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Lost You Forever Chapter 15: Thinking of the Past is Easily Sorrowful — 86 Comments

    • yes, she is. The descriptions of her when Zhuan Xu saw her and when Jing (and everyone else) saw her at the coronation told us what an incomparable beauty she was.

  1. Would someone care to elaborate on Wang Mu/Royal Mother’s backstory, please? I know she used to be close friends with Lei Zu (A’Heng’s mother) and the Yan Emperor of Shen Nong, but for reasons that I don’t know, that friendship was ruined.

    Thanks in advance!

    • The Royal Mother’s backstory isn’t very elaborated on in Once Promised either, because by the time the story started the three best friends were already separated. But from what I understood, Lei Zu, the Yan Emperor and Wang Mu used to be best friends who travelled the world together, and they made an oath never to leave each other’s company. So they travelled and played together for years, until one day Lei Zu saw the Yellow Emperor and fell in love with him. She broke the oath and left their company to pursue her love, thus breaking up the trio. At that point of time when she told them she was leaving, the Royal Mother was in the middle of a dance.

      Lei Zu also convinced the Yan Emperor to go back and pursue his own love, and thus the Royal Mother was left. This is why the Royal Mother is extremely angry with Lei Zu for first breaking their oath and why during her time as Royal Mother she kept holding banquets, hoping that one day the Yan Emperor and Lei Zu would come so that they could continue the dance that was broken when she said she was leaving.

      The three never met after they went on their respective paths, because of political reasons (inconvenient for the Empress of Xuan Yuan to meet the Emperor of Shen Nong; and Royal Mother cannot leave her Jade Mountain).

  2. zhuan xu’s quest for the kingdom will be one hell of a ride. and i feel so sad for ah heng. poor ah heng T.T

    xiang liu’s alter ego @_@ the enemy of zhuan xu.. hence he is xiao yao’s enemy.. it will be really hard for this ship to sail.

    and i finally understand why anyone would ship xiao liu and zhuan xu. he sacrificed a lot for her. to be told that he would have to be powerful to be able to protect xiao liu since young is a huge burden on a child. so so sad.

  3. Thank you Koala! Ah that translation from the Chapter from “Once Promised” made my heart into a knot. I think I even forgot how to breathe! It was so dense and sad!

    I guess things are getting complicated now. All of the characters and their interactions. Fang Feng Fei? Can he bare to kill the brother that Xiao Yao loves so much? And Zhuan Xu, is he able to protect Xiao Yao in Xuan Yuan? And Jing, can he really save his family and come back to Xiao Yao? It’s so complicated yet Xiao Yao is willing to endure even though she all she wants is a simple life.

    Does the Yellow Emperor know that Xiao Yao is Chi You’s child? I really can’t understand the Yellow Emperor, but I guess it’s because I have no background story to fall on. I don’t trust his oath to Ah Heng but I suppose he protected Zhuan Xu in his own way by sending him away to be taught and trained. Zhuan Xu has been trained in a survival of the fittest type of way. Whoever is left standing will rule in the Yellow Emperor’s place.

    Can someone tell me, is Ah Heng, Qing Yang, and Chang Yi all children of the Empress? I’m also curious about the Empress and the Yellow Emperor’s story. It does seem like he loved her very much to live in her residence after she passed even though it seems like she hated him at the end.

    • The Yellow Emperor had ten kids, four of his kids were with his Empress Xi Ling Lei. The four kids are eldest son Qing Yang, second son Yun Zhe, fourth son Chang Yi, and youngest daughter Ba (Ah Heng is her maternal side name of Xi Ling Heng, but her real name is Xuan Yuan Ba).

      As for what happened between the Yellow Emperor and Empress Lei Zhu? That is a HUGE clusterfuck and a major major reason why most of his kids ended up killing each other even aside from general political aspirations to the throne. I’ll explain when I have more time.

      • The Yellow Emperor and his Empress Xi Ling Lei Zhu’s backstory.

        Xi Ling Lei as a young girl was the only daughter of the Xi Ling clan, one of the Four Great Clans. She was world renowned because she was a master insect breeder and was able to breed silk worms that could make the most beautiful silk for clothing. She was willful and proud because she was so talented, beautiful, and came from such a powerful family background.

        She ran away from home and roamed the vast wilderness with her two best friends, one would go on to become the next Flame Emperor of the Sheng Nong Kingdom, and the other would become the next Royal Mother. But when they were young they were mischievous and playful, got in brawls and generally loved life wherever they went.

        One day they were traveling through Xuan Yuan and Lei saw a strapping young man and fell in love, he would become the future Yellow Emperor. She had marriage offers by the dozens and thought this young man would love her on sight. When she approached him, he turned her down and said he was already in love with another woman.

        Lei left with her two best friends but could not forget him. She decided to leave her best friends and go back and win his heart at all costs. Her pride would not let her lose, plus she really could not forget him. She went back to Xuan Yuan and for the next hundred years she became his friend, confidante, and taught him everything about building up a kingdom and empire since she was so well learned. They became very close and one day she revealed who she really was – Xi Ling Lei, probably the most famous bachelorette in the vast wilderness.

        He asked her to marry him and she agreed. Right before her wedding day, a pregnant woman came to her and begged her through tears not to marry her husband. She was the Yellow Emperor’s first love and carrying his child. She was not from a powerful family and was just a nobody Xuan Yuan girl. Now that she was pregnant, her father and brother would beat her for shaming the family name. If Lei wouldn’t call off the wedding, then please have the Yellow Emperor take her as a concubine officially. Lei was shocked and dismayed and coldly turned her down, she was not going to suffer the embarrassment of having her marriage involve a concubine and one who was carrying her husband’s child.

        On her wedding procession day, the woman came back and she was bloody, bruised, and battered, wearing a sack cloth and carrying a bloody piece of flesh in her arms that was her aborted baby. She cursed Lei and all her future children for taking her man and killing her child. Lei was shaken but went on to marry the Yellow Emperor and for the next thousand years they built the Xuan Yuan Kingdom together, seemingly having the happiest of marriage and Lei put that woman behind her. Lei was happy and bore him two sons, eldest Qing Yang, second Yun Zhe.

        Then the Yellow Emperor asked to take his first consort to stem a rebellion in the East, Qing Yang was angry but Yun Zhe understood the implications and urged his mother to agree to it. She did. Only later did she realize he was setting her up so that he could take a third consort from another small Xuan Yuan tribe. When Lei met her she was floored – the third new consort was none other than the pregnant woman who begged her to not marry that day. Her name was Tong Yu and she was the Yellow Emperor’s first love and he simply was biding his time until be could bring her back. She was pregnant already and gave birth to third prince Hui, followed shortly by the Empress going into labor early with her third son Chang Yi, who became the fourth prince of Xuan Yuan.

        From then on, Consort Tong Yu had it out for Empress Lei, never forgetting her curse that she and all her children would suffer for what Lei had done to steal her man. Eldest prince Qing Yang hated politics so second prince Yun Zhe would go to war for his brother and in one battle, he died after falling in a volcano. The only person present was third prince Hui, and Qing Yang accused him of killing Yun Zhe. But the Yellow Emperor refused to investigate and closed the matter as death during battle. Fourth Prince Chang Yi’s death (Zhuan Xu’s dad) was because ninth Prince Yi Peng (another one of Consort Tong Yu’s sons) set it up so the reinforcements wouldn’t arrive on time, which was in revenge for Prince Qing Yang causing the death of his blood brother third prince Hui. You see how this is just the worst vicious cycle EVER. Ah Heng ended up killing her own ninth brother Prince Yi Peng to keep Zhuan Xu safe in the future.

        Empress Lei Zhu and Consort Tong Yu and their respective kids would be battling it out until the bitter end, all because these two women were stupid enough to fall for a man more ambitious than his love for either of them or for his kids. In the end Lei completely broke it off with her husband, believing that he never loved her and it was all to build his kingdom. In truth he did love her, as he did still love his first love. He tried to have it all but he bit off more than he can chew.

      • Now I understand why you said it was so complicated, Koala. That was truly a bloody mess of revenge cycle. I’m assuming the two sons left of the Yellow Emperor are from the second consort then?

      • Wow this is so fuckery. I wonder a long honest talk with the family would have stopped this tragedy?

      • This is so screwed up! I don’t like the Yellow Emperor now. He truly gave up everything to get everything. So is the Consort Tong Yu still alive? If she is then she can be a major player later in the book.

      • Actually Qing Yang had nothing to do with Hui’s death. He died in battle against Zhu Rong when he got hasty and fell into a trap.

        After Hui died, Tong Yu accused Qing Yang of it but since he never denies anything everyone believed it.

    • That was an awesome summary of the royal family annals of the Yellow Emperor! I hated him so in Once Promise and was glad he did not appear too often in LYF. This chapter really put him in a good light yeah?

    • Thank you for the backstory Koala! This makes so much more sense why the Yellow Emperor was angry at Xiao Yao, she was alluding to the fact that he married her grandmother for power and influence. Her grandmother was the one that suffered while he got a nation out of her.

      I also love how everyone keeps on commenting how Xiao Yao is nothing like her grandmother and mother, people who gave themselves away to their passion. Her grandmother loved the Yellow Emperor so much that she chased after him for hundred of years. Her mother loved Chi You so much that she destroyed herself in the process ( but let’s be honest, Chi Yo did the same).

      It made sense then that Xiao Yao is one that is careful with her heart. She kind of reminds me of Rouxi, not in personality, but in the way she test her suitors and in her desire for a simple life outside the complications of palace politics. Both Rouxi and Xiao Yao guard their heart strictly knowing that once they give themselves away, they give themselves wholly. Xiao Yao is definitely more ruthless and cold hearted, but for those who she loves, there is undying loyalty and it is a quality that I see similar to Rouxi. Rouxi is actually my other favorite Tong Hua protagonist, she also is another that tends to think with her head first rather than her heart.

      But I see Xiao Yao as a much more proactive character. Thank goodness for that! I can’t wait for the next translations.

      P.S. I am reading decembi’s translation of Once Promised and I am shipping Chi You and A’Heng so hard right now.

  4. thank you koala…the bond between ZX and XY is very deep…and what is the connection between XL and FFl.. ahhh waiting for the next chapter

  5. Zhuan Xu has the personality of a great king. The Yellow Emperor is someone who would be admired by strangers, but hated by family. The fact that Zhuan Xu can still love him, with all of his personal history, is striking. It’s also hard to reconcile the ruthless Yellow Emperor from Once Promised with this one. There is a certain irony in him living in Cao Yun Palace, considering how (not) often he was there in Once Promised.

    Even though, the Yellow Emperor (sort-of) didn’t keep his promise to Ah Heng, it was a good decision. It would cause great chaos to hand your kingdom to a successor who can’t keep it. The Yellow Emperor couldn’t or wouldn’t prevent Zhuan Xu from being harmed, and all of Zhuan Xu’s skills were learned on his own. But on the other hand, if the Yellow Emperor coddled him, he wouldn’t be the man he is today.

    I think the person I feel the most pity for is actually Royal Mother. She seems so cold and aloof, but she actually isn’t. Both of her best friends are dead, and she is left alone. It’s so hard to imagine being the Royal Mother, forever trapped on the Jade Mountain and unable to love, and have visitors for only three days. It is incredibly lonely, and gods have such long lives.

    Thank you for translating! And I definitely look forward to seeing Fang Feng Bei again.

  6. my first comment after some silent reading times..

    i can’t restrain my thumb for my curiosity about xiang liu.. huuuu

    is there any new chapter today to explain xiang liu background?

    why xiao yao feels that jin xuan and bei is the same person as xiang liu?

    thanks Koala for your best translation ever.. i hooked up and can’t wait for new chapter released.

  7. Yay! As soon as I saw a new chapter I couldn’t hold back my excitement. You are the best Koala! Thank you as always 🙂

    Yay, to finally meeting Xiang Liu’s second form. Boy, does this demon always make a noisy enteance lol I’m excited to know how his new side will play out in the story. It seems like him and XY will run into each other again, hopefully often ^^

    Zhuan Xu already has everything planned out and XY has no idea. He knows what he has to do to gain power and control. He is indeed a man with great amnitions but he will probably have a great price to pay just like the Yellow Emperor, her grandfather. I’m glad that he’s warning her about being used but I don’t have a good feeling about that though.

  8. Thank you so much for translating this poignant chapter of Once Promised, it gives so much more meaning and appreciation for the bond between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao. Your writing/translation is so moving that I can’t begin to imagine what is lost, if any, in the translation.

    My favorite line in this chapter, XY: “The guy gets all the good stuff but the woman suffers.” Classic!!

    My personal takeaway: “The strongest is those who have no want.”

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

    • I love that line from Xiao Yao too. She makes me laugh. And the nerve of her to say it to the Yellow Emperor. Gotta love her personality.

  9. And the pplot thickens! This chapter made the plot so much more meatier. It placed Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao right in the middle of a political battle to be at the top with far reaching consequences for both of them. This chapter shows to what extent Zhuan Xu is willing to go to get allies, I mean I almost got killed. This chapter also emphasises how unsuitable Xiao Yao is for this race to the top.

    Zhuan Xu clearly loves Xiao Yao and wants to keep her away from the dirty business but Xiao Yao is going to get involved nevertheless.

    I’m so confused with the Xiang Liu and Feng Fong Fei business. Is it really him or not? Does he not remember Xiao Yao? How did he get poisoned if he is Xiang Liu? Maybe he is pretending so that he could get Xiao Yao to feed him the antidote but the reason is still slim. Ha, I know it was Xiao Yao’s and his picture on the previous chapter.

    Once again, thanks Koala as I wanted to let you know how much we truly appreciate your hardwork. The bonus chapter from Once PRomised was poignant.

  10. oh no i don’t want xiang liu to belong to any clan. i want him to be just xiang liu,the nine heads demon.
    hmmm….is he raelly that fang feng bei r the other brother?

  11. Thank you!

    This make things more complicated.
    And the chest pain XY has was it due to her injury, or the realisation XL=Bei? Or was it the voodoo bug effect?

    • Probably both. She was hurt by Yu Jian when he used his power to throw her on the ground. I think she threw up blood. I think Xiang Liu us Fang Feng Bei so when he saw that she was willing to risk her life to protect Zhuan Xu (his clan and Sheng Nong army enemy and love competitor) he felt hurt and it transferred to her via love bug.

  12. Thanks Ms K for another wonderful chapter. How you manage to churn them out I don’t know but I’m just grateful for your generosity in sharing this wonderful novel who those of us who can’t read or speak the language. Can’t wait for the next instalment. It reminds me of DMY and YZG days.

  13. Xiao Yao is so brave!!!! With no powers, no fear, just love for her gege, she used her body to protect Zhuan Xu without a second thought. It actually made me tear up after everything she has been through she is still willing to give up her life in order to protect the people she loves, she is awesome!!!!!!! And very very brave!

    • I have always wondered why Yi Yang chose that moment in Qing Qiu (when XL dropped her into the water) to attack Zhuan Xu. Now it makes sense, they are siblings.

  14. I’m really confused.
    Is XL really Fang Feng Bei??? How could that be his alter ego????
    And who was that lady that saved XZ?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated

    & MANY MANY thanks Koala unni!!

  15. I don’t feel like Zhuan Xu is even in the competition for Xiao Yao’s affection.
    It’s more like a showdown between Xiang Liu and Jing, who have very different methods of showing their love.
    (also now it suddenly makes sense why ZX got shot by that arrow back in Qing Shui Town)

    • Please give Zhuan Xu a chance! I think he is an awesome and well-written character, no less than Jing or Xiang Liu. He has both dark and light in him, both flaws and perfections. His love for Xiao Yao is pretty amazing, too.

      • Not that I mean that Zhuan Xu is a bad character and all, and he certainly cares a lot for Xiao Yao.
        However, at this point, I just think Xiao Yao thinks of him more as a brother than a love interest.
        (brother-zoned)

      • yes I second you @ fuchan.I’m sad that no one shipping XY with ZX:(.It’s amazed me is that both XY and ZX trust and love each other without reservation!! I remember XY told Ah Nian the same thing,both of XY and ZX will protect each others when in danger.XY saved ZX so many time with her body even though she know she have a very weak power but she still willing to die for him.ZX didn’t force or coach XY to help him to get back his place in Xuan Yuan.XY willingly and offered ZX what she can do to help him.It’s a mutual understanding.From the back story in Once Promised,I understand Ah Heng wanted ZX to sit on Xuan Yuan’s throne,so he can protect Xuan Yuan,XY and his life.A Heng even instructed his 1st uncle network to handle to ZY when she went to her final battle.If ZX just want to live an easy and simply life like XY ,I think he will die long time ago.His existance is a big threat to all his royal uncles and cousins.So in order to protect his life and XY he must be strong and prepared to risk everything.Of course I won’t said he don’t have ambition.But I think from his conversation with XY he is very sincere and thruthful with what he planned to do wt her and XY agreed wt him too..

      • I get where you’re coming from Fuchan but even after I ignore the brother like vibes I get from Zhuan Xu, we get to know he already has ‘his person’. Doesn’t he say that to Xiao Yao that Ji Xuan is whom he wants? Do correct me if I’m wrong.

      • Honestly, as of now, I still don’t feel any chemistry between XY and ZX. Their interactions is nothing more than just brothers and sister. Maybe in the future, if ever I would get to know more about his back story or if there is anything interesting in the prequel that you would like to share, then I might consider him.

        Right now, I’m shipping Xiao Yao with Jing…..and Xiang Liu(Why not both, rigth? XD)

  16. Despite this chapter not having any of my beloved Shi Qi, I don’t even mind. This story is so wonderfull, so well balanced and fair to it’s characters that it doesn’t even matter who is on stage with whom at the moment – it’s equally amazing. You hinted us already about Xiang Liu’s alter ego and I really hope this is it. Altough it complicates things further and creates many questions and is nowhere how I’ve imagined it to be, their little scene together was so adorable I can’t even begin to describe it.
    On Zhuan Xu’s side, I really loved the fact that he made that swing and they re-lived that moment from their childhood. Clearly it was different and missing compared to the past, but it also perfectly highlighted their bond and silent understanding.

  17. xiang liu is too smart, he knows xiao yao will test him with the vodoo bug and poison, so i dont know how he did hide those signs but a woman’s intuition is never wrong. he iscthe alter ego of xiang liu.
    now this ship becomes complicated , it will be like you and me against the world. if indeed xiang liu has the sheng nong movement cause then he is with odds with zhuan xu who is xiao yao’s beloved gege.
    at odds with the grand emperor, xiao yao’s father, coz im pretty sure he wouldnt let another kind of demon steal the girl in his life which is xiao yao. his daughter ( i know he’s not the real father but he loves the mother very much that he loves her daughter as well) so this ship will be facing a stone wall. whilst shi qi’s case is more of family clan problem. shi qi is facing a wood wall . and between a stone and wood , id go for wood .

  18. ooh i remember, someone wrote that Gen Qi Yo is not a demon.
    But still i think the Grand Emperor wouldnt allow to lose his wifes preciois daughter to another Shen Nong person.

    also, i am curious about xiang~liu, it says he is a nine headed demon with nine lives and rumor says he has nine real faces and 81 forms. Goodness! that’s a lot , ppwerful demon indeed but i cannot wrap my brain into imagn

    • imagining how he looks like with those nine heads. and when we say nine real faces , he uses each faces one at a time , right? so if he dies as fan feng second eldest brother he can still be the sixth uncle . but the main xian~liu is the one that xia~yao met, the immaculate handsome white xiang liu.

      • LOL I remembered the time when Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao wondered what would the arrangement of his heads and in what order

      • I can easily imagine XL with is nine head. I always imagine him like the Indian God Ravana. Not so evil looking but just the arrangement of his head.
        http://www.dollsofindia.com/product/folk-art-paintings/rama-and-lakshmana-at-war-with-ten-headed-ravana-kalamkari-paintings-on-cotton-GI61.html

        The plot really thickens now. Turns out Xiang Liu is has more animosity against ZX than previously imagined. And so much at odds with XY atm as not only is he ZX’s enemy but also the brother of her rival Yi Yang.

        So that scene in the garden, does he really not recognise XY or is he really good at pretending? How can he be the brother of Yi Yang and a demon at the same time? I hope these mysteries are resolved soon.

      • Thanks for the link samina. it is indeed odd looking but i hope the nine headed demon is not literal nine heads, maybe nine lives. but the nine tailed fox (shi qi lineage) really means nine tails coz xy says she cut it one by one. tonghua sure loves nines in his leading man.

  19. you’ve got to be kidding me?! Xiang Liu’s alter ego is Jing’s fiancee’s second brother?! Gah, small world indeed!

  20. This chapter to me, is one of the most important chapter in this story. It really let us see why the main characters are who they are today because of what had happened to them. Zhuan Xu especially and of course Xiao Yao and why they meant so much to each other. The decisions, choices made were so much a consequence of their history. Bei… sigh 🙂 so much awesomeness to come!

  21. For some reason, I started wondering, since Jing is a businessman and must’ve met a lot of noblemen before, why is it that he has never seen Fang Feng Bei? Seems so strange especially if they are soon to be in-laws. I understand why Jing might’ve never seen Yi Yang, but not meeting her brothers who are also in politics or business, that seems so unlikely. Just like Xiang Liu didn’t recognize Jing when he met him in that town. Jing has seen Xiang Liu’s face before so what would his reaction be when he sees Fang Feng Bei? Or maybe Fang Feng Bei also has many disguises.

    • I think it goes like this (at least this is how it’s being played in my mind): Yes, Jing has seen Bei before due to business & politics. The Bei he has seen has always had Xiang Liu’s face with black hair (there is a whole explanation in later part of story of how Xiang Liu becomes Bei so I shall not elaborate). But he has not seen Xiang Liu before before the whole Xiao Liu thing happened (i.e before he was tortured and thrown away, and then picked up by Xiao Liu). So when he saw the real Xiang Liu while staying with Xiao Liu, he thought it was just one of his disguise (impersonating as Bei, since people are always saing Xiang Liu the nine-headed monster has many disguises). Because he is not sure, he keeps mum, because this is his personality, which is fantastic in my opinion.

      • Aha, she Jing thought Xiang Liu was impersonating Bei and not the other way around. Hmm, I wonder how this will all unfold.

    • Oops.. Slip of finger.
      It struck me as I was reading the Chinese chapter 15 after the English one that Xiang Liu in his original(?) form, cold, white haired, white robed, appears always with a silver mask. Except with Xiao Yao. Could it be that he has revealed his true face to her only? Hence only she in the vast wilderness has any inkling that he is moving around as his alter ego Fang Feng Bei with the same true face. Otherwise he would long have been hunted down by bounty hunters going after the Xuan Yuan wanted list rewards. He really trusts her, doesn’t he?! That is a huge vulnerability that he has allowed, only our dear lady has no idea about that nor the potential sacrifice it may lead to. He must really have been much intrigued by Xiao Liu to let down his guard so.

      • Yes, you’ve mentioned a very important point which will be revealed later in the book, soon. Xiang Liu really loves Xiao Yao without himself knowing it in the first place. Maybe it’s like an awakening of the beast, just like Ah Heng and Qi You. Kekeke.

  22. Thanks a lot for this wonderful write up. This book is more intriguing than DMY. And the plot more complicating . i hope that XL is not jing fiancee brother . I dont want him to belong to any clan . Just only to be his nine headed demon . Please free us from this suspense .

  23. Hi there,

    I have a quick question to ask!

    Zhuanxu is allowed to marry Xiao yao? Aren’t they blood related? As in.. same grandparents?

    Or in this world, it’s not applicable? Lol?

    • zhuan xuan and xiao yao are cousins and yes in the old times in Chinese tradition, they can marry each other to make sure their clan is pure.
      in the Bible too, cousins and half siblings marry each other to preserve the clans property and genealogy.
      only n modern times we dont do it coz of medical problems. many child born in close related family has some abnormalities.
      jaz my opinion others can refute or add. 🙂

      • You’re right. Actually in all cultures up until modern history, 1st cousins are allowed to marry. Some would even consider it the only option because, as you said, it keeps the bloodlines pure. I’m not sure about the half sibling thing though – that’s a bit of a stretch I think.

        It’s only in modern history did we find out that marriage between closely related members of the family, allowed for the higher possibility of genetic mutations and complications.

        Zhuan Xu could marry XY if only he didn’t want the crown as much as he does.

      • Chinese tradition allows children of brother & sister to marry. However, children of brothers cannot marry. XY’s mum & ZX’s dad are brother & sister. Hence, it’s ok for XY & ZX to marry

  24. Bei!!!! I’m anxiously waiting to see how this character will play out 😀

    This chapter really helps me understanding the depth of ZX-XY relationship. Though I didn’t see it as romantic feelings (yet), their bond is deep, very deep. The extent they do to protect each other..
    Besides his own ambition, ZX is destined to be the next king/ruler. Even as a child he’s already being visioned to shoulder the responsibility of a leader. His parents/uncles/aunts did some things for him and it feels he owes it to them as well.

    I’m glad I don’t stick to this story because of the shipping. Even if my ship may or may not sail, I found love in XL’s character, and it’s refreshing to see how our main 4 leads overcome their ordeals in life.

  25. How awesome is Xiao Yao!! Without any hesitation she throws herself in front of ZX. She almost has no fear of death and seems completely selfless. She would probably do the same thing for the other two men as well if she had to.

    She seems to love ZX but as a brother for now.
    Will this dynamic change? If she does not love him romantically, does it make her relationship with ZX awkward later?

    Story of Xiao Yao’s mother, Ah Heng, seems so sad. From bits of comments I am reading, it seems like her love life was also sad. Glad to hear that at least her daughter’s fate will be better than hers even though it may take a long time to get there!!

    Thanks Koala. I look forward to reading this story everyday. Tong Hua seems to know how to really write love stories. I am in love with LYF!!

  26. Thank you Koala. The drama S1 will be finished soon and this chapter cemented the background of XY and CX/XZ. Thank you for your hardworks because of this very important chapter I was able to understand more the backstory of the cousins. Reading this novel makes my emotions go toller coaster. It is like I am also one of the characters. Good jobs , Ms.K.

  27. Thank you for translating this book!! Better late than ever now that I am also watching the drama series too! But Tong Hua is a wonderful writer to create such entanglements for each character and the hardships they endure to get to their dream just for one person.
    From the day I started reading, I sympathized with Zhang Xu a lot because of what he has to do and sacrifice to protect XY in the long run. Brings heart break because he deserves happiness as well.
    TSJ is definitely every girls dream boy, after going through torture he understood what he needed to cherish and willing sacrifices/takes risks.
    After reading the back story of Ah Heng I now understand XY and XL deeper connection.

    In love with this book.

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