return.”

Xiao Liu pointed to her heart and asked half in jest half serious “But if the lady’s heart is tainted, then will my lord’s heart be clear like the moon and shine it on the lady’s heart.”

Zhuan Xu walked in “What are you guys talking about? I heard Ah Nian came by, did she pick a fight with you?”

Xiao Liu laughed “No, we had a good talk.”

Zhuan Xu apologized “Master already sent word to Grandfather and to the Royal Mother. You know your identity is very special so Master will need to discuss with Grandfather, and also get the Royal Mother’s agreement, before making the official proclamation to the world. So for now your identity will remain concealed.”

Xiao Liu yelped “Royal Mother! That old witch! And that smelly bird Lie Yang, and idiot Ah Bi! Lie Yang will kill me!”

Zhuan Xu scolded her “Stop with the nonsense! Even Grandfather is respectful to the Royal Mother! Also Ah Bi has now evolved into human form and he is called Sir Bi so when you see him be respectful.”

Xiao Liu remembered her childhood on Jade Mountain. Lie Yang was a demon bird that looked like a phoenix. His human form was that of a ten year old boy but he didn’t like to take his human form. He had a terrible personality and every time she slacked off during training he would viciously peck her and chase her all over the peach blossom forest. Ah Bi was a winged fox demon but had not yet trained to evolve into human form back then. He was very smart and very gentle. Every time Lie Yang would peck her he would save her. After so many years apart, Ah Bi now had a human form, and she wondered if Lie Yang had grown taller.

Back then she was too small, she didn’t know any better. She felt that the Royal Mother and Lie Yang were so mean. Later when she used her powers to survive was when she realized what they were trying to teach her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go back to Jade Mountain, and perhaps they wouldn’t mind that she was a face changing little monster, but by the time she decided to go back she had been captured and shoved in a cage and tortured for the next 30 years. She lost all her spiritual powers and knew she could no longer go back. She could only continue to wander.

Xiao Liu asked “Will Lie Yang and Sir Bi come?”

Zhuan Xu said “If the Royal Mother tells them, they will of course come.”

Xiao Liu sighed “With so much time passed, I’m both excited and scared about the reunion.”

Zhuan Xu rapped her on the head “When did you get so maudlin? Master wants to dine together tonight. I told him all about what happened to you.”

That night the Grand Emperor came to dine with them at Hua Yin Court and Shi Qi was included. This time Xiao Liu summoned all her proper manners to dine, but even back then she was never a right and proper lady plus with two hundred years passed, she pretty much forgot all her etiquette and was awkward all over.

Shi Qi assisted and provided reminders from time to time, whereas Zhuan Xu was totally hands off and sat by with a big smile waiting to watch Xiao Liu screw up. Xiao Liu pouted angrily “You’re just like when we were kids, you’re still a mean older brother!”

Zhuan Xu’s eyes flashed a moment of desolation, but then he laughed “If I’m not picking on you, then who shall I pick on?”

The Grand Emperor smiled “Don’t worry, just eat like you normally do.”

Xiao Liu smiled sweetly “Daddy is the best.” She slumped forward and pulled her sleeves up. After dinner, the Grand Emperor asked Xiao Liu to stroll with him and the two headed out towards Qi Qing Garden.

Qi Qing Garden had an abundance of water, flora, and exotic animals. Legend has it that the previous Grand Emperor loved strolling here the most. Xiao Liu remembered her mother bringing her here often to play. Sometimes staying the entire day, Xiao Liu playing in the water and fighting with the various animals while her Mom read. The entire Cheng En Palace was too big and many places she had never been to before. The two places she was most familiar with was her mom’s residence Cue Xing Court and here in Qi Qing Garden.

Xiao Liu strolled here and felt her nose getting twitchy and her eyes tearing up. It was exactly the same as in her memory and it was just like yesterday she was playing here.

They passed a pavilion and Xiao Liu suddenly rushed in and inspected a post and saw squiggly jagged lines carved on there. She excitedly cried out “Daddy, look! My drawing is still here!”

“And this! This is still here, too!” There were three lines scratched on the past where Xiao Liu stood against it years ago and her dad marked her height. She crowed back then that she would grow taller than her dad until he could’t mark the place for her.

The pavilion had been renovated many times but these doodles were carefully preserved.

The Grand Emperor kneeled with a smile “This was your greatest handiwork, and you told me that I had to keep it forever.”

Xiao Liu suddenly embraced the Grand Emperor, even if they had already reunited, she still didn’t feel like she had come home until now. Now she finally felt like she had come home.

Xiao Liu’s tear tumbled down and the Grand Emperor patted her on the pat, he didn’t comfort her and just let her cry, to let her cry out a few hundred years worth of hurt and pain.

Xiao Liu cried and cried, seemingly really going to cry three hundred years worth of tears. Finally she felt like it was too much and started hiccuping “Normally I’m not a crybaby.”

The Grand Emperor said “No need to feel bad, it’s my failing. A daughter’s tears is a father’s lacking.”

Xiao Liu stopped crying and asked him to measure her height again. He marked a slash above her head and said “You grew and grew, but you didn’t grow so tall that your dad can’t mark your height.”

Xiao Liu stuck out her tongue and then stared at the line with her face crestfallen “I don’t even know if this is my true height. I feel like everything is false.” When she told Zhuan Xu what happened, she tried to act nonchalant as if she was used to having no face. But now her true fear emerged.

The Grand Emperor touched her forehead and gradually a small peach blossom birthmark appeared in the middle. He said “You’re face changing is not some weird disease. It’s because you have a magical spiritual object in your body called the Face Forming Flower. It can allow a person to imprint any face.”

Xiao Liu asked quizzically “A spiritual object? I don’t have a disease? The object causes my face to change at will? But why does my body have this spiritual object? Her face suddenly lit up “Does that mean if the object is removed, then my true face will emerge? I can become my real self then?”

“Yes.”

Xiao Liu was so happy “Dad, take it out for me! I hate transforming and would rather that I was a freakishly ugly girl than be a fake beauty.”

The Grand Emperor’s hand caressed the peach blossom birthmark and it glowed a red aura. Back then it required the spiritual power of two Gods, himself and Xiao Yao’s mother, to seal it in Xiao Yao’s body. It would need the spiritual power of two Gods now to remove it. “Right now I can’t remove it but dad promises that I will help you find your true face.”

Xiao Liu wanted desperately to regain her true face immediately but knew her dad had a reason for not doing it right now. The Grand Emperor looked at the birthmark on Xiao Liu’s forehead and in his eyes was such hidden sorrow. He waved his hand and the birthmark disappeared.

After this big worry was lifted, Xiao Liu walked the garden with her daddy in a completely different mood. She chatted about everything and asked about anything. She even dared to suggest “Daddy, can I not be the Gao Xing Eldest Princess? I’m not saying I don’t want to be your daughter, I just don’t want to be a princess.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my daughter, I am the Grand Emperor of Gao Xing.”

Xiao Liu immediately adopted the saddest puppy dog expression and grabbed her dad’s arm and shook it while pleading “But it’s so hard being the Princess. I have to eat properly, behave properly, and even my marriage is sacrificed to politics and gain. I don’t want to be the Princess!”

The Grand Emperor said “A person needs to have proper manners, it’s not a bad thing. As for marriage, who do you think I’ll sacrifice you to?”

Xiao Liu blurted out “I don’t know who you will sacrifice me to, I just….I just…..”

The Grand Emperor looked at Xiao Liu “I am the Grand Emperor, you are my daughter. You must be the Princess of Gao Xing. This is an imperial birthright, do you understand?”

Xiao Liu lowered her head and whined “Can I not understand?”

The Grand Emperor’s hand caressed Xiao Liu’s head and he said sadly “I’m not like any other dad, I have too much I need to deal with. I worry about a kingdom and its citizens. I cannot just let you do what you want. I need to protect my daughter and the only protection I can give my daughter is my authority. Only if you are the Gao Xing Princess can you enjoy the protection of the entire kingdom. Before anyone dares to harm you, they need to consider whether they can withstand the wrath of an Emperor. Xiao Yao, this is the only thing I can give you as a father who did not do his duty for you. Please don’t reject it.”

Xiao Liu felt her tears about to fall and she took a deep breath “Dad, I’m willing to be the Princess.”

The Grand Emperor smiled “Being a Princess isn’t all bad, at least you can misuse your authority and pick on people. You can be ruthless and lawless, taking whatever you want.”

Xiao Liu gaped “Daddy, are you sure you’re teaching your daughter the right things?”

The Grand Emperor grinned “I work so hard as the ruler of the kingdom and for what? I can’t do anything myself and I don’t have the time even if I wanted to. You don’t have that restriction. I can’t do anything but you can do everything. Who said it’s bad your dad is the ruler of a kingdom with supreme authority and can handle whatever you want to do.”

Xiao Liu was so shocked and confused and so utterly thrilled to have a dad! Having a dad who let her so whatever she wanted was the best feeling ever!

That night Xiao Liu talked to the Grand Emperor all night on the stone steps of the pavilion. She felt like she had so many stories to tell her dad – the first time she killed a tiger, when she stole the snake demon’s egg, when she went to a brothel, when she opened a medical clinic, the farm wife who took her in and taught her to cook, the Lao Mu she brought home, the Chuan Zi and Ma Zi she rescued…..so many things, so many people, she wanted to share it all so her dad would know.

She wanted her dad to know that the last few hundred years wasn’t all pain, there was a lot of fun things and happy times. Not everyone she met was bad, she met some really good people too. All these amazing adventures made her feel like she couldn’t live a right and proper life as a Princess, and in fact she felt like the life she did lead was the one she was meant to live. She didn’t want her dad to feel bad, to feel guilty anymore.

Xiao Liu forgot where she had gotten with her stories when she fell asleep like she used to when she was small, right in her dad’s lap. In the morning, Xiao Liu came out of her room stretching like a cat, wandering the courtyard before leaning on a tree and staring at the sunlight in contentment.

Zhuan Xu and Shi Qi were playing chess and looked over to see her standing against the flower tree. Shi Qi’s heart skipped a few beats but Zhuan Xu teased “Did you steal a fish last night?”

Xiao Liu pulled a flower “I talked all night with dad.”

“You talk the most, but then you act like you haven’t talk all that much.”

Xiao Liu flew forward like she wanted to strangle Zhuan Xu “Let me tell you, I may not have powers now but don’t think I’m easy to pick on. I can make you not talk and not move if you piss me off.”

Zhuan Xu quickly added “Fine, fine, fine. I’m playing chess right now so don’t mess it up.”

Xiao Liu peered at the board and discovered it wasn’t a normal chessboard. It was a magical one used by Gods and she wanted to play.

Zhuan Xu tried to plead “I finally convinced Shi Qi to play with me, when we’re done with this match I’ll play with you.”

Xiao Liu pouted and walked over to Shi Qi “I want to play now.”

Shi Qi immediately put his pieces in her hand and Xiao Liu glared in victory at Zhuan Xu. She picked up a piece and surveyed the chessboard before putting it down and asking Shi Qi “This place good?”

“Very good!” said Shi Qi and Zhuan Xu at the exact same time. One said it in sarcasm, the other in gentle warmth.

Zhuan Xu stood up and pushed Xiao Liu to his spot “Since you’re not going to let us play in peace, you play with him!”

Xiao Liu clapped “Now you’re like an older brother!”

Xiao Liu played Zhuan Xu’s pieces and was her usual reneging on moves and generally being crap at everything. But no matter what Xiao Liu did, Shi Qi was patient and actually was playing seriously. But after each play he would teach Xiao Liu how to play better to avoid the next loss.

The way Zhuan Xu saw it, it was like a kid throwing a temper tantrum and rolling around on the ground. An adult didn’t stop him but also didn’t agree with it, only standing to the side and talking maturely with the kid. After the first time, the second time, the third time, the fourth time……

Half an hour later, Zhuan Xu’s great chess game was a complete and utter disaster under Xiao Liu’s hands. Xiao Liu refused to play another piece and used her hands to upend the entire board and announced “I won!”

Zhuan Xu shook his head with a sigh but Shi Qi smiled at Xiao Liu and looked very wistful and full of longing.

Xiao Liu’s heart leapt a few beats and she calmed down to stare at Shi Qi.

Shi Qi said “I’m leaving.”

Xiao Liu played with the chess piece and said nothing. Shi Qi said “I’ve been worried but now am fully relieved that Zhuan Xu and the Grand Emperor are very good to you and you are very happy here. I need to go take care of my own matters now.”

Xiao Liu said “I know. When are you leaving?”

“Later I will go bid farewell to the Grand Emperor. I don’t want people to know that Tu Shan Jing knows you so I will leave in the middle of the night and take the long route back to Qing Qiu.”

Xiao Liu said “Then go say farewell to my dad!”

Zhuan Xu stood up “I’ll go with you.”

Xiao Liu sat in the courtyard waiting and Shi Qi came back alone after a short while. Xiao Liu asked “What did my dad say?”

“Asked a few matters about my clan but nothing else much.”

Xiao Liu asked “It’s a few hours before sunset, what do you want to do?”

“Nothing. Let’s just sit here basking in the sun, smelling the flowers, and eating snacks.”

All of Xiao Liu’s favorite snacks were always prepared so Shi Qi brought a plate over and sat down in the corridor with Xiao Liu and enjoyed the view of the flowers.

Xiao Liu picked up a duck neck and munched “My dad said that my face transformation is due to a magical spiritual object in my body. When he removes it I won’t transform anymore. What will you do if I’m really ugly?”

“You’re not.”

“What if I am?”

“That’s great.”

“You think I’m great if I’m ugly?”

“Everyone can appreciate a beautiful exterior, if I am the only one who can admire your beautiful interior then I’m happy.”

Xiao Liu felt her face redden and her heart beat faster. Shi Qi lately was the type who chose not to say much, but whenever he said something he had her feel totally off-kilter.

“My heart is pitch black, where’s the beauty.”

“I think you’re beautiful and there is beauty in black.”

Xiao Liu guffawed “We’re like two peas in a pod.”

Shi Qi stared at her smiling and she grinned before sighing “You be careful.”

“I know.”

“Even though your mother’s actions led to what your brother did, I know you feel pity and want to stop the cycle of vengeance, but don’t let him hurt you.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Worry? What me worry. I just think you’re rather stupid and want to remind you out of the goodness of my heart.”

Shi Qi smiled “I’ll take this fox tail that Zhuan Xu doesn’t want. After I create a magical spiritual object for you, I’ll give it to you.”

Xiao Liu nodded. If the Nine-tailed fox is the King of the fox tribe, then the leader of the Tu Shan clan would be the King of the fox kings. There was no one else in this world better than Tu Shan Jing who knew how to use the fox tail.

They ate snacks and chatted, talking about whatever came to mind, or silently sitting next to each other.

The sun gradually set and the sky gradually darkened.

Xiao Liu couldn’t eat anymore and washed her hands. Shi Qi took out a handkerchief and Xiao Liu reached for it but he didn’t hand it to her. He wrapped her hands in it and slowly dried it for it. Her hands were long dried but he still didn’t let go. He tightly held on to her two hands.

Xiao Liu’s heart was a bit jumbled and she kept her head down.

Shi Qi said in a low voice “Fifteen years. Don’t let another man into your heart.”

Xiao Liu raised her head and said with an laugh “Then what about fifteen years later? Can I let another man in fifteen years later?”

Shi Qi’s face darkened and he tightly gripped Xiao Liu’s hands.

Xiao Liu lightly shook their hands and softly said “Don’t worry and go. Fifteen years, I’ll wait for you.” Since that connection and longing couldn’t be severed, then let it remain for fifteen years. After that fifteen years, whether the thread disappeared or became a web, no one knows.

After dinner Zhuan Xu personally escorted Shi Qi off Five Gods Mountain. When he came back, he saw Xiao Liu laying on the pallet in the courtyard staring at the stars. He sat down “What are you thinking?”

“Star gazing.”

“Not sad? I thought you really liked his company.”

“I really do like his company, but what I know even more is that there is no person who can keep company forever in this life. You and I have experienced too many partings, that heartbreaking gutwrenching sorrow we have endured too many times. I don’t want to hurt anymore so I learned to protect myself. You can call it being rational, or see it as being coldhearted. Zhuan Xu, do you have that feeling? If you have something and you like it so much, you will still remind yourself that it might be gone so you remain rational. Even if you like it it comes with a sense of melancholy, so when the time comes and it’s gone, you can be fine accepting the loss.”

Zhuan Xu slid down the pallet to sit on the ground and he leaned back against the pallet so his head was pressed against Xiao Liu’s head as both of them looked up at the stars. After some time he spoke “I thought I was the only one left in this world. But you’ve come back, so I don’t feel lonely anymore.”

Compared to Xiao Liu, Zhuan Xu was the real orphan. When he was very small, his father died in battle and his mother committed suicide on his father’s grave. His grandmother died of illness, and the auntie who was taking care of him also died in battle. He lost all his relatives who would have protected him. To survive, he had no choice but to leave his homeland and come to Gao Xing all alone.

Xiao Liu said “I’m sorry.” Xiao Yao was a very selfish cruel person. She knew Zhuan Xu was waiting for her, she knew Zhuan Xu needed her, but because of her own fear she kept running.

Zhuan Xu patted Xiao Yao’s hand and said nothing. He always thought Xiao Yao would grow up like Ah Nian in the sunlight surrounded by rainbows, never seeing any darkness or danger. Like a Spring flower blooming so beautiful and pure. If Xiao Yao was like that, then Zhuan Xu would do everything in his power to protect her. But Xiao Yao today was not like he imagined, yet he wasn’t disappointed. Instead he felt like this was the Xiao Yao he really wanted, no, she was even better than he could have envisioned. Despite the long time apart, they could still immediately understand what each other was thinking. Whether it was beautiful, whether it was ugly, one was not afraid to show it, the other completely understood it.

“I have something to tell you.” Some things Xiao Yao kept inside and still never dared to share. She felt revealing it would be a mistake, would be deep pain, but not saying it felt like a bug growing inside her body gnawing at her insides. Only to Zhuan Xu could she share it without any hesitation.

“Tell me!” Zhuan Xu immediately said.

“That Nine-tailed fox said I wasn’t my daddy’s daughter. He said that mom was a slut and cheated on my dad with General Qi Yo of the Sheng Nong Kingdom. He said I was really the demon spawn of the most vicious monster who ever lived Qi Yo.” The Nine-tailed fox constantly insulted Xiao Yao’s mom, and initially she was angry and didn’t believe him, but after thirty years of hearing him say it over and over again, she started to get confused.

Zhuan Xu shot up and stared in shock at Xiao Yao. So this was the real reason she was too scared to come home.

Xiao Yao’s eyes were filled with confusion and terror “The Nine-tailed fox said that Qi Yo and my Mom were a pair of adulterous lovers and I was their love child. He said my mom was devious and lied to my dad and to the entire world by passing me off. If my dad knew the truth, he would destroy the demon spawn that was me……”

“Be quiet!” Zhuan Xu slapped his hand over Xiao Yao’s hand “You believe the words of that demon fox? Auntie killed Qi Yo with her own hands! Plus Master is so smart, how could he not know you’re not his daughter? Be honest with yourself, how does Master treat you?”

Xiao Liu stared at Zhuan Xu with her tears filled with tears “So I’m daddy’s daughter?”

Zhuan Xu said with absolute certainty “You are definitely Master’s daughter!”

Dad and Gege were both the smartest of the lot, and if those two smart men reached that conclusion, then Xiao Liu finally relaxed and smiled “Yes, I’m too foolish, I have to be daddy’s daughter!”

Zhuan Xu let out a relieved sigh and rubbed Xiao Yao’s head “In the future, if you ever hear such nonsense, tell me and I’ll handle it.”

Xiao Liu nodded “Do you know that Qi Qing Garden’s pavilions have been renovated many times but my doodles have remained?”

Zhuan Xu said “Master is a great man. Years ago when my four royal uncles wanted to eliminate me, I remembered my dad told me when he was still alive about the friendship between our eldest uncle and Master. Auntie also told me before that if I ever ran into any problems to write a letter to the Grand Emperor asking for help. I wrote to him when I had no other option left and he wrote back welcoming me to Five Gods Mountain anytime. When I came I was filled with trepidation, but he treated me like I was his real son. He taught me how to run a nation and when I did well he was proud of me and when I made mistakes he never hesitated to punish me. One time I was injured by an assassin and he encouraged me to train my own personal guards. Do you know that my guards cannot even take orders from him. One time he purposely ordered something contrary to my orders, and those guards who listened to him were then killed because he told me that the people who guarded my life could only be loyal to me.”

Xiao Liu said “Daddy is so great, then why would my Mom divorce him? I used to think it was because Dad did something wrong to Mom, but you see Ah Nian’s mom. Ah Nian’s real name is Gao Xing Yi, and Yi means memory while Nian means missing. Her name is all about missing someone and past memories. If Daddy was so missing the past and only had my Mom in his heart, then why would my Mom not want my Dad? Sometimes I really hate her!”

Zhuan Xu remembered his mom and said with a sigh “I don’t know! We can’t understand them! Sometimes I hate my mom, too. Right before she committed suicide, she held me in her arms and begged me to forgive her. She gave birth to me and then abandoned me. How can I forgive her?”

Xiao Liu said “In the future if I had kids, I will never leave them no matter what happens.”

Zhuan Xu said “In the future when I marry a wife, I will ask for her whether she’ll die if I die first. If she wants to die with me then I don’t want her!”

Xiao Liu and Zhuan Xu looked at each other and started laughing.

Zhuan Xu’s chin was resting on the pallet and his face was right next to Xiao Liu’s hand “When I’m done preparing, let’s go back to Xuan Yuan Mountain together. I want to know whether the red phoenix flowers in Cao Yun Court are still glorious, whether the mulberry tree grandmother planted is still as green.”

Xiao Liu caressed his cheek “The road to Cao Yun Court is covered with blood.”

Zhuan Xu smiled matter-of-factly “The road to power is always littered with blood and bones. I don’t just want to go back to Cao Yun Court, I want the entire Xuan Yuan Mountain.” In front of others he was always refined and charming, the noble young master who excelled at the arts and socializing. Only in front of Xiao Yao did he show his ruthlessness and ambition.

Xiao Yao laughed “You go fight for it then!” Just like a phoenix was destined to rise to the Heavens, Zhuan Xu was born to wield power. She knew that truth since she was very small.

Zhuan Xu said “Right now everyone in the Xuan Yuan Court is aligned with our royal uncles. I once used the merman tribe to request a summons to bring Prince Zhuan Xu back to Xuan Yuan and it was immediately opposed by the entire court. So if I am to go back, I need an excuse that no one can oppose. For that I’m going to need to use you.”

Xiao Yao smiled “You can use me all you want.”

Zhuan Xu’s face was nestled in the palm of Xiao Yao’s hand and he said in a low voice “It’s so good to have you back. I’m not fighting all alone anymore.”

“Hey, I never said I was going to help you and fight with you.”

Zhuan Xu lifted his head and smiled “You don’t want to help? But its too bad because I’m your Gege! So even if you don’t want to help, the moment I’m in danger you’ll come running to help anyways.”

Xiao Liu smacked him “You’re shameless! People say a brother needs to protect his little sister, but you’ve got it switched around and are shamelessly waiting for me to protect you!”

Zhuan Xu sighed “I have no choice, I haven’t been able to win in a fight with you since we were kids.”

“And you’re not embarrassed to bring that up now?”

“Xiao Yao” Zhuan Xu’s teasing faded and he got serious “You’ve been whatever goes for so long, but I know you won’t be able to sit back and watch me without getting involved. Once I go back to Xuan Yuan, whatever I do will clearly impact you. The people who want to get rid of me will try and harm you. So why should I act like you won’t get involved? Rather than vowing not to get you involved, I’d rather tell you up front so you are better prepared.”

Xiao Yao patted Zhuan Xu’s hand to indicate that she understood. She said “Zhuan Xu, do you remember? When grandmother was about to die, she grabbed both our hands and said that we were poor children and that we needed to stick to each other from then on and take care of each other.”

“I remember.” It was long engraved in his heart, how could he forget? Zhuan Xu vividly remembered their grandmother’s dying request. Because his parents died so tragically, he grew up very young and he solemnly promised grandmother that he would protect his sister for life. Xiao Yao didn’t understand at that time so she merely copied him and promised to protect her Gege for life.

“I thought grandmother was senile back then since you may be a poor orphaned kid but I wasn’t. Look at us now! Grandmother likely already predicted what would have happened to us.”

Zhuan Xu said softly “Back then the laughter and joy blanketed the entire Cao Yuan Court – and now it’s only the two of us left!”

Xiao Yao was silent and then looked up at the stars. Zhuan Xu also looked up at the stars “Thank you grandmother, eldest uncle, second uncle, mom, dad, aunties, thank you for letting me reunite with my little sister.”

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Lost You Forever Chapter 10: Who Knows Your Sorrow — 107 Comments

  1. Jing is such a sweetheart. I love Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao’s interactions. They just click (mostly from all those years spent together), and are so honest and bare with each other. For once there is a rational perspective behind political scheming. Thank you, Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao. Chang Pu’s suicide may seem like a romantic gesture, but it really affected Zhuan Xu’s psyche.

    Xiao Yao is such a Daddy’s little girl. Being Gao Xing’s princess will let her get away with any and everything. It is the best protection that the Grand Emperor, who can’t leave Five Gods Mountain, can give.

    I miss that there is no one left who can call Shao Hao by his name. To the world he is the Grand Emperor and not Shao Hao. The path of an Emperor is a lonely one. I don’t really get his marriage with Consort Jing An. I get that she and A’Heng look identical, but Shao Hao isn’t the type to be moved by such superficial similarities.

    • I don’t feel bad for Shao Hao AT ALL that there is no one left to call him his name. Like – ZERO FEELING BAD. He would do it all over again if he could. It’s impossible to read the early parts of Once Promised without literally bursting into gasping sobs because it was all once so so happy. The Gao Xing Prince Shao Hao. The Sheng Nong Princess Yun Shang and Sheng Nong Prince Yu Wang. The Xuan Yuan royal siblings – Eldest Prince Qing Yang, Fourth Prince Chang Yi, Ninth Prince Yi Peng, Princess Ah Heng. Toss in Chang Pu and Zhu Yu for more fun times. Everyone was so fucking happy and growing up together and then we get the a total rocks fall down ending.

      I mean, the final 6th chapters is pretty much total death and destruction of a magnitude never seen before in novels. How could Zhuan Xu be alright? Chang Yi’s death was totally Shao Hao’s fault as well. Shao Hao may have only tangentially impacted what happened to Qing Yang, but I totally put Chang Yi’s death on his head. Ah Heng divorcing him? Pffft, I would have shivved him. Poor Zhuan Xu, watching Chang Pu commit suicide (and trying to take Yi Peng with her first) is the stuff of eternal nightmares. Then Ah Heng taking down her 9th brother and then the Yellow Emperor trying to kill his only daughter and the kids Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao were there watching all of this? The Xuan Yuan family is so messed up Xiao Yao’s wandering 300 years might’ve been the lesser of two evils.

      Shao Hao is so broken inside where it counts I’m not surprised he found a deaf-mute Ah Heng doppleganger for his consort. The Shao Hao in the beginning of the novel, perfect handsome and best friends with Qing Yang, that Shao Hao would have never. But the end after the final battle, it’s conceivable that it’s the only peace and solace he can find when everyone is gone around him. Shao Hao taking good care of Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao? That’s like the least he can do. If he didn’t, I think as a character he would be dead to me forever. Zhuan Xu is Chang Yi’s son and really he’s like a mini-Qing Yang! How could Shao Hao not love him. Shao Hao probably looks at him and feels less shitty about how he tossed his best friends under a bus to become the Grand Emperor.

      • …You are definitely scaring me off rereading/finishing Once Promised. I like my angst, but this is drowning in the river of tears. (Also a reason why I can’t watch Game of Thrones.)

        Tong Hua is certainly good at giving us happy beginnings and ending with rivers of blood and tears. She is definitely pouring on the tragedy by showing us that they had good times together and weren’t enemies the whole time. Although that does remind me of Shao Nian Yang Jia Jun, happy happy brotherly fun, then they all (pretty much) die in the last 5 episodes…

        If Xiao Yao didn’t go wandering for 300 years, I don’t know how she would have turned out. Not as bitter as she is now, but definitely not as naive as A’Nian. Would Shao Hao have married Consort Jing An if Xiao Yao is there as A’Heng’s memory? I can’t really say since I still can’t figure out why he married her.

        Even if he would do it all over again, doesn’t mean he should be alone. He has made his choices, but it doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad for him. He does feel guilty for the rest of life, which may not be much, but it is something. I suppose I should be happy that A’Heng did try to kill him after all the problems he caused.

        Would you mind explaining why after the Yellow Emperor tries to kill her she still fights Qi Yo for Xuan Yuan? Especially since she publicly declares her love for him.

      • I meant that she didn’t try to kill him…

        Battles for the throne always have such a high mortality rate.

      • skyblu – I read the few chapters in which Chang Yi dies in battle, Chang Pu commits suicide and tries to take Yi Peng down with her but instead ends up killing his mother, A’Heng then kills Yi Peng because she knows that Yi Peng will try to kill Zhuan Xu whose mother (Chang Pu) killed his (Yi Peng’s) mother. I know that xia0yuer translated the part where A’Heng kills Yi Peng; I believe ShuShengBar has a link to it on the Once Promised page. The gist of it is that A’Heng successfully kills Yi Peng, but right before he dies, they both flash back to when they were younger and played together; there was even a time when they were both attacked by a demon and tried to save each other and were both physically scarred as a result. You could say that in that final moment before death, A’Heng and Yi Peng finally forgive each other. Yi Peng even says to A’Heng, “The final demon was too strong for both of us.” You can interpret for yourself what “the final demon” is referring to.

        When the Yellow Emperor finds out that A’Heng killed Yi Peng, he is enraged and tries to kill A’Heng. He reveals that when they were young, he ordered for A’Heng and Yi Peng to take lessons from the same shifu so that they would grow up together and learn to care for each other. He also reveals that he ordered the imperial doctors to keep their physical scars from the aforementioned demon so that in the future, they would always have a physical reminder that there had been a time when they cared for each other and tried to protect one another, and that would hopefully prevent them from one day trying to kill each other (which, well, happened).

        In that moment, I truly became disgusted with the Yellow Emperor, and it’s also why I have such a hard time reconciling him with the much-mellower Yellow Emperor in Lost You Forever. Granted, from a logical POV, it was smart of him to force A’Heng and Yi Peng to grow up together, to hopefully prevent this kind of tragedy from happening, but the root of the problem still stemmed from him: A’Heng and Yi Peng’s mothers hate each other, because they both love the Yellow Emperor.

        Anyway, the Yellow Emperor isn’t successful in killing A’Heng because Lei Zu (her mother) comes out to defend her, and A’Heng coldly reminds him that he never revealed the truth behind her 2nd older brother’s death. I didn’t read all of Once Promised, only the last few chapters, but I think the implication is that Yi Peng’s mother had a hand in A’Heng’s 2nd older brother’s death, and that is why the Yellow Emperor covered it up.

        As for why A’Heng agreed to go out to fight Chi You, I didn’t read all of those last few chapters, but I think that the Yellow Emperor was injured in battle, which made A’Heng realize that no matter what, the Yellow Emperor is still her father. Additionally, from the spoilers in SSB, I think the Yellow Emperor convinced her uncle to convince her to lead the army. What can I say, the Yellow Emperor is very conniving. It’s what makes him a good emperor, but a terrible father/husband.

      • Just wanted to add that at first, I didn’t understand why the Yellow Emperor was so enraged by A’Heng killing Yi Peng that he tried to kill his own daughter as a result. After all, this is hardly the first time that A’Heng’s mother and Yi Peng’s mother and their respective children have killed each other.

        Let me emphasize beforehand that I did not read all of Once Promised, just a select few chapters toward the end (and mostly became I wanted to see the interactions between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao as kids XD), so my understanding of Once Promised is woefully incomplete, aside from what I’ve gleaned from the spoilers in SSB.

        Okay, with that disclaimer out of the way, I think the reason the Yellow Emperor was so enraged was because Yi Peng was the last survivor of his mother’s children, and with him dead, all reminder of Yi Peng’s mother was wiped out. (The Yellow Emperor’s remaining sons – i.e., the imperial uncles that Zhuan Xu refers to – are the issue of his 2 other consorts.)

        I think that between Lei Zu (A’Heng’s mother) and Yi Peng’s mother (sorry, I don’t remember her name, and I don’t care to look it up ATM, that’s how disgusted I am with her), the Yellow Emperor actually loved Yi Peng’s mother more; I believe they were sweethearts before the Yellow Emperor went off to fulfill his ambition. The Yellow Emperor married Lei Zu primarily for the power that she could bring him, and that is why Lei Zu is his Empress and not Yi Peng’s mother.

        The thing is, Lei Zu really loved him, and I think the Yellow Emperor also came to love her. However, Yi Peng’s mother refused to let go of him, and eventually all her scheming and conniving drove him away. Ironically, right after he cut off all ties with her, she sacrificed herself to save Yi Peng from Chang Pu, and as a result, the Yellow Emperor felt immense guilt towards her. Then A’Heng goes and kills Yi Peng, and now you see why he was so enraged.

        Of course, if I got any of this wrong, those who have read Once Promised, please correct me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Oh the solemn promise of fifteen years. I know from what you’ve ms. Koala that the story will span a long period of time and shouldn’t worry too much about Xiao Liu being able to keep that promise or not but when Zhuan Xu said he will have to use her and she willingly accepts I panicked.

    Right now I really don’t feel a love bug between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Liu, just two should that are happy to see and be together again, so his words worries me about what he will do because like she said he had ambitions and ruthlessness when needed. And all the talk about marriage seems like a foreshadowing to Xiao Liu being pushed into one.

    I think the pacing in this chapter was toned down but we’ve hit major plot discoveries that kept pushing the story forward so I have a bad premonition about the grand emperor. In almost every story that exists the dad always dies! Now I pray and wish that isn’t true because he is a dad I root for (except for when he allows Xiao Liu to abuse her powers because I think he did the same for Ah Nian and that’s why she’s the big brat engraved into our brains)

    Once again thanks for the chapter and I really admire the speed you release them. Have a wonderful night.

  3. Thanks Koala! I can’t wait to discover the future. I think this chapter has been mostly the calm before the storm. It’s going to get tricky soon!

      • The birthmark is where the Face Forming Flower was inserted into her body by the Grand Emperor and the Empress (Xiao Yao’s mom). She did it so that she could transform Xiao Yao’s face at birth and arrange it so she would resemble the Grand Emperor. Otherwise she would be in danger if she looked like her real dad General Qi Yo. The Grand Emperor knows Xiao Yao is not her daughter since (1) he never consummated the marriage to her mom since they had a marriage in name only and (2) Xiao Yao’s mom told him she was carrying Qi Yo’s child. The Grand Emperor is just sad since it’s a reminder of the woman he loved but who never loved him back and instead had a mad torrid love affair with another guy and had his child.

  4. Haha I love the scene b/w Xiao Yao and the Grand Emperor in the Qi Qing Garden! She’s so adorable with her Daddy! I adore the way she get so exited over her doodles! ah yah Xiao Yao! I hope that won’t change! Why do I get a bad feeling that politics is going to come in and ruin the good mood?? It’s such a good mood!
    Also, I can’t believe that Shi Qi is GONEE now! What am I going to do?? I feel so lost without his heart melting present! 15 years might not be a lot for gods, but still a lot of things can happen then! Haha does anyone feel like they are going to be angry at Xiao Yao if she breaks Shi Qi heart like me??
    BTW, can anyone explains to me the part where Zhuan Xi told Xiao Yao that her mom kills Qi Yo?? what happened??

  5. Thank you thank you so much for the translation!!!! So addicted to this novel!!! On a side note, is once promised worth reading?? That is taking into fact that I have to relay on audiobook cause I can’t read Chinese…. Is it really sad?????

  6. My heart am hoping Xiao Yao will end up with Jing but at the same times I have the feeling that Xiao Yao isn’t the Emperor’s daughter, instead she has a demon father and that she will end up with Xiang Liu becuase they have something in common.

    I want to ask you for spoiler but at the same time i want it come as a surprise….but like a child i can’t wait….:)

    Koala….thank you so much for translating this piece, it’s been brightening my days.

    • It’s not a spoiler, I wrote in my post for chapter 1 that Xiao Yao’s real father is General Qi Yo and not the Grand Emperor. This is not meant to be a spoiler – anything that happened in Once Promised is open for discussion here.

      • Thanks for clarifying it. I haven’t read Once Promised so the discussion above really helps me understand the background story of what happens before.

  7. I don’t know why but I just can’t warm up to Shi Qi. He’s too perfect. Xiao Yao clearly has some feelings for him which she’s suppressing at the moment but she doesn’t seem to be in love as well. I’m still not on any ship but am doubtful I’ll be on Shi Qi’s. I have absolutely no idea as to how things will progress which is one of the reasons I’m loving this story.

    • Yes, Shi Qi seemed too perfect. I think because he treats Xiao Yao so well and is willing to do anything she asks of him that Xiao Yao may not realise her true feelings for him. It’s like we sometimes take our loved ones for granted and just accept the things they do for us without thought of thanking them. Only when the loved ones leave us or stop their kind deeds do we realise what we have missed.

      • This perfection he seems to have might actually turn out to hurt Xiao Yao in the future. She trusts him, though she’s trying not to and if he fails her in some way, the inflicted sorrow will be much worse. I think she’s aware of his goodness and she’s not taking him for granted at the moment.

  8. I was really eager for Xiao Yao’s emergence here but I guess we have to wait a bit longer. The Grand Emperor seems like such a wonderful Daddy. I guess I need to know what happened in Once Promised to understand why he and Xiao Yao’s mother divorced. The Grand Emperor knows that XY isn’t his real daughter though, right? Since he and A Heng were the ones who put the face changing flower in XY?

  9. Reading how they described Xiao Yao’s biological father, Chi You (Qi Yo), as a monster makes me so sad. I’ve been reading Onced Promised, and even though I’m only up to chapter 7, I feel like Chi You is my baby! Ok sorry.

    Xiao Yao thinking that her real father is a monster really does break my heart though.

    Thank you for your translations Koala!

  10. At this stage, I would think that in terms of a maiden love, then Xiao Yao has it for Shi Qi. She blushed, she could feel his heartfelt love for her. She agreed to wait for him for 15 years.

    With Zhuan Yu, it is the love between siblings who grew up together and went through sad, hard times together and understand each other so well.

    With Xiang Liu, it is like fatal attraction. Fascinating, exciting and dangerous.

  11. why couldn’t i see right after you posted? I always saw the post after 8 hours had passed ๐Ÿ™ what is the problem?????…

  12. Thank you Koala for another update! (= I am enjoying this novel so much! The Xiao Liu and daddy moments are so cute. It’s a little sad that he never got his happily ever after. He’s like the perfect dad, so loving and patient even though he knows she’s not his. He didn’t say he will remove the object, but that he will help her find her face. If she looks like Qi Yo, then the whole world will know that she’s not his real daughter, no? Does he want her to know that truth? I wonder if Zhuan Xu knows and he was trying to make Xiao Liu not think about useless things to protect her. I am a little sad that the Grand Emperor doesn’t have a son. Or does he and he’s just not mentioned? Even though gods are immortal, but they could still die and as Emperor, not having a Crown Prince or a next in line is a big issue. Even if he treats Zhuan Xu as a son, but he’s still a Xuan Yuan Prince and the court will never have it for him to be the next Emperor. I was a little shocked, but not entirely surprised that Zhuan Xu had such ambition. He really does tell Xiao Yao everything! I’m sure he’s never talked about such things with Ah Nian. I wonder how Ah Nian would react to this sister of hers. Ahh.. I’m starting to miss Xiang Liu. I’m assuming he’ll show up at the Little Zhu Yen’s Autumn Tournament. I just hope he’s not Ah Bi or Lie Yang, but based on the character descriptions from the time she was young, I doubt it.

    I guess Zhuan Xu will probably use Xiao Yao to return back to the Xuan Yuan when she returns to visit her grandfather the Yellow Emperor? And who is Royal Mother? Is that the Yellow Emperor’s mother or Grand Emperor’s mother, or neither?

    • After reading Koala’s comment about how the Grand Emperor got to where he’s at, then I guess he had it coming not getting his happily ever after. Regardless, I’m at least happy that he is sincerely trying to be a fatherly figure for both Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao and I hope they never find out the truth. Their lives already suck and to throw in another, “My daddy or Master is the reason for the death of my parents” is a hurdle I rather them not need to encounter.

      If the Yellow Emperor tried to kill Xiao Yao’s mom, why didn’t he try to kill Xiao Yao as well? Don’t they usually kill the descendents to prevent the whole revenge thing from taking place? Or does he somehow care for his grandchild? The Yellow Emperor just seems very ruthless to me. I guess he did also send out an edict looking for Xiao Yao when she went missing.

  13. Such a mellow chapter…I wish to go back to the first arc, where everything was rather mundane and calm. Furthermore, now that everyone is seeing Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao as ‘her’ and not him, I have having trouble seeing her in the appearance of a man.

    Shi Qi, you must not leave! I worry that her promise to Shi Qi will conflict with the one to Xiang Liu. Either of you, come back! I wonder what will occur during the span of 15 years. Will Shi Qi be able cancel his engagement with Yi Yang?

    The story line or the characters from the Once Promised was referenced extensively in the chapter. If Xiao Yao is love child of Qi Yo and A Heng, why did she kill him (or so the fox claims)? Moreover, royals of the ancient time (albeit being set in world of lore and gods) could divorce! That was quite a surprise. I am also enjoying the strong roles of the female character, notably, Xiao Yao and the prostitute whose name I cannot recall at the momment. Xiao Yao may be considered a special case, but her ‘genderless’ relationship with the other male leads was the hook that enticed me. Well, we ultimately figure out that Shi Qi and Xiang Liu knew. I would have liked to see their response or the development of their relationships had they not known. (Why did you have to blush?!) Perhaps, this was for the best as the male characters in a gender bender always ends undergoing a phase of confusion, “Am I gay?” phase as I call it. I mean, Shi Qi, what if Xiao Liu was just insecure or shy? Anyways, I am anticipating the revelation of her true appearance. Would she be ugly as she predicts (for the worse)? I highly doubt that, but Shi Qi’s remark captured the essence of love as relationship NOT based on superficial concerns such as looks.

    Thank you very much! I am euphoric to find the Chapter 10 just as I conclude Chapter 9. Keep your hard work.

  14. I can’t help thinking zhuan yu is a little bit like meng jue. Ambitious. I hope he won’t hurt xiao Yao in the process

  15. Well, indeed the time zone here is different from the time zone in my country…. Looking at the comment, i really wanna read once promise very much. Koala said that after reading Once promise, you will find that Yun Zhong Ge is only a Trip To Disneyland! How come? In Onesecondspring bloc, she writes only the summary but i really would like to know all of the story? ____ Koala plz, do the translation of Once Promise…

  16. All comments make me desire to know the story of A Heng and Chi You. Even though, she killed him or not, their love seems to be eternal and the strongest one. It’s like the proverb: in this lifetime, if we aren’t destinied to live together, we will die together and live together in another world.
    Ms Koala, plz translate Once Promise…

    • I think we shouldn’t pester Koala to do this do that. She is already using her precious time to churn out these articles and translation fast enough to satisfy the curiosity of you readers. Do you not want her to sleep in order to do another translation? She’s not paid to do so.

      • i didn’t mean to pester her. Well, i beg for her to translate but it doesn’t matter if she can’t. I merely wanna know the previous story and feel passion for it like you have read DaMoYao and insist on reading YunZhongGe. I know that Koala has tried hard to do this work and i didn’t paid for anything; i can only read her translation and post comment to show my support.

  17. Thanks a lot for translating this novel. Really really appreciate your hard work ๐Ÿ™‚

    This novel is just so awesome. I don’t think I can choose one guy to root for. Basically I change who I like according to what happen in the latest chapter XD. Can’t wait for the next chapter!

    Words can’t describe how much I love this world created by Tong Hua. Never once did I feel bored reading all the translations.
    I love how Xiao Liu is cautious, mellow, weird and reckless. And I love how she feels real. Her scene with the Grand Emperor’s wife is the saddest scene so far. I almost cried when she just totally lost control and thought that is her mother T.T. I love how Jing just dotes on her and try his best to appreciate every moment with her. I love how Xuan just pines for her so much it hurts to read about it. I love how Xiang Liu seems cruel on the surface but beneath that, he truly cares about her. All of them are just amazing.

    I cannot imagine this being made into a drama. I don’t think anyone can bring justice to the characters D: Especially Xiao Liu’s character. I guess this is how it feels to have a book you really like to be adapted. I can only hope the adaptation will end up decent.

    Thank you once again for introducing and translating this novel. What an amazing treasure you had shared with all of us. And for that I’m truly grateful to be introduced to LYF ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Thanks Ms Koala for the update! I have finished the book but it’s still fun rereading it in English here and correlating with the original text. This is a more mellow chapter but I enjoy reading about their relatively innocent time right now.

    Can’t wait for the next chapter as one of the side characters I enjoy (who sadly does not appear often) will be there!

  19. WOWW, it’s so FAST!
    i thought this chapter will be out tomorrow so i was shocked when i refresh this blog and voila, there’s 35 comment already.
    maybe if knew about XY’s dad story before, i might have a different feels about him, just like you feel Koala. But here i don’t read Once Promised yet so i think he is a great dad.
    I should read it after this novel end.
    maybe i’m missing Xiang Liu too much so suddenly I have some cute imagination about that dining scene. Jing absolutely will assist her, Xuan will just looking at her and Xiang Liu probably will smack her and tell her to stop. LOL

  20. Hello Ms. Koala!

    Just wanted to delurk to THANK YOU for all of your translations! I have fallen hook line and sinker for this book and I can’t tell you how excited I get every time I see a new chapter come out! You are the best!

  21. Thanks for d recap Ms Koala!

    Btw, can someone please take pity on me and enlighten me as to how d emperor recognized Xiao Liu a couple of chapters back???

    *dying to know & cant understand d Chinese version*

  22. After finishing the book I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days, but now I’m actively trying not to think about it because then I’d inevitable start sobbing (even watching Bu Bu Jing Xin’s MVs make me cry). It’s so good to read your translation though and remember all the happy olden days.

  23. The scene between the Grand Emperor and Xiao Liu was so touching. Even if he isn’t her birth father, he still her father in every way that counts. Xiao Liu still has a big heart, as she tries to alleviate her father’s guilt.

    My favorite scenes are between Shi Qi and Xiao Liu. They just get each other. They enjoy each others company alot. I’m sad he had to leave and I get why the writer did that, but I want more Shi Qi and Xiao Liu scenes! I hope he comes back before the 15 years are over since I will miss him.

    Zhuan Xu has been through so much, I don’t understand why a mother would commit suicide and leave her child just like that. And she has the gall to ask for forgiveness? WTF! And she lets her son watch her. Its admirable he wants to get back his kingdom but I fear he will have to pay a severe price for it. More than he already has!
    I don’t think Xiao Liu will be able to help him that much because one way or another her paternity will come out. Will the Yellow Emperor want to kill her like he killed his daughter because she is the spawn of his enemy? I hope not.
    Before this chapter I thought she would be destined to marry Zhuan Xu but now I think its Xiang Liu (and he is my least fave).

    I think my Shi Qi is out of the picture since they are like so many obstacles preventing them from getting together. I don’t think he will have an easy time breaking off his engagement. He will face so much pressure in addition to the stress he feels in with his torturer brother. I hope he survives and Xiao Liu waits for him.

  24. i will surely miss jing gege.Xiao Liu please wait for jing , iwill be very heartbroken if u let another man enter your heart…

  25. Xiao Liu’s interaction with Shi Qi just made me giddy. The way he treated Xiao Liu with sincerity, devotion, and respect, melt my heart.

    I doubt there would be any romance between XL and ZX since the latter is full of ambition. Our XL prefer a simple life which ZX would not be able to provide, i reckon.

    Where as Xiang Liu, i do not get this guy. Does he like XL? Or does he see XL as his kindred spirit? I did not feel anything, not even the kiss scene at the bottom of the sea.

    • However, I must say that I am grateful that Xiang Liu took the lovers bug from XZ. At this stage, he is the best person to retain the bug. He is stronger physically and mentally, compare with either Jing or XZ.

  26. Looking forward on the next chapter. Somehow, I really missed the “fiery” interactions between Xiao Liu and Xiang Liu. All the sparks flying. 0.0

  27. OK, after ten chapters I have managed to keep my heart’s alliance neutral. I think it has to do in part with XL disappearance in the last two chapters. (on a side note, XL is probably too degrading to call our third hero, makes him sound unfit and large. Lol!)

    17 (Shi Qi- yes I’m lazy) is too docile for my liking. I can appreciate a man with a quiet demeanor and all out unconditional love but it seems too simple for our heroin. She needs more zest and and spice in her man! Seeing as how sassy she is leads me to think that she could either

    A) fall for 17 bc he supports her antics no matter how outrageous by sacrificing even his own life. But I would think that love might be obligatory
    B) fall for him because she needs stability and a constant after all the upheaval she has been through and all the other crap that will probably happen

    Gege is gege as in her brother! No after how you slice it (at this point) she sees him as a link to her happier past. Her love for him is pure and void of complicated feelings. If she didn’t go through hardships ad left him for a few centuries I don’t think she would even miss him. Perhaps look at him fondly and protect him at all cost but not at a cost to her heart.

    Gege seems to love her as a precious person because he knows he could lose her at any point and he even substituted her with another sister, whom might I point out is loved and coddled despite her bratty behavior. It didn’t matter how our heroin behaves or becomes, he loves her because he would be broken and aimless and without purpose. His love for her is his purpose to keep on living… At this juncture.

    Last but not least, XL, I secretly feel like he would be the best for fit for our gal because he is so intriguing and broken. Our heroin probably feels akin to him because they share not only lineage but deep scars. (somehow Gege’s hurts don’t measure up but nevertheless he is still tragic.)

    BUT!!! I cannot full support this pairing in my mind because he is so abusive and manipulative! I wouldn’t want that kind of relationship for anybody. Fictions or otherwise! And yes I understand their worlds, power and dynamic is different than our real world being princess God’s, demons and whatnot. But Still!!!!

    Anyway, that’s my stance for now. Who knows what happens to my heart or her allegiance next.
    Ps,Koala, I comment in thanks to you. Know that I have not put such effort in commenting since I was a student. And that was many moon’s ago.

    • There was one part where there was sizzling chemistry between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao. When Zhuan Xu was pierced by Shi Qi’s fiancรฉ’s arrow and wouldn’t stop bleeding, he sent for Xiao Yao. When Xiao Yao saw him, she touched his blood and tasted it to ascertain what poison he had. Zhuan Xu felt affected by her actions and had to compose himself quietly.

      I am afraid my ship is Zhuan Xu and I fear it would be a tragic one. I always like the soulmate and brotherly jibes, not to mention his tragic past and I like ambitious guys.

  28. Thankyou miss koala, (alot of kisses from me are already flying in air to reach you. Hah) I have read all, all all your translation and I love each one of it,and then seeing another translation in progress was like a surprise gift.Boom!! Ah.. Thanks again.
    The comment referring to the the previous book, once promise cleared and mad alot of things much more interesting, not that it lacked any before . just enhanced it, I’d say.
    As of now, my heart lies with shi Qi as best, not because his perfect but I really liked what he said to her in the prison . he thought he was perfect but he realized he was not in such an ugly way, he was broken and dying, had given up but she found him and gave him a reason to live . when everyone find care about him without his name, she gave him a name and took care of him. And how can he try his best to give the perfect love to that person?Now he’s got everything back but to him nothing is worth without her. And there’s so much more to talk about their relationship, so much.. It’s everything that makes me root for them. So please don’t go wrong in 15 yrs time.

  29. Thank you so much for the translations! I love reading them and it’s making me discover a new book. Suppose this would be the motivation for furthering my chinese studies so I could read the orignials. If only I had classes and wasn’t in a “Pick it up as you go along” situation.

  30. Would anyone please keep on referring to once promise in the comment section, that’s the only way I’ll know what happen back then,. As I’m far from learning any Chinese.
    It would be if the ones who have read the book once promise explain few interesting plot lines of it.. ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Thank you again Ms.Koala! This is something I look forward to reading everyday! !! I must say the illustration above is breathtaking. Totally befitting of Xiao Yao. Haha. Keep up the awesome job!!! Sending you loads of virtual hugs!!!

  32. Thanks ms. K for another marvelous chapter and uber thanks for excerpts of Once Promise *xoxo*

    I’ve tons of guesses in my mind!!!

    I feel XL will do a bigger than Big Bang comeback in the tournament. It’l be fun for XY wt complete attendance of her men harem *swoony* ! Lets thrown in sure dumb struck Ah Nian.

    GE is very much a father for XY. He even helped XY’s mom to plant a magical thing to change her face.

    My lovely Jing, he took the fox’s tail wt him…i guess, to try to bring back XY’s spiritual powers or to at least give her powers.

    If XY’s mom killed her demon real dad…i don’t think she will eventually fall for XL. She will not want to repeat history again. I just wish ZX will not get blinded by his lust for power and revenge ( as LBY did in YZG ) and lose XY by his side. Will the grand emperor try to rectify his evil past by making or letting XY happy….wt Jing ?

    Awesome possibilities *whew* TYSM ms. K *mwah*

    • Oh my!!! Someone should dispose of XL before he’l use XY’s promise to him. I felt so sure he’ll ask XY to love or be wt him….or else, XY’s love will become pain something. How devious of XL…maybe, there’s a huge reason why she killed XY’s demon dad.

      • Nee hee…we need an edit comment option and a Like button.

        I meant, maybe there’s huge reason why XY’s mom killed her demon dad…

  33. Thanks for another chapter!!
    I’m really into this book and I wouldn’t have the chance to read it if it weren’t for you. So thank you!

    With each chapter we get to know more and more about Xiao Liu, and I already love her. I think she’s very strong and very real. I totally understand her growing walls around her heart to protect herself, and always expect something will separate her from her loved ones. I think Tong Hua really knows her characters. Each one is different, all of them have their own personalities and feelings…

    I haven’t made up my mind about who will end up with Xiao Liu. I don’t think that it’s important right now, since we’re still getting to know all the characters better. I think she likes Jing because he makes her feel safe, like he’ll always be beside her, always support her… I can’t see anything but brotherly love in her interactions with Zhuan Xu. And Xiang Liu is still a mistery to me… can’t wait to see what’s the importance of the bug.

    I’m so sorry Xiao Liu lost all her powers. I think she’d be really badass (even more than she already is) if she could get her powers back. Also, the Flower implanted in her explained to me why she lost all her powers but didn’t lose the ability to change faces. It’s because it’s not her power, she wasn’t born with it, it’s something that was implanted in her and can be taken out.

    I really like that the Grand Emperor is nice to her, but at the same time I’m afraid he isn’t all that good, or that something will happen and he will disappoint Xiao Liu. Maybe because I don’t know what happened in Once Promised, so I don’t know the characters from that book very well. But I’ll keep reading the comments and discussions here, which are great, and maybe I’ll catch some background explanation ๐Ÿ™‚

  34. This was such a great chapter in my opinion. I think it highlights the loyalty and deep devotion Xiao Liu and Zhuan Xu has for each other. I think their love spawns out of a place of desperate protection and loneliness. There is this feeling that they both are all each other has in the world. Moreover, this stems from their mutual understanding of loss. This is what really connects them– they both understand what it means to lose their loved ones in a blink of an eye and have your whole world turned upside down.

    I think it is great how Xiao Liu have this mutual understanding with all three leading men. Xiao Liu and Zhuan Xu’s understanding comes from a shared history of loss. Nobody will understand their pain except each other. Zhuan Xu does not let anybody see him cry except for her. From this perspective, no one can understand Xiao Liu’s deep loneliness more than Zhuan Xu.

    For Xiang Liu, I think out of all the three male leads, he is her soulmate. They get each other in a way that needs no words or outright admission. Zhuan Xu and Xiao Liu can talk about all the ways they have suffer and share their worries. Xiang Liu and Xiao Liu gets each other without saying so, with denying it at every point. I always have a feeling that if Xiao Liu met her three male leads in modern times without all the complicated circumstances, only she and Xiang Liu would hit it off right away. They would be the weirdos at the secluded lunch table and be perfectly content with each other company. Xiang Liu appeals to the part of Xiao Liu that is unbriddled, ardent, and adventurous.

    And for Shi Qi, I think their relationship is the one that takes most effort to understand. To be honest, I think Shi Qi tries very hard to understands Xiao Liu because he loves her, which to me is more endearing. Xiao Liu may not always understand Shi Qi’s or intentions which is the reason why she always test him. She falls for him because even when Shi Qi doesn’t understand her reasoning or actions, he always follows them without hesitation. Who would not love that?

    All three men are great leading men in terms of love stories. You have the ambitious leader in Zhuan Xu, confident and strides with purpose. You have the forever honorable rebel in Xiang Liu, the gallant bad boy. And finally, you have the devoted lover in Shi Qi, intelligent and gentle. I can see why the shipping wars would get crazy for this one. How do one chose over what seems to be three perfect men only wishing for the happiness of the female leads?

    I can’t wait to read on. I’ve been skipping ahead through the Vietnamese translations even though I only understand about 50% of what is going on. I should have paid better attention during Sunday school. I am so happy that you are doing these translations and am looking forward to it everyday. Would it be too much to say that this is literally the highlight of my day?

    • In a high school drama – Jing is the smart valedictorian from the wealthiest family in school who gets beaten up at home by his dad, Zhuan Xu is the captain of the football team and class president who gets along with everyone, and Xiang Liu would be the loner who smokes out by the bleachers and ignores everyone but gets a perfect 2400 on his SAT scores and no one knows he volunteers at the homeless shelter every weekend.

      • Did you just recast the better version of what “Heirs” should have been?

        (btw thank you for translating this story. I don’t know any chinese at all but have been sucked into the beautiful prose)

      • Lol-ed when I read your comment koala… you should write your own novel with those leads, sounds great already!

      • and what would Xiao Yao be? She’s such a unique heroine that I’m having a hard time picturing any actress playing her.

    • Could I ask where you’re reading the Viet translations? Thanks!
      Also Ms Koala, your descriptions of the 3 guys as high school students below cracks me up..

  35. I’m torn after reading this one. Loved her daddy interactions and conversations. SQ left her???….still have not boarded a ship but really do love the Zhuan and Shi characters for her. Can she not have a reverse harem?

  36. I have been a silent reader for such a long time, I remember the last time I commented on your blog was when you translated DMY. Anyway, I want to say a big big thank you for translating this novel and introducing this to us. After reading 5 chapters of yours, I couldn’t wait anymore and tried out the Chinese version, although I only understand like 70/80%, but it is alright, I get the context, so I am kind of ahead of the story, somewhere at the beginning of book 2. But I still follow your translastions, it gives me full details of what happened, so for that, thank you again.
    Anywy, somewhere at the end of book 1, I was so afraid my ship would go down, so I went around to look for spoilers. And then I found out the end, I read the last chapter and the epilogue and I feel bad. Even though my ship sailed (happily) away, but I am still heartbroen for that other ship which went down. Horrible, sometimes I hate TH for making such kind of happy endings. I was feeling so bad back then for Meng Jiu in DMY.
    For now, I pretty like Jing for his devotion, and of course the bad boy, Xiang Liu. I don’t feel any vibes between Xiao Yao and Zhuan Xu yet. Although I admit, he would be her first priority, but it’s not that kind of love, just brother and sister relationship. I do wonder what happened in Once promised, but I am really afraid to read it. I remember YZG, I only made it till Ling gege’s death, then I stopped reading. Actually, I was desparately trying to find a short summary of Once Promised in English, but I found none. But I am really curious about Chi You’s and A’Heng’s relationship, perhaps you can summarise it sometime when you have time, that would be great. Anyway, thanks again for this wonderful translation.

    • I was also curious about Once Promised too, but I really found onesecondspring and shusheng bar helpful ๐Ÿ™‚ if you read the comments on Shusheng bar you get a pretty good grasp on what happened. The first blog I mentioned she’s currently doing chapter summaries. I hope this helps you ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Thanks for the sites. I’m going to take a look later. Hope I do get a good overview of what happened to the older generation back then.

  37. I waited so impatiently and constantly refreshing but here we are now with a new chapter!! Thank you for all your hard work Ms. Koala. I greatly appreciate it! ๐Ÿ™‚

    The story is a little bit slow paced right now, but it is understandable since XY is still making up for lost time with her families; however, I still enjoy seeing her be daddy’s little girl and Zhuan Xu fawning over her as if nothing ever happened.

    As of right now, shipping wise, I am still team XY & XL, despite the fact that he has been missing in two chapters but I can wait ๐Ÿ™‚ I do agree with most on here that I don’t see XY having any feelings for ZX like the way he does. I know right now her heart is definitely with SQ but I really dislike his sort of passive behavior. He just lets her do whatever and follows her around. He has his moments of taking charge, but it all feels bland to me their chemistry. But I guess ultimately he is what XY needs because he’s always there and she fears being alone.

    That is just my take and I am enjoying reading everyones responses. I am excited for the next chapter!! Again, thank you so kindly Koala!! <3

  38. Thank you so much for another great chapter. It’s so good that I gobble it up so fast that it’s over before I realize it. Of all Xiao Yao’s men I still don’t see her with ZX and see her as loving him only as a brother. I’m guessing her dad will try to marry XY off to him & she’ll go along for awhile because she feels like she should for her dad & ZX. I’m sure ZX loves XY so he’ll go all out to win her heart but I find his character still lacking and I can’t root for him.

    My current ship is XY with SQ but it is starting to bug me that he lets XY get away with anything & doesn’t deny her every whim even if it’s bratty. He doesn’t challenge XY AT ALL and that’s no way for a relationship to be .. He might as well be a slave…albeit a looove slave but still.

    Since XL wasn’t I’m

    • I didn’t finish my comment… Since XL wasn’t in the last chapter I am still not on his ship but I see more potential in him to being THE ONE because they both share with each other their pain & sorrows early on already & they both challenge each other. I didn’t like XL’s meanness before but we’ll see if he changes. Also I like that he comes to save XY and is willing to defy the Emperor for her but respects her decision when she says she’s okay. Hope to see more of him soon!

      Can’t wait for another chapter! Jia Yiou Koala!

      • Xiang riding in on the waves to get her was total bad boy hotness….I still haven’t warmed up to his character even though the writer describes him as smexy flying on a winged creature….

  39. Oh btw koala I LOVE the pictures/drawings in your posts! Are they actually from the book or from other sources that you just liked & felt like it matched the chapter? Either way they are beautiful!

    • All the pictures are from other sources. The three volumes of Lost You Forever do not have any illustrations with it EXCEPT for the illustrated poster that comes with volume 2. It’s the picture I put with my translation of chapter 1. It’s also the picture in the “Currently recapping” section where I listed Lost You Forever. It’s an illustration of Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao walking on the ocean and is the only official illustration from the publishers for the novel.

      • To be honest, I really wish I had unread this comment because I feel if I link your comment of this one to another from a previous chapter I think my heart is going to sink into the depths of the ocean. *sighs*

  40. Hmm, Where to start….

    First of all a big THANK YOU to Ms Koala her who is putting so much effort into translating this book. I cannot read Chinese nor understand it so this is a huge favour you are doing for us non chinese speaking people.

    I miss Xiang Liu so much. I’m shipping him as he literally lights up the pages when he makes an appearance. Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu have a sttaction and understanding which is somethign only they both know and appreciate. I love that he has been described as the bad boy on the bleachers and I always love characters like them.

    However on the other hand, Shi Qi breaks my heart. I’m not on his ship but the way he dotes on Xiao Yao and follows her around is just so sweet. I think Xiao Yao like him now as he seems really loyal to her and that’s what Xiao Yao craves, someone who would not leave her.

    Zhaun Xu so far gives me the bestfriend/ brother vibes. They have different chemistry together but it’s only due to the past they have shared.

    I think this is how the story line will go. Shi Qi leaves and the Xiang Liu somehow reappears in Xiao Yau’s life. They fall in love but Grand Emporer doesn’t like it as Xiang Liu is a demon. Then Shi Qi comes in the scene and more drama follows and then the Emporer tries to marry off Xiao Yao and Zhaun Xu and Zhuan also want Xiao Yu as it ful fills his ambitions. More drama follows and then some one dies and it’s a happy ending. What do say, huh???

    That’s my prediction but lets’s see how the story really goes. I do hope Xiao Yao gets his powers back and I get to see Xiang Liu again soon. I’m really missing him. Here’s hoping that Lost You Forever will not have lots of bloodshed but only bucket loads of tears.

    Koala keep up the hard work. We love you.

  41. Thank you for the the speedy translation. The plot is getting thicker. I can sense that Jing is getting jealous of Gege but Xiao Yan does not even have a clue. Or does she really have no clue?

  42. It may be repetitive but thank you!!!!!! and also I miss Xiang Liu so much!!! I am curious about we get a background story on him. Do demons have parents? So far it says that demons are evolved from animals right?

  43. I’m curious to know how Ah Nian will feel when she finds out that Xiao Yao is a girl? And as her step-sister too??? She’s been raised very loved and spoiled by everyone. I’m afraid she won’t like the idea of sharing her father now ๐Ÿ™

    • Actually I can’t wait for Ah Nian to find out! She’s such a super brat that this should knock her down a peg & I will enjoy reading about it! I want her to witness how much the Grand Emperor & ZX dotes on XY. Especially since she’s been SO mean to our beloved heroine!

  44. Hello LittleTamV again!
    I have to say this chapter sooth me after what happen to the previous crazy heart wrenching reuniting chapter 9. ~Reunited and it feels so good!~ That’s how it feels like now, but… Shi Qi is now out of the box/chapters and so is Xiang Liu for now. (Noo~) I hope this chapter and the few other chapters will develop or make up more for the reason why Zhuan Xu and Xiao Liu will have a “romantic” storyline. After reading this, it helps me understand and develop a skeptical feel for Zhuan Xu. At first, he was the one out of the three lead main guys that I feel the least attach too because he had this detach feel when first met. The business smile, the unmove face, the one you can’t predict Xuan. However, after reuniting with Xiao Liu, I felt that he is just like a little introvert child that needs some love and support and an irritating brother that one who have siblings can relate too. Xiao Liu to him, seems to be the bright sun in his world. I know my curiosity wasn’t able to hold reading a chapter per day (again I still thank you Koala for translating this for us out of your busy life) so I did some crazy. research. on what I can find on the book even though I donโ€™t know Chinese much. I now know a few gist of what is going to happen later and maybe? the ending but I won’t spoil anyone here. But I really have a few question I really wish if Koala or anyone who read any further can answer. It might spoiler some readers, so I won’t give out too much.

    So here’s my questions:
    1. Do you know when they will reveal the birth secret truth to Xiao Yao and maybe to the rest of the world? It’s been rumor here and there, but when will she realize the real truth? After we see her real face? The Grand Emperor does know that she is not her child right? (I want to read Once Promised to know how Shao Hao reacted but I’m too weak-hearted for the storyline and its characters ending. I will be depress for days if I do read it.)

    3. The four leads donโ€™t die right? I will be depress for months if they do. I donโ€™t even care if either the 3 of them donโ€™t have Xiao Liu. I just want them all to be happy. But two ship will eventually sink and one will sail to the end of the earth.

    4. Especially to Mrs.Koala, I know you did this to Da Mo Yao and Yun Zhong Ge before, so I am curious who do you think will suit the characters here if it was made into a drama ancient series show?

    Well thatโ€™s some of my curious questions I have so far. Itโ€™s barely the 10 chapter and itโ€™s gettinโ€™ so good! But I have to say I have a ship now! I hope it sails โ€˜til the end! Hint: He who can make Xiao Liu heart skip and he who can make her get mad as times because of his actions. *Laughs*

  45. Hi! I hae been a lurker seen…I think two weeks ago and I wanted to say thank you for sharing this story with us(especially with us non chinese readers). Because of you I discovered another great writer and her wonderful works. I would like accompany you in your journey of translating this wonderful story. Please don’t let go!(Although I’m glad you discontinued translating YZG because I was so heartbroken with Liu Fu Ling’s passing D:)

  46. Thanks Captain K! You rock!!! I guess I am currently in the no ship boat. Still gotta learn more about each characters. Thanks again!

  47. Thank you, Koala!! I’m grateful for your selfless effort in doing this. In between your chapter releases, I try to read a little of the original, only ending chapter 4 now. What I do most is checking out the thoughts and explanations over in the last translated chapter, I enjoy all the sharing! Am looking forward to seeing Xiang Liu (in another form?) soon in the little tournament. So cool if all the three males and Xiao Liu reunite in the tournament. Wonder what events they will compete in… Mmmm definitely archery.. Still thinking what Xiao Liu might participate in.. poison challenge??

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