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Lost You Forever Chapter 45: Mistaking Life and Death for Longing — 43 Comments

  1. Oh dear Koala.. Thank you sooo much for this chapter translation. I keep wondering when will you post the next chapter.. i’m off to read now..

  2. This chapter is for Zhuan Xu. I can imagine his relief after his feelings were out to the open. I somehow pity Xing Yue though 🙁 She might really love ZX but she also wanted the power so much.

    This should really be for ZX but I honestly miss Xiang Liu. </3

  3. Thanks for the chapter Koala. I have been stalking your website for weeks now 🙂
    That was such a sweet proposal from Zhuan Xu but he is just to late. I feel for him, the Empress and the other trapped consorts in the harem.

  4. I’ve been waiting forever for this moment between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao. So sweet but also so sad. Hopefully their relationship won’t change *too* much if/when Xiao Yao turns him down. Their gege/meimei relationship is just way too precious. And no matter how much of a soft spot I have for Zhuan Xu, I want Xiao Yao to be happy and have everything she wants in a relationship. Being trapped in the palace as a consort, filled with infighting and intrigue, while sharing her husband with countless other women is simply not what she wants.

    Jing will come back and he’s the best person for her, the only person that can give her what she truly wants. **You know, it took me a while, but I finally remembered that Jing still has that one life saving pill that Xiao Yao made for him a while back. He must have used that to save his last breath and no doubt will return by her side soon.

    Thanks Ms. K!

  5. It’s a nice confrontation and revelation. Poor ZX, his opportunity has passed if I were XY.

    Thank you Koala for another great chapter. 🙂

  6. Thank you Captain K. So sad and unfortunately it’s too late for ZX. Xing Yue does love ZX and as smart as XY is she is so oblivious when it comes to the love department.

    Hope Jing returns as he is the best option for XY but my heart ache for XL the most. Wish they can become an item.

  7. Thank you for the translation! I just don’t feel bad for ZX. Those were all his choices. I also think that something is not right with him just like how XY is very crazy. The palace is always a mess.

  8. Thanks for the translation! Have been checking everyday for weeks xD

    Still can’t bring myself to feel sorry for ZX… and I probably never will ^^”

  9. What a painful chapter. It never gets better for the both of them, does it? Both so badly need some happiness in their lives, I just feel their heartache.
    Thanks for translating.

  10. I really liked this chapter. This chapter definitely is all about Zhuan Xu. This chapter illuminates his motivations and priorities in his life.

    I think it is heartbreaking when he said that he knew he was different from his parents because he knew Xiao Yao is the only one for him but he chose to give her up. I think he chose this path to the throne not because he personally yearns for power, but because he spent a childhood in which being powerless cost him the people he loved. This is especially shown when he said when his mother committed suicide, he had no choice but go on this path for power. In Zhuan Xu’s eyes, only when you are powerful enough to protect the people you love that you are deserving of being with them. And once he receives this absolute power, he would go to no ends to protect and avenge anyone who would hurt Xiao Yao. This is shown in the second book when he punished the Tan Family for attempting to kill her in the middle plains. This is shown in the way he was willing to also punish Feng Long if he believed he had been involved in the attempted murder. Xiao Yao is so important to him that he was willing to ruffle the current peaceful politics of his kingdom.

    This probably is what makes his position so heartbreaking. He accomplished gaining absolute power, but he give up the person he wanted to be with. Or better said, he gave her up to be able to protect her in the future. Xing Yue is right. It is an awfully pathetic position.

    So after all this talk about Zhuan Xu, when is Xiang Liu reappearing? Haha…no really. I miss him.

  11. Every chapter is a freaking roller coaster of emotions. I would be okay with Jing or with Zhuan Xu, because they both love Xiao Yao so much. But with Zhuan Xu as the emperor, I can’t see how Xiao Yao, who just wants a normal, peaceful life, can be with him. Nothing is predictable in this story. Is it too much to ask for both Xiao Yao and Zhuan Xu’s happiness in the end?

  12. Is it the last chapter?

    The ending is quite anti climax but at least we know who the killer is.

    Thank you for the translation 😉

  13. Thank you, Koala, for the translation. ZX’s situation is sad. No way XY could ever accept him as a husband. I’m certain too J would come back tho I didn’t think of the life saving pill that an observant reader mentioned above. I have no doubt that it will be sad for XL’s situation too.. Sigh, though I miss him appearing, I can’t bear thinking how it may likely end up with his sacrifice for his cause. Will XY ever acknowledge XL deep in her heart?

  14. Thank you x

    I have resigned myself to the fact that Jing is going to be the man that will finally be with Xiao Yao standing side by side with her as her husband until death do they part.

    But I really long to have Xiang Liu, be with her, I mean before he dies, I want them to have the most amazing date underwater, in the sky, on the mountains, sharing an amazing meal etc I want Xiao Yao to confess her love for him to him, I want Xiang Liu to be brave and spend a magical loving night with her. Give her a kiss that would be imbedded in her heart and soul until the day she dies.

    Xiang liu is just perfect for her but her future lies with Jing. I’m very sure that Xiang Liu has saved Jing and is helping him recover, he will return Jing to Xiao Yao side after he has the last date with her forever before he disappears. He will remove the lovers bug from her too. I’m sure Xiang Liu can feel all her pain and uncertainty since Xuan Zhu confessed his deeply kept secret love for her.

    Oh I don’t want Xiang Liu to die, I really would like him to stay alive and still have the lovers bug connection with her even though she is married to Jing

  15. Thank you so much for this chapter~! I’ve been stalking your website for weeks =D I feel for ZX and the choices he made, the life he lead, lead him to make the choices that he did. He can now protect her from all harm, but he can’t have his happily after ending with her. I hope that in the future he will be able to find someone else. Jing come back already!!!!!! I’m really torn between Xiang Lu and Jing but I know that Xiang Lu will never get with XY because of his commitment to the General. But still >.> maybe XY can make clones of herself and everyone can live happily ever after!

  16. Words cannot express what a gem you are for continuing to translate these. Since I can’t read Mandarin you’re pretty much my only hope! Read this only a day after it came out since I spam check your page, but wanted to be sure to come back and let you know how much I appreciate these! Thank you thank you and thank you again! Also I’m actually happy for XZ that he finally has it off his chest haha

  17. I took pitty on ZX from the start of LYF. It’s exactly how he worded it, since the day his mom committed suicide and XY mom left he wasn’t able to make or decide his future on his own anymore. He couldn’t roam free and travel the world, have the one he wanted most. Tong Hua was able to masterfully convey ZY emotions from day one of finding XY.
    I love all the male leads but ZY tugs at my heart more. Just like how XL/Bei tugs at others and Jing tugs at others. I agree cold heartedly that XL/Bei chemistry is more playful and sparks fly for XY vs Jing. But we do just need normal for her, she has gone through too much.
    Thank you again Koala for your translation (I’m better late than ever) but enjoy this book a lot.
    What other books do you recommend from Chinese mainland?

  18. Thanks so much for this and all the chapters!!! My heart is still pounding 😪 💔 tears pouring 😢 😭 I did not expect to feel this way about ZX confession…Can’t wait to read what happens next..

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