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Lost You Forever Chapter 28: Yard Full of Spring Air, Worry at the Corner Wall — 67 Comments

  1. Dearest ms. K,

    I so much luv your detailed translation.

    Thank U so much for your hard work and indulgence.

    Best Reagrds *xoxo*

  2. Thank you guys for the encouragement and thanks. I means a lot to me. This is truly an arduous backbreaking project fueled by love for a fantastic literary work. I definitely need the encouragement to keep on going!

    • Thank you so much for continuing the translation! i look forward to sundays just for this. thank you thank you.

      • It makes my week just having another chapter to look forward to. Please pace yourself and while I would love to have the chapters come in rapid succession, I know how arduous it must be to translate such a long novel. Love your translations Ms K. Fighting!!!

    • Absolutely truly grateful! Always look forward to whatever you post and wait patiently till the next one!

    • It’s the least we can do to thank you for the hard work of translating such a big book to us!

      We really appreciate it!

      BTW, I love when I see a pink box in the comments! 🙂 It’s not only your translations that I like, but also your comments. Your thoughts about the book and how you highlight some important parts that we have to pay attention for later. Your introduction to each chapter, they’re always important too.

    • OMG I just wanna say thank you! I just love your hard work. This book is amazing.

      P.s. I hope something comes out good on the next chapter, I feel sorry for XY

    • “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” -Blessed Teresa of Calcutta-

      I can’t tell you how many smiles have appeared on my face when I’ve seen you’ve posted another wonderful chapter. Thank you for devoting so much of your time in translating this beautiful novel. I thoroughly enjoy your writing.

    • Thank you Sooo much for sharing this amazing arduous project with us.. (To me is like crack) I’m like … Is it Sunday, sunday, Sunday yet!!??? Lol

      Your a truly GODDESS!

  3. Poor Jing.He must have aged tremendously, managing his empire plus unwanted “baby” – none mentioning how he raised the baby with the “BITCH”

    I recalled he once told Xiao Yao he cant let go of XY..yet he knows XY deserves a better man.

    Poor Zhuan again! From his looks, he wants to make XY his own but yet cant as XY wants ONE MAN in her life.

    If I was born in this generation, I will force Xiang Liu to run away with me, abandoning his Sheng Nong army 🙂 I rather have XL than feeble Jing and power-thirsty ZHuan. *lol*

  4. Thank you for translation. XY, feel bad that she had to choose one she’s not in love with. Wedding better noy go thru.
    I would rather have a great short love then one long not in love but try to and respect only. Sad sad sad.
    Now I want to knoe if she will find her true love.

  5. Xiao Yao said something so utterly revealing to Feng Long, I have to highlight it in case folks miss the statement since this was such a meaty dense awesome chapter.

    She said “the one with the feelings has no ability, the one with the ability has no feelings”.

    She clearly weighs and has evaluated using her brain what the two men in her life mean to her and what to expect from each based on the information she knows. It’s so devastating that she doesn’t know the one with ability also has feelings, he just can’t act on it.

    • she is referring to zhuan xu right? not XL.. i keep wishing for an alternative story where Xiao Yao and zhuan xu can have their happy ending together.

      • I think she means XL. He appears in her dreams. XL knows her. Saved her life. He even loves passing time the same way she does. And he taught her mad archery skills to fight back. She definitely feels and knows him as a soulmate. (Goodness, what girl wouldn’t?) If not for life’s circumstances, XY would totally have had the balls and brains to win him over. Haha. She just doesn’t dare go there because any rejection would likely pain her – she knows she doesn’t have that kind of emotional wherewithal.

    • I caught that too and unfortunately Xiang Liu not being able to act on his feelings is the same as Jing…both lack the ability but have the feelings…same as Zhuan Xu

      • I agree with you hipployta! ALL THREE have feelings but NO ability to act on it! At one point while reading the book, I got soooooo fed up with all three leading men than I just want to bash them all in the head. Hahahaha

    • I noticed that line and knew she was talking about Jing and XL. Only if XL showed his feelings, XY would prob follow him around trying to get his support but in the end he would prob sacrifice himself since he wouldnt be able to kill ZX because of XY.

    • I read that and was confused by who she meant was supposed to “have the ability but has no feelings”. I thought XY must be aware of at least a little bit of feeling from XL… but if she said that, clearly she isn’t aware. Thanks for explaining!

      So here she admits Jing and Xiang Liu are the men in her heart. It’s like you said, it’s devastating to know he has feelings for her and she doesn’t know. Do you think if she knew he had feelings (seriously, how can she not know??? or even suspect??) for her, she would do something differently?

      • I think she suspects (she’s no emotional dunce). Except there is this thing called the voodoo bug, yeah? So I imagine that every time she may get an inkling – or feel something, XL is very good at deflecting to the point where she won’t delve into this suspicion any further. XL is very good at using the fair exchange mechanism. Except he saved her life by using one of his, so that is huge (and a pretty good indication). So my guess is that having XL in her life means not exploring the relationship angle any further since XL clearly is so rah-rah resistance army. He knows he cannot give her what she wants. So for XL, even Jing is super important.

    • I’m confused as to whether she is referring to Xuan Zu or Xiang Liu in the statement “the one with the ability has not feelings”. One on hand, it doesn’t seem like Xiang Liu would fit it as even if she thought he had feelings and ability, there seems to be other things in the way as in he’s the enemy? It seems to fit Xuan Zu better but she’s never thought of him as potential.

    • IMO
      1st one is Jing ( feeling & 0 ability)
      2nd is Xiang Liu ( 0 feeling & all ability )
      Because to me she didn’t REALLY gave a romantic thought to Zhuan Xu. She new all along his purpose, his ultimate goal. And I get the feeling of BIG BROTHER and he is also the only one she hasn’t kiss. (correct me if I’m wrong)

      • I say XL for 2nd because is like you said she doesn’t know everything he has done her & given her. Including that he has feeling for her 🙁

  6. First, thank you for the release, seeing a new chapter come out brought overwhelming happiness in my heart. For that alone, thank you so much.

    But, as I read on, I find myself hard on breathing as I got to the part that FL was proposing to XY, my instinct told me, “Oh no, its not going to be goog, no no no no.” And hell, how true it was. It’s just the same sadness I felt as the story unfolds how Jing’s weakness broke everything. Ms.K, please, please, Oh please, I won’t mind it this time. Please tell me, send it to my email if you don’t want to spoil others about it, I’m just short my breathing it’s almost killing me, please assure me that XY and FL’s wedding will never gonna happen. Something will break it right?

  7. Thank you so much for your hard work!
    I also apprreciate that you have a regular day for posting, my Sundays/Mondays are much much better now :–) Thank you.

    And now for the story, I actually think that watching a paint to dry can sometimes bring a spiritual and inner peace… :–)
    At the beginning I was all “Noooo, noo arranged marriage and boredom!”, but towards the end of the chapter I realised that Feng Long was growing on me. He looks capable and responsible. He will keep his promises, he will respect Xiao Yao, he will be faithful and he will support her brother. And his loss of composure when he was leaving Xiao Yao may suggests a slow passion being born… some water has undercurrents… and can become wild ;–)

    If there is any danger, then it is his ambition (he is a small copy of Zhuan Xu).

    (That above was all written by my Reason. My Heart screams: Xiang Liuuuuuuu!!!)

  8. Well, I was overcome with emotion regarding XY and FL’s engagement and I was first lost in emotion and was not able to think of the rest. Now that I took a few more breath’s, whew, hold on, did that really happen? ZX is now the Sheng Nong’s emperor! That should be something that I should be celebrating, it truly was unexpected! He should be happy himself but he seem not happy to me, as he watch helplessly his love getting engaged with someone else, more because she wants to support ZX, not due to her own happiness. In the end, its still devastating, and I thought I will end this next comment with a more cheerful end. Sigh.

    And reading your last comment, do you mean that FL loves XY romantically too? Eh?

  9. i didnt comment for three chapters coz i was soooooo sad of my ship, jing~xy. i wish my jing will get back his beloved xy.
    huhujuhu!
    captain K ! hold on, we are so many following ur translations.
    please see it to the end and THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!

  10. Thank you Koala for gifting us with such a breathtakingly beautiful story. I appreciate your hard work!!

    Seriously, every chapter makes me want to cry as the fates of each character becomes more complicated and bittersweet.
    Xiao yao remincising her simple life at Qing shui town was so heartbreaking that I realize how drastic her life has changed since then. I really do find Xiao yao and Feng Long to be the “perfect” match, and Feng long really has all the “qualities” as Xiao yao’s lifelong companion. However, my heart breaks when I know Xiao yao deserves so much more than Feng Long and she is missing the love aspect in this relationship. I feel so conflicted it hurts even more.

  11. Thank you for translating another chapter…this is not the path I wish for Xiao Yao but it appears to be the one she will take…hoping the third book implies a better outcome

  12. Thank you so much for translating! 🙂 It makes my day just that little bit (read: a lot) brighter and happier when I see a new chapter 😀

  13. Thanks Koalas 😉 This chapter is so loaded. Did FL not realize that XY mentioned 2 men in her life? Shouldn’t he be surprised and curious abt the identity of the other love of XY? XL,XL, I wished he was present when XY revealed her 2 loves…

  14. Why it’s so upset? Anyone can tell me who Xiao Yao end up with? I really wish it is Jing. Oh my pity Jing! U really took my heart with u in a sorrow…

  15. Thank you so much for another chapter!

    I don’t know about other people, but I’m not the least bit bored by the political stuff. I think it’s interesting and it sheds light in how a lot of characters feel. For example Xing Yue… I always thought she was in love with Zhuan Xu, but now I know she doesn’t let her heart rule over her mind. I kind of warmed up a bit about Feng Long… he really wouldn’t be a bad choice for XY…

    I haven’t read Once Promised, but I really like the Yellow Emperor and the Grand Emperor in this book. It’s good to know they are making up for all the wrong they did to people they knew. It must be bittersweet to those who have read the book.

    Xiao Yao remains my favorite character! I really have no idea what going to happen to her by the end of the book… I just hope it’s a happy ending. I think all the men in her life are worthy of her in their own way… Of course, I have my favorite (Xiang Liu), but XY is so smart that I know whatever she decides will be the best for her. And that’s what I’m rooting for.

    Ms Koala… thanks so much for you effort in translating this wonderful book! I wouldn’t be able to read it without you! I’m patiently waiting for the next chapter.. thank you thank you!

    • Same here, i luv all the political tid bits. Its kinda like a lesson in history, personality & perceptions.

      Im kinda wondering, since ZX is already XUan Yuan & Sheng Nong emperor….he doesn’t need to marry that two faced and backstabbing Xing Yue anymore, ZX just have to marry the one who really luvs him for himself…the bratty Ah’nian. Marry her and be his Empress to rule the 3 kingdoms….

      • He needs a Sheng Nong Princess so Xing Yue is going to happen…and marrying Ah Nian is a simple way to merge the kingdoms too

      • So he needs Xing Yue for the Sheng Nong, Ah Nian for Gao Xing… wouldn’t he need to marry someone from Xuan Yuan too?

        And the big question is: who, from all the girls, is going to be his empress?

  16. Jing has no gumption.You get deceived by everyone around you and you just wallow in misery like that? You are supposed to be really smart. Where is that “smart” that brought Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao to Sheng Nong. I’m so fed up with you. Poor Xiao Yao. But why do you have to settle?

    What’s with Feng Long’s jade? Did it once belong to Ah Heng or did he do something to offend Ah Heng? I wonder how this will unfold.

    Tong Hua’s brain is amazing. So many details are sprinkled everywhere. I keep holding my breath to read on and check your site every single day, so many times a day like a mad woman. Thank you for the translation! I can’t believe you are a Mom, working woman and do whatever other things along with the huge task of translation. Please stay healthy and enjoy a full life you are having. Thank you!!

  17. Only Xiao Yao would be that straightforward when it comes to a proposal. Most of her frankness comes from the fact that it was Feng Long, but he does raise several valid points. I prefer the Xing Yue now over the Xing Yue later, who wants to have her cake and eat it. She marries Zhuan Xu for prestige as Empress, and then she wants his love when she wasn’t willing to give up her pride at this point in time.

    Xiao Yao would be content with that marriage, to have all the freedom she thinks she wants. But what she really wants is to be treated as the most precious person of someone. I really do feel for Shao Hao, but this is all a hell of his own making. I can sympathize with him all I want, but it doesn’t change the fact that he would stand in this place again even if he could redo everything.

    I don’t believe the idea that the Yellow Emperor has grown “soft” in his old age. He plays both Zhuan Xu and Cang Lin, making it seem as if Cang Lin was going to become the successor. If Zhuan Xu were any less filial and firm in his decision, and decided to strike an initiative, his crown would not be as legitimate as it could be. He would have to face doubts about his succession everyday. Even if he won, he would not be as effective a ruler. By being who he is, Zhuan Xu won over the people and showed that he isn’t the ruthless Yellow Emperor despite succeeding his crown.

  18. This chapter was such hilarity to me. It don’t know if it was the author’s wording or Koala’s translation, but it just struck a funny cord with me.
    What’s Feng Long going to do when he realizes his fiancee desires not just good food, good conversation, and companionship; but also she wants to be bedded … every night … OR she’s gonna flip the table I tell you !!
    The fact that he thinks he’s just marrying a guy, LOL.
    What if Feng Long had met Xiao Yao when she was Xiao Liu, would he have fallen madly, deeply, etc..
    With coronation and all, I was hoping to get another tidbit about the Gui Fang clan, but alas, they’re mysterious you know .. so I’m not too upset. LOL.
    Poor XY, every guy is almost perfect, where will she find another? Except for his one glaring flaw.
    Poor ZX, caught in a loop. If he had been crown earlier would XY decide to marry FL. But if XY had not secure FL’s support, thereby the middle plains, and solidifying ZX’s support, would the crown have been offered to him? What was that about giving everything he has to get everything he wants.
    So futile are the heroes and villains of old, who fought for glory and the big picture, only to have their grandchildren marry each other to create a new future.
    I really appreciate how you (Koala) deftly included the important conversations so as to give us context into each character’s motivation. It was such a pleasure reading. Thank you.

  19. For once I really want to know..who will XY choose if both men she met in her life have the ability and show their feeling to her. Xiang Liu or Jing? Which one..xiao yao? If both are willing and able to leave everything behind to be with her..

    koala..thank you so much for all the time and effort. I love your writing so much. Your thoughts and comments are as interesting as the novel itself! Jia you! And we will wait patiently for every chapter!

  20. oh,Hi. Ms Koala. i agree with you about feng long’s feeling. in the line where he wants to caress Xiao Yao’s cheeks(i wish he just did it). somehow i believe he cares more than those calculating reasons. but he must have reason not do so.
    thanks for the translation.

  21. Dear Ms. Koala,
    First and foremost, I’ll like to say thank you! Thank you so much for translating this book into English so that people who can’t understand Chinese like me can also have the chance to enjoy this beautiful story. Seriouslyyyyy. If it isn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been introduced to LYF and all of its glory. You are awesome!
    This is the first time that I’m leaving a comment on your site and it’s all because of how much LYF has blown my mind away. At first I was hesitant to read this story because I felt like by not reading the first book first, I probably won’t be able to appreciate the plot in the second one and will not be interested in the characters. But I was sooooo wrong! After just one chapter, I was hooked. xD
    Not only do I love the world that Tong Hua has built in LYF, but I also just can’t seem to get over how amazing all her characters are. Tong Hua is literally the master of creating such swoon-worthy male leads, so much so that I don’t even know who to root for. Even though I am Xiang Liu biased, I find myself hopping ships every other chapter because all of the other leads are also just as dreamy when they have their moments. xD And it’s not even just the heartthrobs that are capturing my heart, as corny as that sounds. There is just something so special about Xiao’s relationship with her dad (The Grand Emperor). I love how much he loves her, even when he knows that she isn’t his biological daughter. The fact that she is the daughter of his ex-wife’s lover changes nothing when it comes to his love and affection for her. It just shows that family goes beyond blood-relations. I also love her relationships with her adopted family in Qing Shui Town, her rocky-turned-sweet relationship with her sister Ah Nian, and so on.
    I love LYF so much so that I finished all 28 of the translated chapters in less than 24 hours. I am THAT addicted! Haha. I am very excited to read what has yet to come. Looking forward to what Fate has in store for our heroine. Again, thank you for translating!

  22. Thank you Captain K!
    I am so sad that XY would just marry to help her GeGe out. I think XY deserves to know the true feelings of XL and ZX.

  23. Ms. Koala,

    I seriously stalk your page everyday for updates on LYF. I am extremely appreciative of your work, so THANK YOU! Everytime a new chapter comes out, I drop everything I am doing to read your transalations, giddy like a child and ice cream. I’ve no discipline and so I know the spoilers but I sill look forward to the details and their journey.

    Interestingly, I commented in previous chapters about how I missed Xiao Yao being Xiao Liu and her simple days with Shi Qi. It was quite sad to read that she definitely misses her Xiao Liu days as well. Sigh, I feel for Xiao Yao.

  24. Xiao Yao’s observation that “the one who has feelings has no ability, the one who has ability has no feelings” refers to Jing and Xiang Liu.

    The translation of it is accurate as the original is 有心的无力,有力的无心. But the word 心 means heart and in this context means more than feelings, i.e. liking someone. It also means desire and wanting something. So what Xiao Yao means is the one who intends to be with her has no ability to be with her, and the one who doesn’t intend to be with her has the ability.

    She doesn’t mean Xiang Liu doesn’t “like” her or that he has no “feelings” for her. She means he doesn’t want to be with her but can if he wanted to, whereas Jing wants to be with her but can’t. Only someone as clueless about romance as Feng Long wouldn’t pick up that Xiao Yao referred to TWO guys in that statement, and all he knows about is Jing! Any of Xiao Yao’s three men who love her would have sensed the enormity of what she said in a heartbeat.

    • Thanks so much! We so appreciate your translations and your hard work. I’m completely addicted! Can “No Heart” also be translated has “mean” or does it not work with this particular character?

    • Koala you created this blog as a platform for discussion, so in that spirit I want to put forward that; Feng Long does not know Xiao Yao’s relative recent gender change, so he could not have deduced that Xiao Yao meant 2 guys concurrently!!
      Even if he did pick up on that reference, I don’t think it would matter to him anyways. Because that is just 2 guys that are already out of the picture, no competition to him.
      I think he is as clueless about romance as Xiao Yao is careless about life. In that, he has thought it through, and has already decided that it wasn’t important to him.
      I love the way Tong Hua tells us one thing by mirroring that in another situation. For example, we knew Xing Yue was in love with ZX, so when they parted, she stared until he was out of sight. The same thing happened between Jing and XY, we can inference that they liked each other. Another example, when XY and Jing were stealing moments with each other, they felt as though they were having an affair (complete with a love shack). The same wording was used describing how Hou and YY disappeared at the same time. I brought this up because, in this chapter, ZX was not hurt by Xing Yue’s actions because he didn’t love her. The fact that there were 2 men in Xiao Yao’s heart wouldn’t bother Feng Long because he doesn’t love her at this point. I’ll wait to see what happens in future chapters. That’s my take on this right now.

    • Oops sorry for accidentally pressing Post.

      Thank you Koala for your hard work, passion and commitment on this translation work! Very grateful.

      Glad ZX Being crowned is out of the way. I really was expecting this, and it came as no surprise. I just knew the old man was pulling a fast one on everyone.

      It’s so heart rending the situation of XY’s marriage. Thanks for explaining that very insightful sentence. That clarified it very much for me. I totally agree that XL does not want to be with her because he deliberately chooses so despite their hearts. He better than anyone would know her heart for him. It’s sad that FL has no inkling of XY’s deep thoughts, that he has no idea the meaning of a gift. She knows he does not have her in his heart and that is why gift giving loses it’s meaning.

      Looking forward to the unraveling of the rest of the tale. Indeed Tong Hua’s pen is so magical. I managed to borrow the three books from the library. Only managed to read an eensy bit..

      Thanks too for all the community sharing, love it!

  25. Thank you Miss Koala! 🙂 I just want you to know how big the impact of your Lost You Forever translation is to me.. After following your translation, I went to Beijing for work, and I made time to bookstore in Wangfujing to get the complete set of the books (3 volumes). I somehow managed to read all of the three volumes in Chinese, and with my kind of Chinese proficiency, this is definitely an achievement for me.
    The book speaks to me in many different levels, and reading your beautiful translation makes me able to even appreciate it more. I admire Tong Hua’s thoughtfulness and imagine her storyboard would be as complicated as Japanese metro map yet all so coherent (except that when in Qing Shui town Jing avoided Ah Nian for unknown reason, unknown even until the story ends because it doesn’t seem that they know each other?). I also talk about LYF to my friends and ask them to read it too so we can share about it. All of these happened because of your translation project! 🙂

  26. Thank you for all your hard work on translating this novel. I’m glad I found it when it’s almost done being translated otherwise I’d go out of my mine waiting. I hope XY doesn’t get married to FL ; ; it’ll just be too sad. It’s to bad that she can’t just run away and life a simple life anymore b/c of her being a princess >.<! But all I have to say is this wedding better not go thru!

  27. I feel so bad for Zhang Xu, he is like a walking zombie being consumed by the throne. His ability to be carefree and have emotions was no longer, created by the ripples of past events. He can never act on his emotions or be the man XY wishes for because he is going for a more grand plan for her. But you can tell he loves her but can never say. XY definitely has feelings for both XL (ability with no feelings) and Jing (no ability with feelings).
    Sigh…. To be in such a predicament.
    Tong Hua did a fantastic job because it made readers love/hate the ML and be remorseful for the female.

  28. Came here after watching the drama. And I love it only because of yang zi, cos I’ve totally lost respect for Xiao yao. Koala said xiang Liu is a better fit for her than Jing. How could that be true? Jing has something xiang Liu doesn’t have the capacity to be and that is kind and compassionate. Xiao yao told jing that was why she likes him. She herself said only a man who is kind and compassionate would be truly good to her till the end. If he were ruthless with other people how can he be good to only herself. Sooner or later that ruthlessness will touch her too. Also, Xiang Liu doesn’t live in reality. Xiao yao said that when she is with him it is like an escape from the real world. Which it totally is. He makes his living as a killer for hire. And when he’s not with the army killing, he is eat, drink and be merry. Is that what real life is like? It’s like going to the movies or reading a book, it transports you to a different world, a different place, with different feelings. But when it’s over, then it’s back to reality. You can’t be at the movies or in the book land forever. Then it wouldn’t be any fun. You wouldn’t really be living life. If you indulge yourself 24/7 then it wouldn’t be fun anymore, like eating the duck necks. She herself said, she loves it but if she had it all day, every day forever then it wouldn’t be fun to eat it anymore. Also, when she was in Qing Shiu Town, she stayed for over 20 years because she had a family, a mundane life, caring for others, that’s when she was most happy. Because for hundreds of years she had been wandering and she was tired of it. She just wanted to care for and be cared for by a family. That’s what she longed, craved for. Could xiang Liu live like that? Once she gets fed up of wandering , which she eventually would, could he live a mundane life like that? Jing on the other hand could totally give her the adventures she likes, as well as the mundane family life she wants and needs. He already said he would go wherever she is and follow her wherever she goes. If he had the balls to defy that (b)witch of a grandmother, Jing could be everything she not only wants but needs. In my opinion, xiang Liu could never give her what she needs. Maybe he can give her what she wants for a little while but I don’t think it would last long. What xiao yao wants isn’t always what she needs and jing knows her well enough and he is so grounded and stable that he could instinctively and unreservedly love and give her both.

    What’s more is that Xiang Liu is well aware that he does not have the capacity to be the kind of man xiao yao wants, or needs, with or without his army issues. I say wants and not deserves because if she could love an abusive bully which is what xiang Liu is (he isn’t complex like people are saying, I totally figured him out from the very beginning. There’s no excuse for abuse. he treated xiao Liu like crap from their very first meeting? Despite knowing she is a woman. Basically initially “raping” her, not sexually, but for her blood, taking it roughly, without her permission or consent? Whether she wanted to or not she had to go with him and do his bidding? After selfishly drinking her blood, he would throw her down from a high tree, or toss her from the bird, injuring her? Is that what women love and find awesome about him? The universal law of abusers, is to blame everything on their past experiences. So, yeah I went through all of that and it turned me into this. I love you so much and that’s why I abuse you.) then I don’t think she deserves anything better. Both xiao yao and Jing went through struggles, some more than others but neither of them turned out to be an abusive monster like Xiang Liu. Jing is way too good for her, she doesn’t deserve him. She wants to be the only one in his heart and in his life while she is unfaithful to him in every way that counts just not saying it out loud. But jing is such an idiot, even if she wanted to sleep with Xiang Liu in front of him he would swallow his pride and jealousy and stay as long as he can be by her side. If, like I said he didn’t allow that totally selfish old (b)witch grandmother of his to destroy his life.

    • But you are not taking into account two important issues. XY has psychological problems with abandonment. She feels Jing abandoned her. In a way he did abandon her, because he put family ties above her needs. We can all see he had several occasions when he could have changed his fate. The other issue you overlooked is that XY is a target for assassins. In the book it is made plain that ZX knows that XY needs to be protected, and feels Jing would not be a good protector. It is likely that XY knew this too. Jing is just not decisive enough.

      I feel the drama, while absolutely brilliant in many respects, did not bring out XYs sexual longing for XL, which made all the Jing shippers overlook this aspect and not be able to look past XLs initial cruelty. I guess only a more experienced person can understand that people’s sexuality is a very complex matter and can include pleasure in pain. I feel the author does understand this. Reading the book has made XYs sexual pleasure much clearer and also brought out the mixed feelings XY has for XL. In particular the phrase above about ability which Koala alluded to.

      I hope this gives a different perspective for you to consider.
      PS I loved the drama which is why I am here!

  29. Thank’s alot for great translation. It’s been years since I’ve read a novel (last time was a book of Yasunary Kawabata -Kyoto)

  30. I love this novel thanks so much for translating!

    It sounds so romantic to wash someone’s hair with mulberry leaves. But how do you do it?

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