Facing Bom-yi and her family’s pain this week has not been easy, mostly because of how real life has colored my expectations. In the last two weeks, a close teacher’s husband died after a 6 year struggle with brain cancer, a younger colleague was diagnosed with colon cancer and a very good friend has spent the last month in and out of hospitals taking care of her ailing and elderly father. Everyone involved is exhausted mentally and physically. The machines, treatments, and side effects dehumanize the loved ones making it difficult for the caregivers to get close enough to offer comfort. Disease and death are messy, painful and it just plain sucks for all the people holding the sick person’s hand.
I got very upset watching Bom-yi’s journey. I hated that she was dying suddenly. That maybe she wouldn’t get a chance to adopt and raise a baby sister for Poo-reun and Ba-da. That her spirited back-and-forth teasing with Dong-ha was reduced to hushed, comforting tones reserved for dying heroines in 19th century novels. Watching Dong-ha, once again, torn to bits having to face a future without a loved one by his side? Man, that’s horrible to see. I was grieving a future that I had envisioned for them, that I needed for them to make me happy. Alas, this is not only about me, or maybe it is. Continue reading