Man, marriage in real life is messy and can be dirty and definitely is between the two people that signed the social contract for better or for worse. But it’s hard not to have bystander commentary and it’s quite one-sided in the case of C-actress Zhang Jia Ni and her husband who was caught going into a hotel with a young aspiring C-actress/influencer and exiting hours later. This one is pretty cut and dry and I don’t even think Zhang Jia Ni and her husband is responding to the scandal because denying seems even more ridiculous. The thing netizens want to know is if she is divorcing his ass, two young kids notwithstanding, and a report came out this week that she was moving towards divorce and then her agency came out with a statement that it was “fake news!” So the cheating isn’t take news but the divorce is, lol way to make good decisions gurl. I’m actually only half chiding her because she can do whatever she wants including staying with him but it feels especially cringe-inducing to watch on the outside with the purported mistress a 21 year old student in acting school who is also an influencer with a SNS following named Shao Jing posting selfies in the post scandal days showing off her name brands in an expensive car and also writing stuff about how she’s living her best life.
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If she wants him to keep stepping on her, whatever, ultimately she is an adult and it's her (to me incomprehensible) choice.
But you know why her choice is a choice of a selfish weakling ? Those poor kids. Children grow and realise pretty young what is happening in a marriage. They will get to hear about all of this. And then they get to go to school where they will have this repeatedly thrown in their faces. Kids are cruel monsters. Cheating itself will damage them and her staying will reinforce that.
Now that's who I feel sorry for. The kids
Maybe she cant help herself to standing alone and got widow status!wkwkwk
Judgmental ppl. jumping to conclusions. Maybe she is trying to find the best way forward to divorce but it take time to find good lawyer and best to do it quietly to also protect her children and prevent destruction of relationships. It isn’t just about their relationship as husband and wife, but also as parents. Doing things slowly or quietly will also defuse the media attention too.
+1
It is no doubt PAINFUL for her, and toxic to self. It's an ongoing affair, not a done deal one time.
BUT ....
We're not her, nor flies on her household wall to know what is really happening. Every divorce can be different - folks often say be the better person but even the higher dignified person is human when the other is playing dirty low blows at every turn. Esp with kids.
Even women in domestic violence/cycle of abuse situations sometimes return to transition homes 7x before they see clarity
Especially with kids in the picture. It seems like "playing God with their lives" making this decision to impact the kids (YES better off thinking she's a WIDOW instead).
The world also comes up with conflicting messages:
forgive and forget
once a cheater, always a cheater
you have to fight all the way, do whatever it takes to salvage your marriage etc - there will always be ups and downs
Maybe she's confused. Even in the Seperation process ... folks yo yo because they remember the happier times/ try to self blame/guilt trip or whatever about what they're not going well enough (depends on the person and their ego = some blame others right away)
Maybe she's the one with the mega $ earnings, and divorcing him NOT only means she has to fork out some $ to him .... she loses on current-potential earnings bec CF-bosses/fans can be damn fickle.
Then there are the die-die religion will not allow types.(some quote this, but there're other agendas like MIL is loaded, and son is the only grandchild in the family or whatever. I see HK-Taiwan's Hsieh Ling-ling 谢玲玲
At the end of the day ...send her well wishes.
maybe she will reach clarity that parents in cold-war and conflict arguments is NOT ideal ROLE-MODELLING.
Just like the traditional cultural mindset (so many) that if a marriage is not working, pop out a baby! omg
NOT like sticking together for some FACADE of happy families (so many out there is not a sin - even with strangers, if you people observe-read, you can always tell which couple is quite DISCONNECTED or 'off' despite the show they put on