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Lost You Forever Chapter 5: Wish to Entrust Myself to the Mountains and Streams — 82 Comments

  1. Aigoo, this is becoming more difficult. I didn’t read the ‘prequel’ so didn’t capture the connection between Xuan and Xiao Liu, but this chapter enlightens it a bit. I wonder how Xuan will react when he realize who Xiao Liu is. and so did XL get her memory back in this chapter? i don’t think she recognized him?
    About Xiang Liu, it’s nice too see a brief other side of his personality. (of course, he can’t really be ‘bad’ if he turns out the one for XL) It’s also intriguing how they’re in some sort of a mutual relationship. He needs her blood for healing, she needs his presence to cure her loneliness. just like that snake, she’ll keep trying to poison and kill him knowing well he won’t die easily, just to keep him around.
    And finally, Shi Qi. I hate it whenever he’s lost for words when Xiao Liu confronts him sthing about his life. It’s like they both recognize it’s hopeless, Xiao Liu doesn’t want to get attached to Shi Qi any more because she’s persuaded he’d eventually leave. The scene where XL came to see him with Xiang Liu following behind, then how he just accepted every of her request without any question, how to avoid his eyes, she kept looking at the sky, it was kind of heart wrenching to me :'( it’s like they’re growing apart despite themselves. Especially now XL has learnt about his fiancee, argh, i’m sure she’ll come up very soon and i don’t like it at all. As you could guess, I’m still holing a torch for Shi Qi and his unwavering feelings and devotion for XL. I wish XL would meet him again, not pushing him away, and believes that he won’t leave her.

    Again thank you so much Koala for translating. *bows*

    • Xiao Liu hasn’t lost her memory. Her memory is just fine.

      She doesn’t recognize Xuan since he and Ah Nian are both in disguise. Gods can transform their features with their spiritual powers. Xuan is in town under a fake name, so his face is not his real face either.

  2. Thanks for the translation!

    I feel sad that Xiao Liu lives in a world where she constantly puts herself in physical pain so that she can immune herself to emotional dependence :(.

    Also, I finally liked Xiang Liu when he offered to give her protection agst Xuan. Haha.

    • Oh yes, this is true, in that Xiao Liu is prone to exposing herself to dangers / physical pain to immune herself to emotional dependence. I remember there will be an upcoming scene where she jumps into the freezing river and let it carry her. At first I didn’t understand what she was doing. Was she disappointed about Shi Qi? Such that she has to torture herself by causing pain to her body? Then now I think she must have been waiting for Xiang Liu to appear (and save her!)

  3. I wonder if Xiao Liu has his memories now…that would also be a useful tool against Xuan. If anyone heard his words and repeated them…

    Ah Shu Qi and Xiao Liu…already a longing that cannot be satisified so I’m leaning toward them for a title drop

  4. Thanks for the latest chapter translations Ms. Koala!!!

    “My father is the past, my cousin is the future!” – I forgot just how telling that one sentence was.

    But I can’t wait until the scene where Zhuan Xu finds out Xiao Liu is Xiao Yao, also because I want to read your translations in the later scene where Shi Qi admits to knowing Xiao Liu is a girl. 😀

    And is it just me or did anyone else get the happy shivers when Xiang Liu said he would eath Xiao Liu?

    相柳笑看著小六,“就憑我能吃了你。” I was like, “請吃了我吧” Love love love Xiang Liu 😀

    • oh no, I was just rereading the scene where Zhuan Xu’s suspicions that Xiao Liu was his Xiao Yao were confirmed and omg, I can’t believe how gut wrenching it was. The “mother” scene, how Xiao Yao totally broke out of character and called him gege without realizing it because she was so out of it 🙁

  5. For me, SQ is the man…the ideal one. XL is just a pretty demon fair game? lol. Xuan is a connection from tbe past. . . *sigh* this novel is so addicting, all i can think of the whole day. Thanks so much ms k!

    • hey me too, i just kept thinking of it!
      aahhh. i knew it, should have waited for more chapters before starting to read and look at me now, need to read it over and over to satisfy my longing for another chap. 🙂

  6. Koalaaaaaa, thank you so much!
    Waiting for this chapter like all day.

    This chapter tell a lot about our male characters past. And maaan, now all of them have my sympathy. I have a strong feeling, the more I read the more I thorn about who’ll end up with Xiao Liu.

  7. Thank you so much for translating this novel. Yes this definitely brings me back to the time of Da Mo Yao and ZYG. Love it. The wait is crazzy but so rewarding when I see a new chapter pops up. It was like when I first got hooked on Korean dramas and had to wait for a new episodeto come out. I could wait until all the translation is out but that is no fun. Thank you so much again for taking us on another ride.

  8. Thank you Koala!

    The more you get to know the characters the more difficult it is to choose between the three men.
    In that world can a god and a demon be together?

  9. True and sincere thanks for all hard work you are putting into these translations. Have been totally captivated by this story. Since I am addicted to these chapter posts, am grateful for how speedy you have been on posting new chapters.

    I can see why there are rabid shipping wars regarding these three leading men. I’m gonna need them to stop confusing me with their awesomeness so I can finally pick a ship.

    • I have read the entire book online over the weekend.. i just can’t help myself.. so I know the ending but it really doesn’t matter who’s the end OTP.. it’s really the journey that get there is so amazing…

      as the story goes on… the awesomeness of these 3 men with their different identities will totally make you hard to choose..if you are confusing now and don’t know what to choose… it’s just gonna get harder.. it took me awhile to figure out my favorite but I think i have mine and it’s totally subjective..

      even though i have read the entire series.. reading the translating just make me love the book even more.

  10. Thank you so much for translating this. I never would have been able to read any of Tong Hua’s stories if not for you.

    I discover Tong Hua through you, when I first read the other two book translation you did and now I am hooked onto her work. I can’t get enough of it. I keep going back to your translations and re-read them after every update you done on “Love You Forever”. Absolutely amazing how flesh out her characters are, I never seen such character development in any of the English books I been reading.

  11. Thank you, Koala. I’ve been reading this novel in another language after reading your translation, because it is so addicting. I am a Shi Qi shipper. My greatest fear is that Tong Hua seems to kill off all the gentle and intelligent males such as Jiu Ye, Meng Ju, in the end… and the physically strong and arrogtant guys are the one that get the girl. I want Shi Qui will have a happy ending with Xiao Liu.

  12. I have never wanted to learn Chinese so bad in my life. I could start right now…which is would be bad for me since I currently have a midterm tomorrow! Ah! Koala, thanks for my new crack. :PP I can’t express how grateful I am to you for sharing this wonderful story. What an amazing universe Tong Hua has created. I can’t get past how well she has already woven each and everyone’s relationships to each other, and we have only yet begun!

  13. Dear Koala,

    Right now, my whole world is 长想思。I cannot express how I have been drawn into the entirety of their world.
    So jaded with the access to massive number of dramas and books these days that when you come across something so magical its almost a disbelief. 大漠遥 was the first chinese novel I read in the last 30 years of my life. I remembered how good it was but I forgot how it made me feel. After reading your recommendation on 长想思,I cannot resist but search it up online and started my marathon on it. It reminded me that again, how precious something like this is. I felt like only my physical body is left in this dimension and my soul and consciousness has travelled into 长想思 and couldn’t leave. Its like I have been cast a spell. Time and time reading it, I wondered how can 桐华 or anyone weave a story like this good. She must have lived a life like that. She must. She must have known all these characters and lived those pain, heartaches and happiness to be able to tell a story like this. She makes you reflect about life, your purpose and everything that forms around it. 我无法解释和形容那份幸福的感覺,但谢谢, 可一认识这一本好书, 真得太难得了。谢谢!

    • Another one who agrees. Her prose is poignant and elegant (especially elegant for 大漠谣 & 云中歌 with all the lyrical poetry in them) and her world-building is lush and vivid. I’m infinitely grateful to TongHua for starting me on my c-novel journal in 2011. Nowadays, I’m mostly obsessed with xianxia & wuxia novels followed by regular romantic ancient novels (not necessary 仙侠 or 武侠), something that we just can’t find in American books, which is why 曾许诺 & 长相思 were the perfect reading material for me.

      Since you’ve enjoy books written by 桐华, I would totally recommend 华胥引 by 唐七公子. She is also the author to the 三生三世 trilogy, but I have to say by far 华胥引 is by far her best work yet. I love her 三生三世 books because they’re light & fluffy but I have a cousin who hates them because she claims the writing was elementary compared to the elegance of Tong Hua’s books. But even she really enjoyed 华胥引 so that’s saying something coming from a picky reader like her. It’s original and a heartbreaking tearjerker and contains 4 sub-stories in one main one. (absolutely loved 莺哥篇 ~ 十三月 sub-story!)

      且试天下 by 倾泠月 is another favorite of mine. Epic wuxia novel with brilliant, powerful, strategic, and most importantly “likable” male and female protagonists.

      东宫 by Stepmom 匪我思存 would be another recommendation with the reverse harem going on but unlike 长相思, I didn’t care much for the male lead and in fact, hated him many times throughout the book. But the story was definitely one of the most unforgettable and memorable ones I’ve read yet even if I promised I’ll never read another novel by 匪我思存 since all her past books have only given me heartaches and always left me bereft of smiles by the end.

      香蜜沉沉烬如霜 by 电线 is another favorite of mine. It’s laugh out loud funny and the two male leads are equally amazing even if they are as different as night and day…(literally and punny, lol)

      仙侠奇缘之花千骨 by Fresh 果果 & 重紫 by 蜀客 are also popular reads in the xianxia genres but it’s been a while since I’ve read them and I get bits of their stories mixed up with each other because they both have frustrating teacher/disciple romance stories going on that makes me want to rip out my hair.

      • Koala also recormmended 华婿引, sometime last year I think. I read that book and I totally love it. I like the format – compilation of 4 short stories which the OTP came across. I also like that most of the stories sad to the point that it cause your heart to hurt, and yet the overall tone remains light because of the sweetness of the OTP.
        I’ll try some of your other recommendations since I’m switched ship from Kdrama to reading. Thank you!

      • Thank you so much for these reccomendation. This is just what i need to handle the sense of loss and void upon finishing 长相思。 You have said exactly how i felt about 桐华 writings. Its poignant, elegant and yes, the world she built in these stories so epic and magical. Her words about how life is lived and should be lived.. so true and so wise. The characters she built so unforgettable and continues to hold such a special place in my mind and heart even after a long long time. I am thankful to be part of this wonderful journey and to have experienced it. And thanks to Koala. Your translation should be the official english version of 桐华 book. You truely did capture the essence of her books and give justice to them in every sense. That is a feat for writings this lush, deep and expansive.

  14. Thank you Koala!! I am so addicted.. Just wondering though, in the original, do the readers know that Xiao Liu is a girl from the start? Or do they only know after this chapter with Xiao Liu’s memories?

  15. AUGH!! OMG!! Why can’t I read or understand chinese!! Ms. Koala this is how my heart is feeling right now, every blood vessel is about to pop. I have given up on American Literature because of the mundane writing and predictable plots and I happened upon your site a few years back because of Bu Bu Jing Xin and since have I been hooked onto Tong Hua’s writings. Why can’t the woman have her work translated geesh! Maybe because her English-speaking followers aren’t that great in numbers and probably the poetic writing of the Chinese language can’t be fully understood by some Westerners but what about all of us who are in the middle?

    Oh how I was jumping in joy when you released ch. 4 and now 5. I keep telling myself, “she’s human that has a life and is doing us all chinese illiterates a favor so don’t lose sleep and keep refreshing her page.”

    But since reading DMY and finding snippets of BBJX I really want to huddle with a good book and marathon it. But English novels have a totally different style to Chinese novels that is makes me really sad. And I’ve been controlling myself from researching translated chinese websites to learn more about Lost You Forever because I want to feel the magic of the moment of reading and finding out in the novel rather than just knowing. I found a translated scene from Onced Promise and that one was a tearjerker about A’Heng and her brother.

    Anyway done ranting, I should get back to Lost You Forever. I used to really like Shi Qi and the part where his past was revealed really made my heart stopped and feel sorrow for him. But since the discovery of it Shi Qi has been to complacent and he doesn’t seem to be expressing himself really well. I actually really hate the baggage of a fiancee to throw a wrench of what can’t be. This is why I don’t like Guo Jing because he couldn’t be more straightforward with his feelings.

    I’m team Xiang Li for now because he has the least amount of female baggage and most straightforward one with Xiao Liu. I figured Xuan would become the Gege Xiao Liu was talking about but didn’t want to hope for much until I got to the comment section (another reason why I think I’m going to avoid reading the comments from now on) and confirmed my suspicions.

    Gah! The anxiety! *sighs* Ok feel better now. Again I want to thank you for translating another awesome novel and get some rest please so your fingers won’t start falling off.

  16. Yup agreed. Some comments are spoilery.
    I’m team Xiang Liu so far and find his and Xiao Liu’s interactions multilayered and I keeping glinning more than there is to it. However ShiQi and Xiao Liu break my heart. That scene where he ask’s not to say thank you ….it sort felt bad for that guy.

    Koala of course has a life but I keep wishing otherwise to get more chapters. I can’t stop thinking about this book.Sigh…..

  17. Thank you Koala for sharing your translation with us! I am absolutely in love with these type of novels but I can’t read them due to the language barrier. I wish i could read Chinese characters T.T

    So far, I’m a Shi Qi shipper. His devotion and love for XL is heart wrenching. I have a feeling I’m going to develop more feelings for Xiang Liu and Xuan, but so far, my eyes are just for Shi Qi.

  18. Yay!!’ Thank you for this new chapter! I tried reading the Chinese version but I had a tough time with it. Your translations are really good notjust in the literal sense but also because you capture the essence of the story too!

  19. Gahhh…I want MOAR *cries impotent tears of regret for not studying harder in Chinese school*

    I’m really on the edge of my seat now that we have more back story for Xuan. I need more interaction between XL and Xuan before I can fully jump on any boat.

  20. Thank you so much for the speedy translations. You have to know how your releases bring so much joy in my life. Its a beautiful escape from my work-home cycle. Its like I am being a part of this wonderful world and you’re an angel who passes through the joy into our hearts.

  21. First I want to sincerely thank you Koalas for introducing Tong Huo’s novels to me from DMY to YZG and now Lost You Forever. I loved reading the novels and had reread so many time. Therefore, I appreciated your works and efforts to translate these novels. They are excellent novels which I am rather waiting to read them than watching a thousand movies. Since I don’t know how to read Chinese’s language, so you are enhancing knowledge to me, and thank you so much for translating these novels.
    Lost You Forever is really amazing story from the beginning chapters, and Thank again for your diligently translating of the novel, so we can all enjoy a good book.

    • Also is Xuan actually Ah Nian’s cousin? Is Xuan Xiao Liu’s real cousin? Thank you for translating this book! It’s so addicting!

    • and yes, it was already hinted on the first chapter that Shi Qi knew Xiao Liu is a girl, but we are later confirmed his suspicions and I love how he insists that she’s a girl even when she denies being one. LOL!

  22. I believe the revenge she wants to seek is possibly her gege. I think that’s the reason why she can’t trust anyone. I got a feeling my demon – goddess love won’t come about. I think I’ll have to jump ship before the ship is made to prevent heartache

  23. Hello!! Thank you so much for translating this for us! This past weekend, i’ve read all your book translations up to this one, and I just have to say that I greatly appreciated all the time + effort that you’ve put into this!

    I only now wish that I could read Chinese well enough ( should have worked harder in chinese school!). Tong hua’s writing is just so different from anything I’ve read in the past. Her characterizations are well thought out, and I feel like I’ve jumped into their fantasy work.

    Hopefully, a dictionary can make me get through some of the next few chapters.

    Thank you again!!! Je t’aime! (vraiment!)

  24. Thank you for the translation Ms. Koala! 😀
    It’s amazing how every chapter leaves me wanting more. It really feels like the plot is picking up (Y)

  25. I’m just halfway into book 1, and at this point, I’m really seeing Jing as a typical 2nd lead. Since I didn’t read the books before this series, I’m not feeling anything strong for Zhuan Xu, yet. So yes, currently I’m a Xiang Liu-Xiao Yao shipper! But I’ve got a feeling the dynamics will change further on in the story? Can you spoil me with a hint of the ending? Dying here, haha.

  26. I don’t know who her gege is, but I like the guy…
    He’ll definitely grow up to be a fine man who would do anything to protect her.
    More Xiao Liu and gege time please!! haha
    except…he is her FIRST cousin right? That’s kind of weird…

  27. I said in the first chapter translation for the comment threads to stay spoiler free. I’ll delete comments that might be spoilers so as to preserve the joy of reading this novel without knowing the ending. TH released this as 3 volumes over a year and half and the thrill of the read was in the agonizing wait in volume 1 to see who she loved more in volume 2, and then it was to see which she picked in volume 3. If the C readers could wait a year and a half for this novel to be done, it’s doable to read along with my translations at a steady pace.

    • This is why I usually choose to wait until book/drama are completed before picking them up, because withdrawal is a bitch indeed.
      I’m finally onto book 3 and this book makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry like a baby most of the time, I’m actually scared to continue reading. The characters are all so well fleshed and make me care for them sooo much I don’t want them to get hurt. Seriously contemplating if I should just stop reading before anything heartbreaking happens and imagine that Xiao Yao gets her marem and live happily ever after with three gorgeous men.

  28. Captain K! I sincerely thank you for taking the time to translate and share this book with us, You’ve made my morning and really wished I paid more attention in Chinese class. If I had to turn back time.,,learn how to read and write Chinese!

  29. Yeess!!!!!! The wait seemed too long & the read was over before readers knew it. How I wish I knew how to read chinese! Anyways, I guess I’ll have to sit back & eagerly wait for another chapter! i pray that your life isnt too busy so you have more time to translate more chapters haha. Thank you again for translating!

  30. Wow!! I am speechless! What an action packed chapter!!!!! I am eager to find out what happens next?

    Xiao Liu is so brave and courageous being! Falling in love with his/her character!

    Thank you!! 😀

  31. I think you’re translating at a incredibly fast pace already. Thank you so much for your hardwork.
    I’m guessing waiting for the chapters is going to get more agonizing as we go on haha.

  32. Am the only one cheaking every hour for a new chapter? This book is like crack. Doesn’t help that this is my week off work and all I can think is of Lost You Forever.

  33. Shi qi reminds me of Meng Jiu in DMY. Both has the characteristics of elegance and one-pointed devotion. I started re-read DMY while waiting for new translation of LYF. I know it’s still too early to lean towards any male lead. However, A part of me wanted SQ to have the girl to compensate what MJ could have in DMY. Thanks koala for introducing another addictive novel.

  34. Ms Ockoala, I would like to thank you for doing this translation. This is an amazing, fascinating world of Gods, Demons and Humans. I am excited about each chapter and look forward to the journey with Xiao Liu as he/she finds her happiness and trust in someone eventually. 🙂

  35. Thank you so much for introducing this trilogy to me. I’ve just finished marathoning it over the weekend. Hands down the most evocative, poignant and well spun story I’ve read in the last two years ~

  36. Dear Koala,

    Thank you so much for introducing and translating this book! You are so right, I’m totally hooked. I like it so much, it made me go search for the Chinese text online. Found it, alas it takes me 10 times longer, maybe more, I’m just in chapter 1! That shows often I read Chinese these days. I think you have captured the essence well in your translations.

    Don’t know why I’m intrigued by XL the most although he’s a demon. Mamm, guess it’s cos he doesn’t look like one.

    Thanks so much and so looking forward to your next chapter.

  37. Dear Koala,

    I usually hate Chinese books, after reading chapter one I was hooked and read the whole book online. I finally finish all 3 books and I still will read your translation cause this book is just so good.

    Thanks so much for translating.

  38. koala di can u tell me how many chapters are there in a total with all parts plzzzzzzzzzz…………..and i still egarly waitin for next chapter………………..still waitin……. 😉

  39. You spoiled me so much, Ms. Koala! 😛

    I am supposed to present a speech at my school tomorrow, but what is in my brain now is all your translation of Lost You Forever! Can’t get it off my mind. The novel is just simply amazing!

    Thank you, Ms. Koala! <3

  40. I actually much prefer Once promised over Lost you forever. The tragedy and epicness just seemed to be greater. But I also agree the heartache is like a million times worse for OP. I cried like crazy for AhHeng and Chiyou. While reading OP is not necessary to appreciate LYF, for me at least, Xiao Yao’s final choice is deeply rooted to the events of her parents.

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