It’s with great sadness that I report that Goddess of Fire isn’t done airing yet. Even worse is that a wormhole hasn’t appeared in the dramaverse to consume the very existence of this horrid hell mess. This sucker is scheduled to go for 32-episodes, which if you ask me is 32-episodes too long. This story is genuinely sageuk for idiots, with romance so non-existent (Gwanghaegun and Jung Yi) or one-sided (Tae Do and Jung Yi) that it fails to engage the viewers and political and personal intrigue so elementary it boggles the mind with its one-track simplicity. Since I last wrote about Goddess of Crap, Gwanghaegun was being set up as a potential crown usurper and he saves himself with some clever explanations. Poor Kim Bum‘s Kim Tae Do has two functions in this drama – bail Jung Yi out of trouble and find out who killed her dad – and its a testament to his hotness and acting intensity that his character stands out when really he should be the cardboard presence to end all cardboard presences. He gets stabbed during his investigation but manages to heal himself after what feels like a good night’s sleep. I’m fine giving orabeoni magical regenerating abilities, it seems less ridiculous than Jung Yi’s dumbass personality. Kang Chun gets rid of his minion Ma Poong but Tae Do manages to get confirmation that he was responsible for Jung Yi’s dad’s death. Tae Do tells Jung Yi who decides she wants to go all Old Boy and get vengeance personally for her dad. She ends up aligning with the ambitious Consort to take down Kang Chun, which would be mildly interesting if Jung Yi’s transformation didn’t happen with the snap of a finger.
Hwa Ryung goes completely to the dark side when her raging jealousy over Jung Yi makes her seek power at all costs, including arranging for her mentor to be killed. She’s the one person who actually is relatable in how angry she is at the unfairness of it all that lame lard Jung Yi gets everything, though of course her actions stemming from her anger and jealousy makes her a total sociopath. Thank god any pre-ordained “romance” between Gwanghaegun and Jung Yi is still barely there, with him asking her once to run away with him and her saying no because he’s meant to be a good King to the people. Of course, they haven’t ventured beyond accidental skinship, though I have commend the truly brainless screenwriter for throwing in yet another scene where Jung Yi falls on top of Gwanghaegun. This drama would only make sense if netizens discovered the real screenwriter was actually the 5th grade son of the President of MBC and this was his pet project script. When I like dramas that are admittedly shoddily written but actually have fun elements aside from narrative cohesiveness, like Mary Stayed Out All Night or Lie to Me or Big, it’s not that I think the quality is good but simply I had fun watching it. Watching GoF is a chore akin to getting one’s toenails plucked out in a gulag somewhere in North Korea. It sucks inside and out. Now that Hyun Joon oppa in Who Are You has gone to the great party in the sky in a flash of golden light, I feel compelled to return to orabeoni and keep Kim Bum company. He still gamely gives it his all and is gorgeous beyond belief here.
One measly scene between Jung Yi and Tae Do: