How catastrophic would Bom-yi’s death be? Not just to me, either, to the whole Kang/Lee/Hanu Haon lion pride? Our sexy maned Dong-ha has only recently rediscovered his confidence in loving without bounds, and finally forgave himself for being unable to protect his wife from harm. Losing this warm presence he can share his good fortune with just isn’t fair. Both Momma Lionesses love uri Bom-yi so much; their constant worrying makes them appear unreasonable, but I understand the how the horror of losing a child affects them. Our worker cats at the meat factory have seen enough suffering for their CEO and friend; they would like to see them enjoy the pleasures of life now.

Don’t even get me started on the cubs. I warned you all in the First Impressions post: the only thing that matters in all of this is Poo-reun. If Poo-reun ain’t happy, ain’t no Jomo happy. And no fair going all Nietzsche on her. Sure, losing two mothers didn’t kill her, but losing three won’t make her any stronger, either. Is she supposed to have a heart made of titanium? Watching this sun disappear from her sky will make Poo-reun wonder wtf kind of world that the writers dropped her into. She should appeal to the Korean Drama Character Union for redress from unnecessary strife and dishappiness – the legal term, I believe. I’ll write the petition myself. I’m sure we could get thousands of signatures if needed. Who’s with me?

Episode 14 recap:

 

Bom-yi goes up the stairs to ground level, her breathing getting more and more labored. Grabbing her chest, she goes down hard on the pavement. People swarm, calling an ambulance. We hear her words to Dong-ha “I was confident. I was confident for everything. I thought I’m allowed. I thought. I’m allowed to meet you.”

Dong-ha comes up to the street, we hear the rest of what she told him. ”Thank you. I’ve been really happy. I made too many promises. I’m so sorry.”

The disappointed man walks back to his car, missing the swarm of people and ambulance in front of the restaurant he came from.

He remembers her wish, “Once. Just for once, please hold me.” And his response that he wouldn’t go anywhere from now on and stay by her side.

Apa calls looking for Bom-yi and is surprised she isn’t with Dong-ha anymore.

Another call comes in Apa’s phone. Whatever that person said makes him stop driving.

Dong-ha replays the strange conversation with Bom-yi’s father, “You met her? I can’t reach her, so is she okay?” He makes a phone call to Bom-yi, but no answer.

Dong-wook, Apa and crew are wheeling Bom-yi into the ICU.

Dong-ha pulls up in front of Bom-yi’s house. Her bedroom lights are out. Not even fear of Oma stops him from ringing the door bell. Nobody is home.

All of the strange things she told strike him now. “Actually I have a checkup tomorrow morning so I can’t eat anything today. A regular checkup. I do it once a year. I had dinner.” As well as her sad words at the restaurant. He makes a phone call to Dong-wook, now waiting in front of the ICU for Cardiovascular Patients. Hyung is putting things together and wants to know why Dong-wook asked whether or not something happened the day before yesterday. “It seems strange. She was perfectly normal until this afternoon and then suddenly started acting weird. Is there something wrong?”

“Hyung. Bom-yi is here in the hospital. She was rushed to the emergency room a while ago.” Dong-wook stops listening. He arrives with Dong-wook in front of the ICU. “She was given a shock treatment with an immunosuppressant, so if it works and her heart function improves, she’ll wake up.”

 “What if it doesn’t work?”  “We’ll do whatever treatment necessary for her to make it until she can find a new heart.” Oh, this is much worse than I feared.  “Go in and see her.” Dong-wook advises, “She may not come around again.”  A breathing tube is inserted, Bom-yi lies unconscious. Dong-ha, dressed in a sterile gown, cap and gloves, sits at her bedside. He caresses her hand and weeps.

 Oma needs to know why she hasn’t woken up yet? Apa has no answer.

Dong-ha comes out, bows to her parents and says, “I’m sorry.” 

Before he can leave, Dong-wook asks where he’s going.  “I’ll wait outside,” Dong-ha replies. Sitting in a hallway, he holds his chin in his hands and we hear the narration from the first episode, “The only thing we can do in those cases is pray. We can only pray for miracles.”

 Bom-yi’s voices asks, “How should I live? Can you tell me?” Flashback to the water rescue when Soo-jung clearly pushed Bom-yi to within Dong-ha’s reach. Right after imagining Soo-jung waving to her as she floats to the surface, Bom-yi opens her eyes.

I don’t realize I am holding her breath until Bom-yi takes one on her own without the tube.

Ji-won hurries to Dong-ha to tell him Bom-yi woke up. He nods in relief, but keeps his emotions in check. Dr. Kang asked her to tell him, Bom-yi’s been moved to a hospital room.

 “Dad,” Bom-yi says, asking more with her eyes than he can answer. “Yes, my daughter.”

“Let’s wait, okay? We just need to wait.” She needs to stay healthy so she can have the surgery. Her mother tells her “that person is here.” Bom-yi knows. She just knows, but…

Dong-ha meets Apa in his office, who comes right out and says he thought Bom-yi wouldn’t make it but some kind of unseen force – the patient’s will – pulled her through.

He thanks Dong-wook for coming here for her. Hesitantly, Dong-ha asks how she is now.

She’s temporarily better but they need to monitor her. For Bom-yi’s sake, it is better if Dong-ha waits. Dong-ha understands.

Oma holds her daughter’s hand, “Don’t worry, Mom. I told him we should stop seeing each other.”

Mom thinks it is because of her, however, Bom-yi explains how she is no longer confident that she could love him. She doesn’t even have confidence that she can survive. Silently, Mom wipes the young woman’s tears and lets her own fall.

Ji-won holds the pretty hand warmer, hearing Dong-wook’s apology again, “I’m sorry, Ji-won. It was my fault.” Dong-wook startles her when he shows up; she hides the gift.

“I’m sorry to wait in your office when you’re not here.” He hasn’t slept. Did he finish the surgery well? She postponed his meeting with Song. She offers to buy him something to eat, too. Even though she has been doing all of these things for him for a while, this is the first time he realizes it, commenting, “You’re like my wife.” She jokes that he sounds like a man who’s been married, and he tells her she’s the only one who can make him laugh. Ji-won explains that she can understand why Bom-yi still hasn’t seen Hyung.

Bom-yi hides her illness and avoids him because she doesn’t want to hurt him, worrying more about that than her own illness. Ironically, it is because she loves him that she can do this. Dong-wook disagrees that it is love, calling it selfishness.

Dong-wook sits near Bom-yi, “I’ve never skipped taking my medicine,” she says. He says it isn’t her fault. But she thinks it is and she is being punished for hurting him. He reminds her that Hyung, who waiting for her all through the night, is still here.

Here is her thinking: Keeping his distance from her is better for him. Even though it‘s difficult to wait, if Bom-yi dies and abandons him like his wife did, she would be sorry to him forever. “That won’t happen,” Dong-wook insists, “but even if it does, it would hurt less than to stop seeing you like this.”

Still in the hall, Dong-ha receives a text from Bom-tepanette, “I think it’d be better if we had stopped seeing each other after we met on Udo Island. I didn’t know I’d become a star that would pass through the sky of your life and then disappear from you forever. I’m sorry.” Oh, man this hurts. He responds “The shepherd did his best to protect Stepanette forever no matter how strong the wind was and no matter how heavy the rain or snow became.” She half smiles.

Dong-ha gets a call from his Mom.

When Bom-yi comes out to see him, tears in her eyes, he has left. She looks crushed.

Mother and son sit across from each other, “She’s so sweet and lovely to me so I can understand how she must look to you. But if you happen to lose her by any chance what will you do then? You know better than anyone else how that emptiness will feel.”

Oh, I don’t think this reasoning will work on Dong-ha. She wants him to turn away from her now. “Can you really do this?” she asks. He nods yes.

Back home, packing a bag, Dong-ha speaks with his dead wife. “We were torn apart so suddenly there’s so much I wanted to say but couldn’t. There were so many things I wanted to do with you. That’s why it hurt more. This is the decision I’ve made not for Bom-yi but for my own sake. I want to be with her so I won’t have these regrets again.

I just hope my time with her won’t be too short.”

Oma and Apa find Bom-yi’s bed empty.

Dong-ha comes out of his house, and Bom-yi, only in her hospital gown is there.

He rushes over and puts his jacket on her. “What happened? How did you get here?”

“I – I miss you.” She says shivering. Noting the bag, she asks, “Where are you going?” She goes into the warmth of his arms.

“To you,” he says “After I told you to leave me I was so afraid that you’d already left me. I’m so sorry.”

Dong-ha opens the door to Bom-yi’s room, looking apologetically at her anxious parents and his brother, who swoop in and put her back into her bed.

Apa follows him outside while Oma yells at Bom-yi, “Why are you doing this? This could put you in serious trouble. Do you want to die?”

But that’s the thing, “I want to live. Mom, I want to live. I want to be healthy and live happily ever after with him, Mom.” She turns to Dong-wook, “Oppa. Save me.” Her voice is thick with emotion, “You can save me, right? Please save me.” Dong-wook seems overwhelmed with the responsibility.

Apa and Dong-ha have retreated to his office. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay here with her,” Dong-ha announces.

 Apa takes a moment before replying. The facts are horrifying “As Bom-yi’s father, I believe that I can save her but I can’t guarantee you anything as a doctor. It could be a long battle but it could also end tomorrow.” “Okay.”  “I’m sorry.” Apa says, “It’s a precious heart and I couldn’t protect it safely. I’m sorry.”

When Dong-ha arrives in Bom-yi’s room, Oma looks at him and he bows. She leaves her daughter in his care. He sits in the chair, “Can you eat now? Would you like to have margarine mixed rice with soy sauce?”

“I can’t eat it yet because it’s too salty.” “That’s right. You’re a professional in this field.”  She’s afraid she looks awful, but he assures her she look pretty – prettier without makeup on. She laughs. “I can finally breathe now that I’ve seen you smile.”

She says she’s sorry, again. For trying to run away from him without telling the truth. “It’s my fault that I couldn’t sense it. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have let you leave me like that. Don’t do it again.”

The cute lovebirds approach the hospital, Park can’t stop crying. She warns him not to cry in front of Bom-yi and Mr. CEO. She offers to wipe his running nose, and he blows into a tissue. Her face has an icky look on it, but she says, “It’s okay.”

They post the Udo Island map and accompanying heart. They brought everything, her clothes and cosmetics, and even the wish pills from Soo-jung.

“This looks like medicine you usually take, so I brought it for you.” Bom-yi thanks her friend.   The pair puts on a show of all the cute things, couple slippers – with stars on them! Couple socks, blankets and couple’s blankets, and lastly hugging couple mugs!

Park seems to have been instructed to fulfill an order of Bom-yi’s favorites: roasted chestnuts, rice cakes and honey. Dong-ha slays me her with a wink.

There’s old books, too. “They’re old enough that a worm might crawl out. They make me itchy.” Dong-ha sniffs them and makes a face.

Park apologizes for not being able to get any leaves wet from rain. He earns a face from the boss. Instructing Bom-yi to get better, or else “My CEO –“ Park starts to sob before Se-na can shush him. “Honey, honey, honey! Stop it, stop it.” She pulls his tie again for emphasis.

But he’s too emotional. “He’ll suffer too much…He’s a person with many wounds…”

Bom-yi plays with the mugs, making kissy sounds. “Aren’t they cute?”

He gives her a long look that I interpret as come hitherish.

While Se-na and Park discuss having the proper apple peeling skills, uri OTP looks on and laughs. Bom-yi takes in the beauty of the man next to her.

Oma worries over inconsequential things. Since Bom-yi is not married, she’s not sure if it’s okay to let him stay like this; there may be rumors.

Aigoo. Apa wisely advises that Bom-yi do whatever she wants for now. Bom-yi is staying strong for Dong-ha and that’s the only thing they need from her.

Finally alone in Bom-yi’s room, Dong-ha fusses over his patient, adjusting her blankets and bed to exactly the perfect angle.

He worries, “I shouldn’t have asked them to come. They made you tired, didn’t they?” He turns off the lights, then slides his little cot next to hers. They lie on their sides facing each other.

“Seems like they’ll get married soon, don’t you think?” Bom-yi remarks how happy they must be. She also asks after his kids. He talked to them on the phone a while ago and they’re fine. “Just think about getting better for now.”  She likes being here with him now, especially after only being able to talk over the phone.

“See?” He says gladly, “It’s good to have me with you, right?”

“Yes, of course. I’m just sorry.” She’s always sorry. “Why are you sorry to me? I like this. You shouldn’t be sorry when I like it.” “Would you like to come here beside me?” She pats the spot next to her. He laughs instead of jumping up and doing so, “You’re playing with me again.” Turning onto his back, “You shouldn’t do that.” She keeps looking at him, “Goodnight. Let’s meet tomorrow for sure.” She thanks him before falling fast asleep.

Once he knows she is out, he faces her again, and we hear him narrate. “To keep you in my eyes and in my heart so I can engrave you there.”

Morning rolls around and Bom-yi wakes up first, slightly disoriented for a moment. She turns to check on Dong-ha. Reaching out, she touches his hair, his nose and his cheek,

disturbing his slumber. This time we hear her voice over about engraving him in her memory as she gazes at him.  When he opens his eyes, she is gone. He jumps up just as Bom-yi returns from the hall. She took a walk in the hallway and proudly announces that she wasn’t out of breath at all. When he asks why she didn’t take him, she says he was sound asleep. “Of course,” he says, “I couldn’t catch a wink because of your snoring.” She orders him to get the sleep out of your eyes.”   He peers at her in front of the mirror putting her hair up. a task that takes a lot more out of her than it should. Dong-ha steps in and inexpertly completes the task.

Putting toothpaste on her toothbrush, he looks at her, then gives her space, not taking his eyes off her.

She sways, closing her eyes, looking wiped out. “I thought I’d need the exercise to get to the windy hills on the island.” About to say she’s OK,  she goes down. Managing to catch her,

he holds her in his arms, panicking and screaming for help. He drags her body with him in order to reach the emergency button hear the toilet.

Doctor Dong-wook does his best to help. They prescribe a diuretic for the edema and put an IV in.

All the while, Bom-yi does not take her gaze off him. “How is she?” This spell, the first he has witnessed, erodes any of Dong-ha’s earlier veneer of control. Tears fill his eyes, and he paces. This is extremely difficult to watch. His promise to protect her feels empty, and for the first time, Dong-ha learns how helpless he is against this illness.

A little while later, he sits with his brother. Tearfully, Dong-ha confesses, “I expected it but when I was actually faced with it there was nothing I could do. Dong-wookah,”

the older brother pleads, “Please help me so I can protect Bom-yi. I need you to help me.”The history between them is still very much on their minds.

“Yes,” he promises, “I’ll make sure to help you this time. I’ve worked so hard because I don’t want to lose my family or those I love ever again.”

I Believe plays in the soundtrack and so do I! I believe. I believe. I believe. _{Mother-effers, if you don’t let her live…}

Dong-ha, slightly calmer, returns. He smiles, and she touches the bed beside her, ordering him, “Tell me what makes you hurt and what makes you suffer. You promised me that you would so I can comfort you.”

He takes a breath, “The woman who I love is very sick and that hurts me very much.” Bom-yi opens her arms for an embrace. They hold each other patting each other reassuringly.

The kids arrive with Meat Mom. Yay! Oma comes down the hall and bows to the older woman. She sees Ba-da and Poo-reun for the first time.

In the patient’s room, they place soup before Bom-yi and Ba-da says, “Make a wish, Dad. This is magic soup.” Poo-reun and Ba-da already put their wishes in. “Do it now.” Dad complies.

Ba-da’s offer to read book while Noonah eats the soup meets with unnecessary teasing from Dad, and Poo-reun shoots him a well-deserved dirty look. Dad tells him to start. As the boy reads, Bom-yi eats slowly.

Meat Mom and Oma sit in her office. They understand each other’s feelings.

“Let’s just wish for one thing now. If all of us are wishing for the same thing. I’m sure that result will be good.” Oma agrees.

In Dong-wook’s office, we get a little update on the state of heart transplants circa 2014. Totally mechanical hearts have not lasted more than 75 days elsewhere in the world.

Even after decades of development, artificial heart technology is still considered experimental. Fortunately in Korea, several recent cases have been successful. At this point, I don’t care if they find a heart from The Hogwarts Clinic and Dr. Harry Potter himself is the cardiologist who flies in for the surgery.

Bom-yi is fading fast, and before leaving, Ba-da asks, “Noonah, how are you sick?” Giving him something he can work with rather than the complex truth, she responds that she has a stomachache from too much ice cream. Ba-da places his healing hands on her belly, singing something Soo-jung did for Poo-reun as a little girl. Poo-reun spots the pills their mother made on the table, Ba-da talks her into opening one since his mind is hurt that she is sick. They hand it to Dad to read, “This moment we’re together is a miracle.” It brings a smile to everyone’s lips.

Dong-ha and Bom-yi sit outside in the sunshine, “Are you cold?” he asks. She worries that her nose is red again.

“I love you,” she says simply. “I love you too,” he replies. Dong-ha pulls out the couple socks to put on her feet and she says being sick isn’t that bad. “Will you do this for me when I’m sick?” he wonders. “Even when you aren’t sick, I’d still do it for you. I’d do anything for you.”

“Then would you marry me?” Oh! Surprise attack. He takes out the star bracelet and holds it up to her. (KWS’s soundtrack song plays. Killing me softly.)

“I may die soon,” she says.“I know,” he answers.

“I’d be alright with it even if it were the last day of your life. I’d be fine even if you only live for another minute. Just live with me. I’m not a shepherd who will just watch over you without being able to do anything for you. I want to be your guardian who can really protect you.” She puts her hand out to receive the gift and they hold hands both speaking the engrave memory lines in their hearts.

Thoughts:

I managed to survive a post episode 13 freak out last week, but barely. There were enough moments in ep 14 to reassure me they aren’t going with a dying Bom-yi in the end. Yes, we are learning the importance of treasuring each precious moment we are alive, and that spending time with our loved ones gives us the most joy. The Soo-jung pill message that being together is the miracle concerns me. I wish she had added “for a long long time” on the back of that tiny slip of paper. “This moment for a long long time that we’re together is a miracle.” Surely, a grand total of 36 waking hours isn’t the moment she is referring to, right? They also must give Paging Doctor Dong-wook a chance to redeem himself to his brother, his sister-in-law, his mother and his niece and nephew, and to ALL of his hometown. Gil-dong is counting on him!!

This show surprised me twice in this episode. First, when Dong-ha realizes protecting Bom-yi’s health is out of his hands. The terror he experienced waiting for assistance, and his helplessness watching the professionals work shook me. He’s the man, the CEO of Beef, the Shepherd, the Funny Dad, Hyung and a romantic fool in love. Showing weakness doesn’t compute for his prototype. Ah, but that little touch makes him a tiny bit more real thus I adore him even more. I also didn’t expect the marriage proposal. It didn’t feel like the typical deathbed-bride move either, that they may as well get married to show the world his ardor transcends her pitiful destiny. His promise to protect her has nothing to do with her stopping her illness. Rather, he wants what she wants. To hang out as a family, kiss and hug, to eat good food and make each other laugh. It’s pointless now to worry what the Moms think. Bom-yi never was destined to be the star that passes through his sky. She will always be the flesh and blood woman whose warmth he shared that first night out by Shepherd’s Rock, and whom he desires to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live.