Lost You Forever Epilogue: Wishing You a Lifetime of Worry Free Happiness
Might as well strike while the iron is hot, now that I got my book translating mojos back after a good 4 year hiatus. I posted the final chapter of Lost You Forever, my favorite C-romance novel of all time, but that’s not the final thing Tong Hua wrote for this story. She left an epilogue and it feels like she planned it all along this way. Of the three male leads, only Xiang Liu that Nine Headed Demon all in white never had any internal monologues so forget Xiao Yao even us readers don’t know what he is really thinking, But that’s rectified with this beautiful and much too short epilogue, like how I feel about his appearance as a fictional character in this epic story. Ephemeral but unforgettable, and of course he leaves with the same selfless conviction that made us love him. I’m sorry I neglected to post these two final chapters until such a long time has passed and probably many readers have moved on, but for those just discovering this gem now you can read a completely beautiful and stirring story in its entirety.
Epilogue: Wishing You a Lifetime of Worry Free Happiness
The mountain ridges were tightly nestled together as the forest trees undulated in layers.
At a canyon near the water source, rows and rows of tents fanned out. At this time it was near dark and normally the encampment fires were roaring and each tent would be lit by lamps. But to stay concealed, there was not a sliver of light and not one sound. Only squads of mud splattered weary soldiers patrolling.
Xiang Liu quietly walked past a row of tents, his snow white robe like a small breeze softly rustling through the camp, becoming the sole light in the heavy darkness of the moment. Every soldier who saw him unwittingly felt a tiny bit of ease and their mood a little lifted.
Many years ago, new recruits would complain to the old veteran soldiers “That Nine Headed Demon, why does he have to be flashy? We’re going to battle not to a matchmaking meeting, does he need to dress so eye-catching?”
Those who experienced life and death before their eyes and carried home the bodies of their comrades would smile with resignation “After you’ve been to a few battles, you will understand why!”
When those rookies would slowly feel the weight of those life experiences did they start to understand what the old soldiers meant. On the battlefield, when that all white figure appeared, he would capture the attention of every enemy and all the strongest attacks would be aimed at him. That would help save more of their troops as Xiang Liu took the brunt of all the enemy attacks. So at night in the camp, when the all white figure was spotted, no matter how near the enemy was, all the soldiers could still sleep soundly.
After burning one deceased comrade’s body after another, the remaining soldiers finally understood even more why Xiang Liu wore all white – perhaps he really was that brash and arrogant, wanting the enemy to see him; perhaps he was the wisest General who wanted his troops to always be able to see him no matter how dark; no matter the real reason no soldier dared to ask Xiang Liu directly so why he always wore white became a topic that was forever debated but never concluded.
Xiang Liu surveyed the camp and walked up to the top of the mountain to look down from the summit.
In the distance he could see fires burning, that was Ru So burning the entire mountain to force them to come out and battle. The final battle was about to arrive. All the soldiers knew their fate and they willingly chose this path in life. The world was at peace and the people were safe and secure, these Sheng Nong resistance army soldiers were now discarded in the passage of time and had become pointless. So death was the best release for them, and the most comforting final destination.
Xiang Liu sat down on a green rock and took out a piece of Fu Sang God Wood. He intently carved it and a round big bellied laughing doll started to take shape. All that was left was detailing on its eyes.
After Xiang Liu carefully and precisely finished carving the doll, he intently inspected it and was pleased. He turned the doll head down on his knee and opened the bottom to take out a crystal ball.
A clear crystal ball wrapped around an ocean tableau inside. The glittering waves had colorful fishes swimming, red coral, and a large white clamshell open like a resplendent flower. A beautiful mermaid rested sideways on the clamshell, her hair flowing like seaweed and her entrancing fish tail resting half against the white surface and half in the water. A man stood next to her, holding the mermaid’s extended hand and smiling as he gazed down at the mermaid. In the corner of the tableau a merman floated in the ocean, he appeared close to the clamshell but his distant pose made him seem like he was actually in another world and not in the same calm and serene ocean.
Xiang Liu stared at the crystal ball for some time longer before his fingernail extended into a sharp knife and he swiftly inscribe two lines of words on the ball in very small letters. Just then the moon shone through the trees and landed on the crystal ball and the two lines of words next to the merman was legible: The ability to take care of yourself, someone to rely on, a place to go – wishing you a lifetime of worry free happiness!
A gold crowned white feather giant condor dove down from the sky and perched on the edge of the cliff. He had a bucket in his beak filled with thick green Fu Sang sap. The spiritual powers were so strong a green mist was bubbling around it. The white condor Furball knew the Fu Sang God Wood seemed normal but one touch and all his fur would be burned clean off. He gingerly place the bucket down next to Xiang Liu before hopping quickly away and not daring to bother him. He curiously watched Xiang Liu’s every move.
Xiang Liu placed the crystal ball back into the belly of the big bellied laughing doll, it wasn’t too big or too small, it fit perfectly. He closed the bottom up and with the crystal ball into the belly of the doll, the crystal was water essence and the Fu Sang God Wood was a fire essence so the two opposing powers contained each other. The crystal’s ice essence was no longer bone chilling and the Fu Sang God Wood would no longer burn up on contact. Now even someone without any power could touch the big bellied laughing doll.
Xiang Liu put the laughing doll into the bucket of Fu Sang sap. The doll and the base was the same piece of Fu Sang God Wood and after setting a maze and the passage of a few months, it would seal together seamless. But he didn’t have time left so he could use up some of his power to finish it.
Xiang Liu used his blood to create a maze and used ten sun stones that had accumulated tens of thousands of years of sun essence. He pushed his power through and the sap in the bucket started burbling upward like boiled water. Gradually the sap was absorbed by the doll until there was no liquid left in the bucket. When all the sap was absorbed, the big bellied laughing doll and the base was seamlessly bonded together without a shred of connection point. It was like the entire doll was made whole.
Xiang Liu used about half his power to try and pry open the doll again but even he couldn’t. He took out his weapon and tried to slash it but it made no mark on the doll. Xiang Liu finally smiled in satisfaction.
Furball stood on one leg and cocked his head quizzically to the side and stared at Xiang Liu like he was staring at a lunatic.
Xiang Liu gazed at the big bellied doll in his hand, the smiling face with the curving eyebrows and the pouting lips looked back at him with joyful mirth. Xiang Liu’s lips curled into a smile and he started chuckling out loud.
He put the doll into a bag and tied it to Furball’s back. Furball coo’d to ask and Xiang Liu replied “Go to Jade Mountain, tell Ah Bi that this is his wedding present to Xiao Yao.”
Furball’s bird eyes widened in shock and he hooted loudly in discontent, he didn’t know why something clearly made by the Nine Headed Demon would have to be given as something made by that winged fox! Xiang Liu smacked Furball on the head and coldly chastised “Don’t grumble, just do as I say!”
Furball complained loudly a few more hoots before he spread his wings and took flight into the night headed in the direction of Jade Mountain. Xiang Liu craned his head as he watched Furball fly further and further into the pitch black night sky.
Remembering our first meeting in Qing Shui Town, you were all shits and giggles, a mouth full of made up crap. But the only thing you said that was true was: I have no ability to take care of myself, no one to rely on, and nowhere to go.
After over tens years of teaching you archery, you now have the ability to take care of yourself. You don’t need to use your own body to protect someone you treasure when danger is around. The right man for you, you now have someone to rely on, you don’t have to be all alone anymore with solitude as your companion. The sky is vast and oceans deep, you now have a place to go and don’t need to be chased by people and be without a place to call home.
Xiang Liu thought to himself: Xiao Yao, from now on I can no longer stand watch to protect over you, you have to take good care of yourself, wishing you a lifetime of worry free happiness.
Thanks Koala. I really love this book and your translation. Much appreciated!
What an amazing story, thanks so much for the translation. You’re Awesome.Koala
This epilogue is my favourite and it brings such a swelling of feelings. Xiang Liu is such a layered character and he is my favourite. His way of handling things is purposeful and decisive, truly a general. I wish it was a longer chapter but then the bittersweet feeling may not be as strong. Thank you Koala. I read the book because you recommended it and I’m hard pressed to find another that can rival this.
Just finish rereading 51 chapters.
Even though it is my second time, I can’t stop my reading until the wee hours, my eyes hurt, i laugh, I cry, what a wonderful translation by koala. Thank you so much.
Among the three men, I will stil choose Jing. No woman wanted not to be prioritized. Jing in many occasions give and just give. Xiang Liu, he gives but most of the time in exchange of something. Zhuan Xu, he is a user and selfish. He’s stuck in the childhood memories.
But among the three emperors, Zhuan Xu is the best.
I don’t know how to react to this.. after all the chapters have been read, the tears have been shed, the feeling of pain, happiness and anger. I don’t know if I can find another book that can rival or surpass this story. I loved all the characters especially my favorite XL – sorry I knew Jing was the best fit but at the same time there was that sliver of hope that XL would be the victor . He was that bad boy that only showed his true self behind closed doors.. no matter how mean he was he was always there when she needed him and that’s what hurt so much. I cried when she cried for him which meant she did feel something for him but was to afraid to accept it. I don’t know maybe it’s just me and my interpretation of what I wanted but .. I wanted to share my thoughts.. I can’t believer I’m still crying this book is finished … thank you
I cry every single time I read this epilogue. It’s tooo good!
Finally…. And I thought I was the only one who bawled their eyes out while reading the epilogue
This book led me to Koala, to many more Chinese novels and to years of daily update on this website! Thank you so much!
Thank you to each and every reader who accompanied this blog, and a shout out to the fans of Lost You Forever! I’m so so sorry I didn’t finish this during the heyday when everyone was still hooked. Please let folks know it’s done so they can come back and finish if they are still interested.
Hi Ms. Koala,
This is my first time commenting to this blog. I always stalking your blog every day, my apologize. I can’t thank you enough for introducing & translating this epic novel. My mother in law (non Asian) also love “LYF” so much. I reread this novel translation many times already, in fact I was reading chapter 6 when suddenly “LYF chapter 51 showed up. I was so shocked, exited & couldn’t believe it!
Ms. Koala, by any chance, could you sell your translation of LYF to Amazon? I will buy for sure. I know you don’t need money but I’m really hoping that more readers will know this masterpiece novel. Again, thank you so much!
No, I’m not crying…???
Beautiful final chapter and epilogue. It’s a testament to how deep a mark XL left on my heart that even after all these years, I am so moved by this ending. A wonderful novel from start to finish. I’ve reread it, probably 3x now, will need to schedule in another reread soon.
Thank you so much Koala for your labor of love! Also, my favorite c-novel to date! I’m so glad I caught your tweet, otherwise I might have missed it! Piggybacking off of Ellie, I honestly wish there was a way to get your entire translation as a printed book. Would buy and read all the time! Although I know that must be legally difficult (although we have a lawyer in the house, right? ?) Again thank you for sharing this story and journey with us!
Koala, while reading Lost You Forever I loved reading your interpretations and thoughts in the comments section because it helped my understanding of the novel when I couldn’t read between the lines xD I know you mentioned before you tried to not comment too much because you want us to form our own interpretations, now that the novel is complete will you be doing a post about your thoughts/analysis of the novel? As well as which guy she loves the most, who loves her the most, etc
Such a selfless love!
Thank you for completing this novel. Ockoala, I started this journey with you, became an avid fan of this novel. Years passed and it seemed I will not complete reading the ending specifically translated by you. I checked your site every few months to see if you posted the last few chapters. You did not forget to finish it and I did not forget to visit. Thank you.
I started reading it since the first chapter you translate, and have been re-reading in every couple of years. Just want to say a big thank you for introducing us to a beautiful, heartful, and memorable story! This is my favourite novel of aaaaall time. Thankyou
Hi I’m also a big fan of this novel and just like you kept rereading it through out the years! Now the drama is here I am rereading it again and just finished with the novel again but I’m on episode 20. Are you watching the drama?
Where can I read the book in English?
Go to my drama/book recaps link on the bottom of the header, you’ll find the entire translated novel towards the bottom of the page.
This is one of my favorite Chinese translated novels! Thank you for all your hard work and for giving us the epilogue translation!
Thank you so much for translating this beautiful story and thank you for your beautiful translation.
I can’t read the original version but your translation has moved me with the story and sparked the thirst to read more on Chinese novels.
Xiang Lu remains my favorite protagonist until the end of the story, a reflection of an unsung and altruistic hero we really need in this chaotic world.
thank you so much @ockoala for this.
Thank you, Ms.Koala!! Will pick up the book again at where I left it hehe
Thank you so much! Like some of the commentors here, it was your translations that got me interested in reading Chinese novels, and I’ve loved all of your translations. I was so desperate to find out how this ended I used Google translate on the original text, but this is so much better. Much appreciation for all your hard work over the years!
My heart breaks for Xiang Liu, but, in the end, this is how he wanted to go. Sniff.
Still in love with this book! Thank you so much for completing the translation!!
And its come full circle! I have been following these translations since 2014 when they were initially posted and fell in love with it and of course Xiang Lu. Unfortunately someone spoiled it and Xiang Lu’s fate broke my heart. No matter how hard I tried, I simply couldn’t get back to it. He is my favourite fictional character of all time and believe me I have read tons of books. I’m a book blogger.
Koala instills melancholy, sorrow and deep connection even via translations so well that I have to keep telling myself that this is fiction. I have been feeling down all day and wondering what was the matter with me untill I realised that I read Xiang Lu’s epilogue.
Thanks Koala for introducing me to a different genre of fiction and Chinese fantasy literature.
Hi Koala, I have been on your website ever since I stumble up on this book. I read it I think around 2014. And keep on checking your website for updates on new chapters. I was so happy you finished translating. I finished it kept on rereading it over the years. I was so so excited to hear the drama was coming out this year 2023. I am on episode 20 on the drama and reread the novel again when the drama started. I finished it the novel again today. I probably read it 5 times already. I’m on both ship Jing and XL. Lol I was on XL ship but wanted this ending so if I was XY I had to choose Jing. Thank you again for this adventure and all your effort in translating this beautiful novel.
I meant to say XL wanted this ending for himself. But after watching episode 20 if XY didn’t say he was scary to enter a girls dream. And if she accepted her feelings for him I think he probably will give up being general and married her as Bei. Bc I can see through the drama that he was heartbroken when she said that to him. If she didn’t say that he wouldn’t have to concealed his feelings so strongly thinking it would make her happy.
Many first loves are coming full circle this Valentine!
Cannot believe that BBJX was so long ago or that it lead to the beautiful entrapment of Tong Hua’s other works, shared so passionately on this blog.
Xie xie ni Koala.. after the loong paused you decide to continue finishing this novel. Such beautiful story that left me hollow full of grief and sadness. The ony one person/character that vanished from in the ending was Xiang Lu. His nobility to love xiao yao was one ultimate great actions to show his selfless and profound love in silence. Everything concerning xiao yao happiness was provided by this great selfless Demon, from the ability to protect herself ( him giving her the magical bow n teaching her archery), place to stay ( him giving his blood essence during those 37 yrs he was curing her so she can also survive undef water), and the last ultimate gesture of his love was rescuing Jing ( i remember the last time he saw her, he asked for a plentifull of blood from her that made her angry and mad at him) this blood he condensed and gave to a mermaid to feed it to Jing so he can survive after jing got lost in d ocean. Jing surviving was meant for Xiao Yao to have a live accompaniment by her side.Such an enigmatic character invented by Tong Hua that will always stays ni my heart as my favourite great chracter. Kudos to Tong hua..
Hello.agree with you.xl character is so unique but he knows xy’s Heart is already given to jing.
No, Xiaoyao has always loved xiangliu
This epilogue brings all those feels I’ve buried deep in my heart from this novel a long time ago. Such a bittersweet, painful but also beautiful nostalgia.
LYF was my first C-Novel. My very first introduction to many amazing Chinese novels. Thanks to you Koala.
This is such a unexpected gift – thank you so much Koala! I found this novel after watching Scarlet Heart (BuBuJingXin) and I’ve been hunting for novels ever since! It’s still my ultimate favourite and I’m eager and scared for a live adaptation! Thank you again!
Thank you so much for your translation! I actually discovered this site through LYF and have remained a loyal visitor since. Love this novel to bits and am anxiously awaiting for news about the drama adaption…
Glad to read the end. This definitely supports what I wrote before: XL protected XY but had other priorities and since he knew he couldn’t put her first he supported the one who would, Jing.
Thank you
Thank you for completing this Koala! This was such a wonderful book and your translation was great to read. I’ve read LYF several times now and each time I still manage to cry buckets. Thanks for this experience!
Hi Koala!
I just want to say thank you so much for the translations! I’m one of the new readers who saw your chapter 51 post and was curious enough with the book to go start reading from chapter 1. And boy it was a journey!!!! I’m currently in the middle of the hospital cafeteria trying not to bawl my eyes out with this epilogue. The ending was amazing XL is my ultimate bae, ZX chose his path but is also still my bae and Jing really deserved being with XY. And most of all XY is one of the strongest female protagonist that I have read in a long time, it’s amazing to see intelligence, playfulness and strength.
Thank you so much for the translation! It was an absolute pleasure to read!
Thank you very much! A bittersweet ending indeed. All of the characters even the minor characters, were able to reach/ satisfied their goals but lost something on the way. They all had faults and I felt serious angst but realized even gods aren’t perfect. I still think back to Qing town and to me that seems like the best times of their lives being care free before politics/ family drama interfered.
It is a pity Xiao Yao will never know how much XL did for her or how he felt about her. He disguised it as transactions so she will be not too hinged on him and saved Jing bc Jing will always place her first since his grandmother and brother/deceased wife are no longer in the way.
Personally the first third of the book I felt Jing was best in his devotion but his timidity caused XY to suffer. XY is already emotionally abused since young so of course it is harder for her to initiate. ZY is living in regrets but also missed his chance to confess earlier on. I pity XL the most. In another world like xiao yao referenced to if she met XL first before general gong gong how different it would be. I believe XL was XY ultimate bae but both knew that XL cannot give up his loyalty. XL is a relic of the past generation like ZY’S dad, dying for one’s conviction with their brethren.
Moving along, ZY will forever be in a conundrum as the emperor to please the clans/ tribes as the case of Xing Yue empress and Feng long’s death so even if feelings are there, he can’t give xiao yao the best happiness. I do pity that he wont get true happiness. I agree with Ms koala that this book is of two leads, XY and ZY, because of such depths given to ZY.
This book definitely tugged on the heart bc XY finally get her happy ending after everything she has been through. Sometimes she can be dense but that is because the Male leads hid it so well. I wish there was an epilogue of XY’S kids with jing! After so much angst of them uniting that spanned over centuries i want to see a bit more intimate fluff between the two! Lol
Btw i thought XIAO YAO lost the ability to transform faces when the white emperor removed that peach blossom artifact? How come at the end he mentioned she still could transform and with jing, they can forever live away from the politics?
Such a gem! I’m lucky I discovered it this March so I didn’t wait for long. But wow, such perseverance in translating! I admire you. Thank you so much!
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Thank you so so much Koala for finishing this translation. I have waited for over 5 years and I am so happy it is finally complete. This is my favorite novel of all time and I keep coming back to re-read it at least once every year. Your hard work is very much appreciated <3
Thank you Koala so much for let me discover this wonderful novel. It has become my favourite romance novel, I’ve read it so many times but every time I re-read my favourite scenes with Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao, my heart beats faster. It’s one of the few novels where you can actually feel the strenght of “show don’t tell” good story-telling. The ending is bitter-sweet, I wanted so much for Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao to end up together even if I knew that it was doomed. One of my favourite moment is when Xiang Liu asks Xiao Yao who most she wanted to spend her life with, and “her mind refused to say what her heart really wanted”.
So thanks and thanks again.
Hello.its Xl who’s willing to give his all inorder for her to live.his heart life just for her to live.but xy choose jing.dont hate me I also think she chose jing cause of his kind heart and not vindictive that she could manipulate.
Thank you! Just finished the novel. One of the best Ancient Chinese novels I have read. It was bitter sweet, gripping, very heart wrenching at times. It was difficult to put it down to continue later. Chapter and story length just right and very well translated. Absolutely fantastic read. Thank for translating it.
Thanks for continuing translating this to the bittersweet end. Xiang Liu was just such a truth teller that none of us wanted to believe him. He did just what he said he would do. In my personal epilogue, I want Xiao Yao to discover the ocean within his gift someday.
This is the most heartbreaking chapter for me.. XL and his selfless love ? I can only read the final 3 paragraphs in a glance, I can’t read these 3 paragraphs too long, or think too much, or delve too deep, because it’s too painful and my heart can’t handle it.. poor XL.. I cried so much, and it hurts.. this is why I don’t prefer to read tragic stories.. such a bittersweet feeling.. I love this novel, it was amazing, it was beautiful, but if I knew, I would have never read this in the first place! From finishing a fluffy, light Ascending, Do Not Disturb to this, gosh!! I’m a wreck ?
u summed up my feelings
thanks to translator, love u koala, this story is a really a gem, so much heartache, but really worth it, finished in 5 day reading, i cried in this 5 day, but still love this story so much, thanks for sharing with the world, i think when i read a good story, i can learn from it n make me a more wise person
Thank you Koala for this beautiful and moving translation of Tong Hua’s work. I started reading your other translations first (Da Mo Yao and Yun Zhong Ge) but I enjoyed this story more.
I felt that I needed time to read a few chapters then leave some time to savour the emotionally packed chapters before continuing. Lots of tears were shed in the last volume.
Xiao Yao is very fortunate to have two very awesome guys in her life (not counting Zhuan Xu since his version of love is just using her). One puts her first in everything and gives her the love and caring that she needs. The other sacrifices everything for her and so selfless. I’m crying buckets of tears for Xiang Liu and all that he has done for Xiao Yao. It would be awesome if he had a happy ending.
I will come back and read this again! Thank you for your hard work Koala! Be Safe!
I jumped into the wrong ship. I stopped reading at chapter 40. I cannot proceed anymore. I love two others lead but Xiang Liu is the true winner in my heart. The romance between XY and J is too bland. While i love the first moment XL met XY. He literally wanted to kill her at first. She afraid of him, but later she loves teased him. Yes, J the one who always give in to XY. But the only one who made she grew and become a better version of her is always XL. I love this novel, but i also hate it. I don’t want to finish reading it and never repeat it again.
I agree with you was in the wrong ship, XL deserved a better end. I stopped reading at chapter 33, when I saw that XY was flirting with J again even he being married yet. Such indecisive FL… I think she was much immature and childish to be with XL, until the point I read. I didn´t like how the story was going then I stopped.
I want to thank you so much for translating this novel. I discovered it 3 days ago and have lost sleep and felt so many emotions during these three days because of this book. My favorite character by far is Xiang Liu. It makes me so sad that Xiao Yao will never know all that Xiang Liu did for her, but he wanted it this way. Even in his wedding gift to her, he made sure that she would never know it was from him. The wooden doll he puts his last message to her in is unopenable, even he could not open it when using half his powers. He made the sea globe and carved his last message to her into it, but made sure she would never see it. He didn’t want her to be hurt by his death and he let her believe that their hundred years together didn’t mean much to him. It frustrates me so much that she will never know just how much he loved her: enough to take everything she said to account and make all her wishes come true, and to leave no trace of it behind. The characterization of XL is done so beautifully and he is truly such a noble and selfless guy. This shines through in the soldiers’ views of XL and the reason he chooses to wear white clothes. It pains me that him and Xiao Yao could never be and it makes me lament, just like Xiao Yao did, that the person he met after his life as a death slave was Gao Gao. If it wasn’t Gao Gao, he and Xiao Yao wouldn’t have been doomed from the start. However if it wasn’t Gao Gao, then our Xiang Liu wouldn’t have become the same person he was. I remember when they first met Left Ear again and Left Ear asked Xiao Yao if she misses FFB, he tells her that for people like him and FFB, to be missed after death is a great happiness. I do hope that maybe occasionally when Xiao Yao looks at the ocean, she will remember and miss Xiang Liu.
Jing and her are a good match and it was obvious to me from the beginning that he was going to be the one she ended up with. Even if their romance didn’t have the intensity and passion that she had with XL, he was the only one who could give everything up to live a normal life with her. However I couldn’t help hoping and wishing that XL and her could somehow make it work. I loved Xiao Yao and I was happy to see that her dreams came true, even as I cried for XL. Like XL, I wish Xiao Yao a lifetime of worry free happiness.
Thank you so much for your translations! I usually never comment, but this has genuinely been one of the best books I’ve ever read and I’m so grateful for the hard work you’ve put in. I look forward to re-reading this book in the future and I hope the drama adaptation does this amazing novel justice ???
Also headcanon: this is just something I randomly thought of and I loved. I hope that because she has so much of XY’s essential blood in her, some of her future children with Jing will carry some of this blood and be able to live in the ocean too. She can take them and show them the beautiful sights under the sea, just like XY did for her and in this way, part of XY also lives on.
Thank you Koala! I read your translations years ago, and recently re-read the entire thing including this beautiful epilogue. Thank you for your work translating, it’s truly bought so much joy to so many!
I have one question maybe i missed it at the beginning, but why did Zhuan Xu and Ah Nian live in Qing Shui town? Was it just because they were travelling the world and by chance decided to settle there for a bit and open a shop?
Thank you very much! I just found out your website completely by chance. I read your translation ‘Lost You forever’ and I enjoyed not only your painstaking descriptions, but also your accuracy. My utmost respect to the author Tong Hua: wonderful! I truly hope you could continue translating Tong Hua’s novels into English for all of us, your fans. Thanks again.
ahh i always want to read xiangliu’s pov…and finally come true. altho it is so short hix hix…
farewell white general
Olá!
Obrigada por traduzir esse lindo romance.
Sua tradução alcançou muita gente,digo isso pois sou do Brasil.
Thank you so much for this translation. This book really is beautiful and I am forever grateful for your hard and passionate work. XL is so wonderful and stubborn. I love him so much, even though I agree that Jing is the right choice for XY in the end.
Koala,
Thank you so much for not giving up on this gem. I only recently started reading this book due to YangZi taking on this drama. I can’t believe all these yrs of being a silent reader. I never knew you were translating this novel. I’ve alwys been afraid to read any of Tong Hua’s novels due to the SE associated with it. However, I find that even though this novel left me quite heartbroken after reading it. I still would read it again & again. Tong Hua’a characterization & enthralling description of each chara. makes LYF such a compelling read.
That’s a beautiful translation.
I do not have the courage to watch season 2. After finishing season 1, I couldn’t help but treat myself with some spoilers by reading this. Initially plan was to read until – if ZX actually becomes the Emperor or some twist. However, completed it in one go!
Since the beginning, XL had been my favourite character & now i dont dare watch season 2! Such cruel end!
I agree with you! I love XL for XY
oh xiang lin he grew on me so much now im so pained his ending is so bittersweet. he’s released from this endless fight to honor his savior gong but the woman he’s loved selflessly doesn’t know the true depths of his love. i was hoping his death last chapter wasnt real but… sigh i hope he’s at peace </3
Many thanks for the translation. Whilst XL is my favourite and I cannot help but to feel so sorry that the book has to end this way for him. But on another note, to be on the angry side- this is all way too pathetic. What’s all the bullshits of sacrificing and suffering in silence. Perhaps Chinese customs are like this?
I changed my mind about XL, i wish our boy can have a proper ending that he well deserved.
Tears….. XL….. his passion and love, so sad that XY didn’t know all that he did for her… she thought they were just transactions… but that is the only way she can totally let go of him.
What is another novel you recommend?
Thank you for opening my eyes to this wonderful world..
Bless you.
Best book ever …this.is 2023 and the.film is out…very good film.
Hi koala..I chanced upon your translation of LYF when the drama started airing and I wanted to know more about the story. I finished the entire 51 chapters in 3 days and believe me…I was seriously taken in and blown over by this epic story. I loved the commentary you wrote before the chapter begins as it sets the tone before I read the chapter and enriches the experience exponentially.
As you and many here have commented, my fave character is defo Xiang Liu…the hidden hero that was completely selfless in giving Xiao Yao all she ever needed. I wish that there was more hints as to his thoughts of her…especially when they were together for 37 years under the ocean…did he imagine having her in his life forever if only things were different and I feel some consolation that at least he had that time with her, almost as if they had a short life together as a couple.
After reading the epilogue , I could not sleep as I kept feeling how unjust life was for Xiang Liu and how he hardly felt any sweetness in life. Here is wherw a fanfic with an alternate ending would be great!
Overall I don’t regret reading this trilogy and am now looking forward to reading the prequel Once Promised just to get to know Xiao Yao’s amazing parent’s love story.
Thanks a lot again to our tireless and amazing koala who brought us this awesome work…will be reading more of your stuff soon!
I started watching the drama and jumped straight for the novel, thank you so much for the translation. Its a wonderful story , I am so sad for XL he was the most selfless character and she never knew…my guess is he purposely stopped her for falling for him because he knew he had no future and would die fighting for his comrades.
Hello, I have now finished reading this wonderful story thanks to your translation! I started reading it because of the drama but I decided to finish the novel instead because I wanted to know the full picture.
I never knew Chinese novels could be so good. In a typical harem story you don’t expect to come across such a well paced and crafted story with even better characters and world building.
At times it’s thrilling and at times it’s deeply philosophical. This story is much more than a chick flick but really addresses happiness and how that can look for a person.
“What is happiness really? It’s merely a person getting what he or she wants, even if in the eyes of others it’s completely worthless. “
-Lost You Forever, Xiao Yao
In the end, the readers can see how each character had their own happy ending. Even if it doesn’t feel like a happy ending for us or from a different character’s perspective.
We mourn for XL and how he sacrificed for XY’s happiness. But when you realize his happiness was ultimately XY’s happiness, you can see in a way he did achieve his his happy ending.
For Gege- Black Emperor his happy ending was that he was finally able to say he did everything he could to honor the dead and now can not only protect his people and by extension XY.
Many other characters who suffered but still found some sort of happiness.
While it’s obvious that life is not a Disney movie and a happy ending can feel as elusive as Xiao Yao & Jing’s wedding date… I feel that this story encourages us the readers that by admitting the darkness in our lives may be blinding at times but to not give up hope… that even the smallest gesture of hope can snowball into enough hope to grow into something not only worth dying for but worth the living.
*Also on a side note I know it’s a reach but did XL really use up all his nine lives on those thousand arrows? Part of me wonders is he’s still alive… or maybe after his physical body was destroyed he could have started a new life in a different body or face… and we will just never know?
I understand that Jing was the only one who would keep her as his topmost priority. I don’t think XL would have been XL if he left those soldiers so even if she loved him back he couldn’t have left him, but so he was the only one who addressed her deepest fear and gave her the 3 things she wanted most.
Truly one of the best second lead written. A love so selfless that you can only cry about it helplessly…
Who is here rereading this bc of the drama rereading? Me! I am rereading this awesome book again bc of the currently airing drama that is doing such an amazing job at turning this into a live adaption. Thank you for completing this eng translation even if it’s a few years late bc it will always be here for new readers n for rereads.
Thank god I found this webpage. I’m reading this because of the drama. This translation is so awesome. This book has ruined real life relationships for me and how I look at men.
Thank you. This was an amazing story and I’m so happy you took the time to translate this for all of us who do not speak Chinese. All these years later, your posts allowed me to read this and I am so grateful.
Thank you so much for translating this amazing novel. I keep reading Xiang liu’s parts over and over again. My heart aches for him. If only there could be a fan fiction with a happy ending for him.
I started reading it along side the drama on air. Really great translation compared to a lot of the novels out there. I really appreciate it.
I wanted to say XY loved all 3 for different things they offered. Jing for security and stability. XL for adventure and fun. ZX for familiarity. I really think if XL would just open up and let himself be vulnerable then it would work. Except his insecurities made him toxic. ZX was the same and just too much overthinking there for him and trying to please everyone but himself. He ended up the most loneliest. These guys are all a mirror of her emotional wounds though, sometimes I wonder if she really was crying about Jing or just the pain of her family and loss.
I have no tears left
The translation is amazing. The tempo of the story was blowout. The story of the males lovers incredible.
I am here after watching a few episodes of “Lost you forever “ drama . I’ve searched translations of the novel and found you and I can’t say in words how thankful I am to be able to read it in English:Thank you so so much for your dedication and your time translating this masterpiece. Now I can only say this story is imprinted in heart and memory and will remain there forever . Xiang Liu is my favourite character too .. and so perfectly designed in everything by the writer .. I can’t easily accept he died .. I prefer to believe he is somewhere there .. because would be really cruel ending to his destiny and I think there was more about his story… how amazing would have been to be there a book only about him .. well I guess I think too much I want too much but I am sure I am not the only one like that
. I’ve finished season 1 of the drama and waiting for second season but hope we won’t wait for too long . Thank you again for translating of this book !
Hi Ms Koala, I haven’t seen any recent comments from you so I hope you’re doing well. I totally enjoyed your translation and prelude comments to every chapter. I wish your work could’ve been published so I can actually buy an English paperback for this book for my collection. I’ve been wanting to read Once Promised but I think the translator from other website left the project halfway in Novelcool. If there is any chance that you could translate OP, I’d be ecstatic!
I came across your page after watching a few episode of the drama without english subtitle which is abit hard. So when i found your page i am so happy that i finished reading the translated version in a few days. Thank you so much for all your hard work in translating this.
I don’t normally post any comment but I am so moved by XL’s selfless love for XY by giving her the simple life that she wished for. It is so sad that she will never know the depth of his love for her or what he went through to give her that.
While reading this i really wished that she will end up with XL as they have the most chemistry. To me this story is definitely a sad ending where both XL and XY definitely are soulmates but both chose not to do anything to cross that line. She clearly love XL more than she dare to acknowledged.
same here..
In my tiny fragment of imagination, I wanted XY to end up with XL. Theirs was a forbidden one that none dare to cross and it pains me seeing how XL suppressed his feelings for XY. Each time I watched their nearly kissed scene, I was like “damn you kids! locked your lips already”!.
in a way, i am glad Xiang liu had always been there for Xiaoyao. They are indeed my bias couple, wanted to ship them, the pairing i silently screamed to end with each.. but alas!!! its onky in my mind. Anyways.. thanks for the translated epilogue.. in a way i reminded me that loving someone.. truly you have to let go even if it hurts you the most.. as long as yiu see the happiness obtained to the person you love.. i am a sucker for those guys who fell harder for love..
Thank you so much for all of your efforts to translate this masterpiece! This novel took me from laughing to swooning to anger and then to utter despair and back again more than once. After reading this epilogue it just feels like it was written first and the story just built itself around it. Xiang Liu is hands down my favorite fictional character of all time. I haven’t read a character as complex and nuanced as this in my entire life and I am not young! This novel will stick with me forever and I know I will definitely come back time and time again.
Wow, it would be a healing moment for XY if she actually gets to open the doll at some point and finally found out that it was not just a quid pro quo relationship with XL.
Great epilogue!
I am crying a river.
Guess what. XY gave up one of his head to heal Jing (the blood from XY he requested last meet up mixed with his) so jing now can breathe under water. They are heading to the ocean. They will know soon. I am pro jing but my heart is bleeding for XL.
Ok i thought about that for thw longest time too. I agreed with what you say! Plus XL gave her the map of the ocean. She and Jing can rule the water world together.
Excelente
I bawled my eyes out! Every chapter was beautiful but the last 2 chapters few drops here and there but the waterworks came during the epilogue. My heart is bleeding for Xiang Liu. There is just this nagging feeling of “If just a little hint was left for Xiao Yao…” but then again, he would not bear to leave Xiao Yao in pain.
Thank you thank you Koala for translating this beautiful novel. Just as you said, it is worth every waking minute of reading!
How I wish XY knew how much love XL gave her… That one day, XY would know XL message hidden in the doll… That XL saved TJ for her… So heartbroken for XL…
XY loves XL so much
Thank you O. C. Koala for the translation. It was a very emotional last few chapters but all worth it. This is not the first C novel I read, but this was the best translation I have encountered. You inspire me to continue learning Hanyu.
This is definitely the one story that I wish I can isekai to to save XL T.T
Thank you for translating
This epilogue leaves heartbroken. I cry for XL … with is undying love for XY … at the same time, I cry for XY for not knowing all the sacrifices that XL did for her. She may think all of XL effort were merely transactions. But I know deep down, she knew and feel that XL loves her and that she loves him back.
Thank you so much Captain K for this wonderful work. How can I pay you for all the effort you’ve done for all of us LYF fans?
Cheers to more novels in the future. Bu this one of def for the keeps. lovlov
…so the most seemingly selfish person turns out to be the most selfless!
Thank you so much for transLating this wonderfuL chinese noveL.
My Heart Breaks for xiang Liu’s Decisions for not Letting Xiao Yao know all of his sacrifices .
Whatever I do I keep thinking of Xiang Liu’s Selfless death and cry hard.
Wow x infinity is my reaction to this novel which I have finished reading and correspondingly watched the drama. Good fiction (and dramas) linger with the reader, and I have been pondering the emotional depth of LYF. There is much to think about and treasure. IMO ZL was not able to erase himself entirely from XY’s memory even though he valiantly attempted to do so. She will continue to be reminded of him as she lives her life with Jing, but the recollections will more and more turn into positive memories since ZY is now associating with Jing full time with his positive attitude influencing her. It’s a good thing which is not always the end result in Chinese fiction or drama. Thank you, Koala, for translating and allowing non-Chinese speakers to enjoy this treasure!
Thank you so much Koala. I started reading this and never put it down. Echoing what the others mentioned: your thoughts in each episode really help guide us through this fantasy. Thank you. It has left such a big impression and I am still in pain at each male leads end.
Thank you so much Ms Koala once again for taking us through the wonderful journey of this epic book which you translated for us non chinese speaking peoples from all over the world.Its a gem of a book which has been imprinted on my mind and heart forever now.
This is my second time only to comment here as I felt I need to express my thoughts to let u know that Tonghua created this world of love romance and sacrifices and many more emotions which encompassed every nook and corner of my mind and you helped us going thru it with your beautiful translation and intro at the beginning of every chapter.
But I feel that this epilogue of my most favorite character Xiang Liu is some what very short.
Xianglu comes as a very complex and intense person/demon through out the novel.We wd want to know him in depth.I feel Tonghua shud have thrown more light on his innermost thoughts and feelings for Xiao Yao and what he really felt when he was with her as he always masked his feelings.When they were apart for years togather how did he miss her?
Why he never tried to show her his love though she always wanted to find it and hoped for it knowing they cannot be together.
Though his priority was Gong Gong but was it so impossible for him to
not take a way out for both of them and their love? Or was he hurt so much by her rejection of him that he never gave a try once also?
We feel so sad that he did so much for his beautiful love for Xiao Yao but never gave her a chance to let her see it and know it to respond.
I do feel that they both never gave their love a space to bloom and see where it goes out of their insecurities.
A person who loves and sacrifices so much for his lady love must have indepth and deep feelings and we wd have loved to know it thru his monologs.
As a reader we always want happy endings but here I feel that incompleteness and wd want Xiangliu to have more better room in novel to interprete his persona which in authors word is so ephemeral and beautiful and perfect.
I remember reading in comments by someone that this is a quadrology and LYF is third book and OP being the first.
If Tonghua is realy writing the 2nd and 4th book then I hope to see more of these wonderful characters in details and hope that my Xianglui will have a reincarnation in next book of hers to be with his dear Xiaoyao!!
Really loved this novel a lot and am sure will never forget this emotional journey with you all.God bless.
I must mention here that though I have watched few costume and contemporary Chinese dramas on OTT the LOST YOU FOREVER serial really touched my innermost chords and thus I started searching on for this novel of Tonghua.
I am so happy that I found your website and Could be part of this wonderful journey with all the other readers who loved it as much as me.
@ Ms Koala.i hope you r reading these comments as I wd really want to know what u thought about the drama where all the actors have done a good job and made it want us to watch out for 2nd season.
Do let us know.Thank you!!
A very big thank you to Ms Koala for the years of hardwork in translating the entire volume of Lost You Forever. I watched the season 1 of the C drama and impatiently waiting for the season 2. I googled and stumbled upon your translation work.
Wonderfully translated and to be able to read the story in English made me very very happy and grateful.
Again, thank you so much for your time and effort to share with us.
Thank you x1000, Ms. Koala, for translating this marvelous story. Tong Hua created such beautifully complex characters and storyline. I accidentally bumped into the LYF drama, fell in love with Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao, and searched the web for your translation.
Who wouldn’t fall in love with Xiao Yao! She’s loyal; generously gives unconditionally; she has no prejudices between human, demons, or gods; she forgives and forgets. I’m surprised there were just 4 men vying for her. As intelligent as she is, she lived as a man for hundreds of years. She probably doesn’t know how to be a girl, so it makes sense that she missed all the blatant hints from Xhuan Zu, as well as subtle hints from Xiang Liu.
As heartbreaking as it is for me to not see Xiao Yao and Xiang Liu together, the ending is the only path that would allow all the characters to remain true to themselves. There was no other possible ending. Tong Hua wrapped the story up so beautifully! Perhaps Tencent drama can grant Xiang Liu some justice by letting Jing accidentally let something slip so that the intelligent Xiao Yao would figure how deep Xiang Liu feelings for her were.
Better yet, maybe Tencent can take some artistic licenses and give us an alternate ending. In Chapter 46, if Gong Gong can put down his pride, think of his people, and negotiate a peace treaty with Zhuan Xu. Then it would relieve Xiang Liu of his duty to Sheng Nong, Hong Jiang, and his fallen comrades. After which, he can pursue Xiao Yao openly. I feel that this would be the only path to happy ending for XiaoLiu. It must happen early in Chapter 46 – before FengLong’s assassination.
I really love this epilogue….. My god I just can’t help but cry unknowingly
Though it is supposed to be a happy ending but feels more like a sad one and specially after this epilogue we can imagine how much XL love XY that he don’t want her to feel upset over his death and hide his love away.. His way of loving is really great and has to bear his beloved one to hate and misunderstand him. And she would never be able to know what he did for her.
Though she always complain wishing if she would have met him earlier than his foster father then he might be different and treat her better. But she just won’t ever know that he not only just fulfilled duty but also did so much for her
This story really breaks my heart but I can’t help but think about it again and again
I want to sincerely thank you for all the time and effort you put into translating this book into English. This is the only translation I could find anywhere. It is such a selfless gift you have given! Thank you so much for bringing this literary masterpiece to another audience. I thank you!
Thank you so much for putting your effort translating the precious novel for us to enjoy. Luckily you shared this precious work. I was so preoccupied reading until I finished and get the whole story. I found this translation thanks to the drama they only aired until the episode where Zhuan Xu was named as the new emperor. I can’t wait so I seek for the translation. And thanks to you.
Well,I just finished reading so I am still unable to move on. Why does the writer do not make it a happy ending for Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao… Why…..? The feeling is there. Xiang Liu sacrificed a lot for her, did so much for her but of to nowhere but a sad ending. Making it Jing in the end…… Hmmm… Severely injured by Hou’s wrath… I already guessed that he will be awaken later on…. The part I cannot accept easily because it made the story a typical happy ending story, just like some other books. Now I cannot wait for the drama to be continued to season 2.
Thank you so much for putting your effort translating the precious novel for us to enjoy. Luckily you shared this precious work. I was so preoccupied reading until I finished and get the whole story. I found this translation thanks to the drama they only aired until the episode where Zhuan Xu was named as the new emperor. I can’t wait so I seek for the translation. And thanks to you.
Well,I just finished reading so I am still unable to move on. Why does the writer do not make it a happy ending for Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao… Why…..? The feeling is there. Xiang Liu sacrificed a lot for her, did so much for her but of to nowhere but a sad ending. Making it Jing in the end…… Hmmm… Severely injured by Hou’s wrath… I already guessed that he will be awaken later on…. The part I cannot accept easily because it made the story a typical happy ending story, just like some other books. Now I cannot wait for the drama to be continued to season 2.
I cried my eyes out when I realised the big bellied doll was carved by XL which made XY laughs. That’s too much to handle even more than his death that he cared, his last wish, farewell gift to XY.
may i ask? why could xiaoyao and tushan jing disappear completely once they leave because they choose to be ordinary people as stated in chapter 51? aint they once used to live as ordinary people before too but still can return to their deity world but why this time they couldn’t? any details explaination for this?
Koala I should have written this comment last year the first time (of many) that I read your translation.
Thank you so much for all the time and effort you put into this translation and sharing it here so English-reading fans could enjoy this incredible story. It is so, so appreciated!
Bonjour
la première saison du drama est vraiment calqué sur le livre et j’apprécie beaucoup… pour moi le meilleur personnage est bien entendu Xiang Liu 
son amour est pur et désintéressé il lui a tout donné : la façon de se protéger en lui apprenant le tir a l’arc, l’homme sur qui s’appuyer en sauvant Jing en sachant qu’il sera choisi, et un lieu où se rendre en lui donnant une de ses vies qui lui a permis de respirer et de vivre sous l’eau…il ne s’est jamais vante de ses actions pour elle si bien qu’elle est persuadé qu’il s’en fiche royalement d’elle alors qu’il a pensé a elle a chaque moment…en prévoyant un arc spécialement pour elle, la coquille qui l’a sauvera sur la fin… jusqu’à son cadeau de mariage… tellement émouvant et d’ailleurs l’acteur dans le drama l’incarne parfaitement bien 
fan de xiang Liu 
Je viens de découvrir le drama LYF sur viki j’attends la saison 2 avec impatience !!! En attendant ne pouvant plus tenir je suis tombé sur votre traduction du livre… merci beaucoup pour tout ça !!! J’aime tellement ce roman
thanks, Koala for this beautiful translation! I read it last year and just reread the last few chapters again. The so-called S2 was sadly a tad disappointing to say the least so I had to go back to the novel to get some closure… again… Wishing us all a lifetime of worry free happiness
Dear Koala
I am so grateful for all your hard and excellent work translating this novel. I was so happy to have come across this after some Googling, after watching both LYF series but felt some bits were missing and wanted to read the novel to gain a greater depth of understanding but couldn’t find it in English anywhere! Your blog, translation and other comments here have helped me understand and appreciate Tong Hua’s novel so much more. I never knew Chinese novels could be so beautiful – you have thoroughly hooked me!
I really hope Tong Hua writes a sequel. After all, don’t demons get reborn if they’ve had a good life helping others..especially in such a selfless way? I seem to remember something vague about that. (All the deals XL made were necessary to protect and feed his army. Everything was for someone else. Nothing was for himself… So tragic!) Jing isn’t that well after all. I think XY wants to go to the ocean to find XL’s final resting place. It would be great if she could uncover the truth of the doll when she finds that poisoned island.
Tong Hua, please please write a sequel for XY and XL. He deserves some happiness at last. Also for hundreds of years later with CX and XY. I just can’t let them go like this.
I feel much the same as you do! The way the story ended has left readers pining for more and searching for that final closure. There is a lingering desire to want to see XL reincarnated into a different path, and maybe that is worth exploring and seeing how life could be different
Koala, thank you so much for translating this Chinese novel. It is my first, and I daresay might remain my most favorite. It is like a treasure I would never have understood had it not been translated. I only know as much Mandarin as a 2-year old and being able to enjoy the novel in such a way as an “explanation” alongside watching the live action series, is a wonderful experience.
Xiang Liu has also captivated my heart as a reader. When all’s said and done, it was so masterfully written how his love and care for her existed on an entirely different plane, so set apart, having its own uniqueness, if there were a term to describe it, it would probably be “holy.” Although outwardly he may never have been understood fully and completely by the characters looking at him, the readers now see how he loved Xiao Yao so deeply and purely.
Just as his meetings with her always felt like he was taking her into a space so far removed from the earth and ground where the troubles of reality were loud, so has his love for her existed on a plane so far removed—for him to even rationally consider the option that he himself did not have the ingredients to her complete hapiness, like the masterful general the author describes him to be, he has selected a battle plan that, in the end, met all of Xiao Yao’s desires. He probably would’ve already known that if he sacrificed someone in order to throw himself into that plan, one or two other criteria would probably not have checked out.
Thank you, so much Koala! Thank you as well for your short introduction going into every chapter. I feel like you have been a silent companion as I read along this story.
It is my second time reading “Lost you forever” and the delight was even bigger than the first time. A roller-coaster of emotions, but the “Epilogue” is what really burns my heart. It is the “what could have been” if…. Of course TJ’s love is boundless and eternal, and he is the most suited for XY. But without XL, there is no TJ and no happy ending. XL selfless love reaches the sublime level, and the heart wrenching beauty of it will always make me cry.
Thank you so, so much for your translation!
I found this website after finishing the second season of LYF, needing to know Xiang Liu’s inner thoughts for each scene. I am so happy I found this site (thx koala, amazing work!), but was so disappointed to discover that XL is the only main character without an inner monologue
Mostly, I -needed- to know what he was planning to do if Xiao Yao confirmed he was the man she most wanted to spend the rest of her life with, while they were alone together in Qing Shui Town, after her failed wedding. Was it just important for him to know that he held that special spot, to make all the sacrifice worth it? Or for this scene (and others where he let himself be vulnerable to her possible/likely rejection) was he actually considering abandoning his principals for a life with XY?
I was also curious if the book would tell us, for the scenes where he appears to lose control and threatens XY with his demon essence, if he did so on purpose, to keep her from getting too close, or if he really can’t control it. Especially the scene outside the gambling hall after Left Ear gets his freedom, where he’s moved to touch her cheek, but pulls it away. He had already diffused the intimacy of the situation by asking if she was worthy of saving him, so it would seem he truly lost control after she mentions Gong Gong again. And if that’s the case, maybe he decided they can’t be together, not because of his devotion to a lost cause, but because he’s not able to control his demon side and could actually unintentionally hurt her one day.
But alas, it seems that the book leaves it all up to interpretation and the drama version mostly did as well
XL is such a great character, wish he could live on for more adventures in volumes to come.
Similar to a previous post, I choose to believe that XL didn’t die on the battlefield and is actually impersonating Jing
Because of Jing kissing her on the curve of her neck after she finds out XL died. And after Jing comes back to life, and Miao Pu asks him “who are you”, he replies “who do you think I am?”. It seems a little too irreverent for Jing’s character and sounds an awful lot like “who do you want me to be?” I believe this not because it makes any story structure sense, but for my sanity 
Maybe XL found Jing in the ocean and -tried- to save him, but he was too far gone and only had days left to live, so they made a deal to swap faces, so that Jing would die in battle and XL could marry XY. How did poison leak out of Jing and kill everything on the island? IDK!! Magic?
Your theory of Jing really being ZL at the end makes the ending so much more palatable for me. XY and zL are soul mates and her heart will feel empty without him in her life. Believing this ending is the only way I can stop crying
Hi Koala – I started watching Lost You Forever the drama first, and then found my way here to your site, and your translated novel. Thank you so much for all the time – years! – and energy you gave to translating this novel so wonderfully. I can’t believe I am crying over XL again, and when XY finds out what CZ did to Jing….I’ve watched the drama twice, it’s my favourite, and now this novel is such a good novel too. Thank you!! I also watched Scarlet Heart the drama and loved it, and read your translated bits of it. Because of you I watched Ballad of the Desert (called Song of the Desert as a drama) – I finally found it online – and am in love with it now too. So sometime in the new year, once I have done thinking about my favourite characters – XY! XL! Cang Zuan! and yes, Jing, who like his character, is steadfast and outlasts almost everyone in waiting for his Xiao Yao. Once these characters and their story has settled a bit, I will start reading your translation of Ballard of the Desert. I am now a great admirer of Tong Hua as the writer of all three of these novels. All three of the dramas are among my very favourite C-dramas. Thank you for sharing her work for all of us to find her too. Also I enjoy your site very much. Happy holidays to you!
LLORE TANTO YA MAS DE 3 SEMANAS Y SIGO TRISTE SIENTO QUE ME FALTO EL FINAL FELIZ PAR YL REALMENTE EL LA AMABA MUITO NUNC ALE FALLO FUE EL REALMENTE EN EL QUE PODIA CONFIAR EL QUE HIZO TODO POR HACERLA FELIZ, POR FAVOR DANOS UN FINAL DON EL FELIZ POR FAVOR LO MERECE , NO PUEDO CONSOLARME ,ME DOLIO TANTO ESTE FINAL PARA EL , NO LO MERECIANOOOOOO POR FAVOR , 3 TEMPORADA POR FAOR DONDE EL ESTA VIVO EN LA MUNECA , JIN MUERE POR ALGUNA NEFERMEDAD Y ELLA SE QUEDA SOLA RECORDANDO A YL POR 300 ANOS CUANDO DESCUBRE AL CARESE LA MUNECA E ABRISE QUE E YL EL QUE LA AMABA SIEMPRE EL QUELA CUIDO Y AL QUE AMO POR SIEMPRE ELLA, AHI ELLA VA A BUSCARLO PERO SUS LAGRIMAS EN EL MAR LO LLAMAN E UNA LUZ ASI COMO TENIA LA LAGRIMA DE ELLA , LO PERMITE VOLVER SOLO CUANDO ELLA LE DEMSUETRE SU VERDADERO AMOR EL REVIVA PARA SER FELICES COM HIJOS CORRIENDO A SUALREDEDOR COMO SE IMAGINO EL… POR FAVOR POR FAVOR Q UE FEO FINAL,,,